


Adult Conversations, Lex.

by KRude



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Fluff, Angst and Humor, Artist Clarke Griffin, Clexa Endgame, Exes, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, References to B99, References to Friends (TV), brolexa, references to how I met your mother, rock star lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2020-10-01 21:17:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 55,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20407474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KRude/pseuds/KRude
Summary: Clarke and Lexa have been broken up for a few years now, but remain friends after a Rachel and Ross style "Break" issue. (Don't worry, they won't be like Rachel and Ross aside from a tiny bit of that.) But when Bellamy introduces his new girlfriend to the gang, all hell breaks lose and the truth comes out. Lexa isn't as ready to be friends as Clarke thought and Clarke is left wondering what everything means.





	1. Settle a Debate

Clarke, Raven, Octavia, and Anya had been in the kitchen mixing cocktails. Lexa didn’t want to involve herself in the group dynamics. Better alone on the couch. She arrived too early which meant Octavia and Clarke sat around for a while awkwardly chatting while including her from time to time. Then Raven and Anya strolled in. Lexa breathed a sigh of relief as Anya came to her rescue. But it wasn’t long before Raven was annoying her, so when the group headed over to the kitchen to mix up whatever alcohol contraptions were in Raven and Anya’s heads, Lexa was happy to bury her head in her phone. She looked through Trikru’s Instagram with pictures from her latest tour. Then Clarke’s latest post popped up with her and a bunch of her art friends at brunch from earlier in the day. She smiled at the blonde’s bright smile, she hated herself for her gut reaction. _Move on_. _Move on. It obviously wasn’t going to work anyways, she _thought.

She didn’t pay any attention to the door opening, until Bellamy strolled into the living room with his new girlfriend at his side.

“Lexa, what’s up? Come meet Echo.”

Lexa looked up from her phone recognizing the girl holding Bellamy’s hand.

“Andressa?”

“Lexa, wow!”

Lexa jumped up to hug the girl.

“Long time no see.” Echo said.

“Yeah, long enough for you not to be Andressa anymore.”

“Oh yeah, I mostly go by my DJ name now. Less confusion between my various friends. “

“Ah I see. I guess it has been a while, huh?”

Bellamy saddled over, “Lex, I am so happy you’re back.” He hugged Lexa. “So how are Luna and Lincoln? Y’all must be tired. Thank you so much for coming.” Bellamy sputtered out, “Wait, you two know each other? Please say y’all haven’t been together, I’ve had enough of Lexa stealing my girls.”

Lexa cringed, “Oh for the love of the lord Bellamy, I never stole your girl.”

Echo laughed as Octavia and Clarke joined the group sitting on the couch.

“Not what I heard.” Echo said.

“He lies.” Lexa chuckled.

“No one stole anyone, I’m Clarke by the way. Great to meet you.” She reached out to shake her hand.

“So you obviously know I’ve heard about you Clarke. Nice to meet you.” Echo said.

“Yah know Lex?” Clarke asked.

“Yeah, I knew Lexa back when. You and Ontari were hanging around then.”

The group went silent. 

Everyone looked over to Clarke, but Echo who looked around awkwardly.

“I guess Bellamy didn’t tell you everything.” Clarke muttered.

Lexa didn’t seem to care though, “Yes, that’s how we met. She is friends with Ontari. Or I assume is, how is she?”

Raven walked into the room with her finally finished concoction, “Wait, what? Ontari? You really asking how Ontari is?”

Silence again.

“Yeah Raven, she is. Apparently, Echo here knows her from when they used to haaang around.” Clarke said.

“Hang around, really?”

“Yup.” Clarke said as she took a drink and stared at Lexa.

“Yeah, ok so we are still friends.” Echo said slowly not clear on the vibe in the room, “And she’s doing well. I don’t see her as much, but same old Ontari Always down for fun. Always into trouble.”

“I bet.” Clarke scoffed

Lexa rolled her eyes.

“She’s good people.” Lexa said.

Clarke and Raven glared at Lexa with both seeming to dare Lexa to say another word.

“Okay then, proper introduction time. Everyone this is Echo. Echo this is Raven, Anya, and my sister Octavia. And we have done intros with the lovely as ever Clarke and Lexa.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“So you know Ontari then?” Raven asked.

“Raven,” Anya started.

But Echo jumped in to answer, “Yeah, we used to play music together. We opened for Trikru a few times. I switched up to DJing though, so it has been a while. Did y’all know her too?”

“Oh no, Lexa kept her to herself.”

“Raven..” Lexa began.

“Anyways, shots anyone?” Octavia asked.

“Yes.”

“Hell yeah.”

“Absolutely.”

“I thought that was never going to end.” Anya muttered as she sidled up to Lexa.

“I don’t even care anymore.” Lexa muttered.

“Sure, ya don’t.” Anya rolled her eyes.

“I don’t care. And like could you reign your girl in.”

“Cute Lexa, you think I can reign her in.” Anya shrugged and moved on.

\+ + +

As the evening went on, everyone enjoying the party and interacting in little groups. Lexa and Raven tried to avoid each other. Raven to avoid Anya’s looks of disapproval and Lexa seemed to be avoiding Raven for a few years now. But Bellamy was her go to and he was on his own chilling on the couch while the Octavia and Clarke stole Echo away. Raven seemed caught up in Anya_, she would be fine in the same room_, Lexa thought. It was easier to manage her relationship with her sister, when she was on tour and didn’t have to deal with her sister’s girlfriend.

Lexa plopped down beside Bellamy on the couch, “Bro.”

“Bro.”

“Must you two call each other, bro.” Anya chimed in from across the living room.

“We must. Don’t be jealous, sis.”

“Yeah, sis.”

“I’m not your sis.”

“Ok, bro?”

“No Bellamy, no sis. No, bro.”

“K fine. I like Lexa better anyways.”

“Awe. I like you better to bro.”

“So?” Bellamy waited.

“So, Echo is cool.”

“Yup, apparently you knew that.”

“How long did you know her?”

“We hung out for a year.”

“A year!” he shouted as he choked on his beer.

“Yeah. So.” Lexa’s eyes turned to stone.

“You and Ontari for a year?”

“I am so tired of this shit, Bell. I did nothing wrong.”

“I didn’t say you did.”

“Oh yeah, well you never said I didn’t either. So yeah, whose business is it if I hung out with Ontari? For a night? For a year?”

Raven budged in right then with a glare at Lexa, “Clarke’s”

Lexa jumped up, “You know what! Fuck Clarke!”

“That ship has sailed.” Raven chimed in.

“Ok then fuck you Raven.’

“Awe someone mad?”

“That’s enough, Raven.” Anya said as she pulled her away by the shoulder.

Clarke, Octavia, and Echo entered the living room from the balcony.

“What’s up here?” Clarke asked.

“Well,” Raven began.

“Nothing.” Bellamy jumped up, “Raven and Lexa are just fighting over who is better looking Phoebe, Rachel or Monica.”

“Phoebe, Rachel or Monica?” Anya chuckled.

“Okaaaay.” Clarke chuckled.

“Well?” Octavia chimed in.

“Well what?” Lexa muttered.

“Who is team who?”

“Monica. I like assertive know it alls.” Raven chimed in, “Lexa loves a Rachel type.”

“Huh. I thought her more of a Phoebe type.” Anya couldn’t stop herself.

“Phoebe?”

“She’s into blondes.”

“Ugh.” Lexa rolled her eyes.

“Actually, I hate them all. Does that settle it?”

“You really don’t like Friends?” Echo asked.

‘No, it hits too close to home.”

“Really Raven, fuck you.”

“Awe. You can’t fuck everyone Lexa.”

Clarke stepped in, grabbing Lexa. “Okay, okay. Let’s move on.”

“Sure thing.” Raven muttered as Anya grabbed her to go out the balcony.

“Lex, what was that?”

“Nothing, Raven is drinking and being a bitch to me and I am so sick of it.”

“She is just playing with you.”

“No, she’s not. But you side with her. That’s cool.”

“I’m not siding with her.”

“Okay.”

Lexa turned to walk to the kitchen and grab a beer out of the fridge.

“I’m not.”

“I said okay.”

“Yeah, I heard. You obviously are.”

“I am. I am just so over it.”

“Are you?” Clarke asked.

“Yes.”

“Cool.”

“Yuuup. Cool.” Lexa replied.

\+ + +

Later in the evening, Echo and Raven were chatting each other up after Raven found out she was a DJ. Raven immediately told her about the light shows and pyrotechnics she does for bands on tour and local events. Bellamy convinced Clarke, Anya, and Lexa to play spades, as Octavia shouted over his shoulder everything he was doing wrong.

“They seem to be getting along well.” Bellamy smiled.

“Echo is cool. Everyone likes her. She’s a good friend.” Lexa said.

Bellamy and Anya looked at Clarke for a cue, but none came.

“So, you serious?”

“Yup, very. She’s fun. Can be a mischievous shit, but she’s honest and we vibe.”

“That’s great, Bell. I’m happy for you.” Clarke said.

Raven and Echo came over to the table and plopped into their respective date’s laps.

“You all spent that long talking about lighting.”

“Nope, we found out we have a mutual love of Friends.”

“Still? I thought we moved on to newer shows. Let’s talk about Brooklyn 99.” Octavia said.

“No cop talk. Can you do anything but your job. Like do you watch any other shows?” Octavia shrugged as Raven went on, “But no, we love Friends. And Echo knows everything about it.”

“Making Bellamy re-watch it with me.”

“Settle a debate for us. You see Echo here doesn’t think Ross is a cheater.”

The table went silent.

“Really, Raven?’ Clarke asked.

“I know right. She is team it was a break-up.”

Echo looked around knowing not to add to whatever dynamic was happening before her.

“You know what? Raven I have had enough. It was a break-up.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Clarke said.

Lexa turned to Clarke glaring at her.

“Break means break up. You don’t get a time out from a relationship.”

“If that is what you say, you do. And no one said break.”

“Semantics.”

“No, not semantics. Adult conversations, Lex.”

“Stop calling me Lex.”

“No, Lex.” Clark drawled out the Lex.

“So Clarke is team Ross is a cheater with me. Lexa is team Ross is not a cheater. Anyone else?” Raven said.

“Fuck off Raven. Seriously.”

“Babe, come on, stop.” Anya said.

“Stop what?”

“You know what? Let’s not stop.” Clarke said. “You said you’re so tired. But I am so tired that you are all like I am your friend, yada yada, but you cannot just admit that you hurt me.”

“Admit that I hurt you?”

“Yes, you cheated and you hurt me.”

“I did not cheat.”

“Yes, you did. I never said let’s break up Lex. I said I need time. And you fucked Ontari.”

Echo spit out her drink, “Wait! What? You and Ontari?”

“No, not me and Ontari.”

“Yes, you and Ontari. You cheated on me with Ontari. Just fucking admit it.”

“You fucked Ontari?”

“No.”

Clarke stood up in Lexa’s face.

“Admit it you cheated on me. And apparently were with her for a year!”

“I didn’t fucking cheat on you.” Lexa screamed as she jumped up to match Clarke’s height.

“Ok so you slept with Ontari when we were broken up?” Clarke said while making quotes with her hands.

“Wow! I can’t believe you and Ontari.”

“Wow! I can’t believe you still can’t admit it.”

“Because I didn’t fucking do it. I didn’t fuck Ontari.”

“What?” Everyone looked at Lexa.

“I never slept with Ontari. Ok? We were never together. Not for a year. Not for a fucking night. Not at all.”


	2. Lexa style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa has her say and the immediate fall out.

The room was silent for a moment. Echo looked at Bellamy, whose eyes grew wide. Raven jumped up from Anya’s lap seemingly ready to butt in, until Anya pulled her back. Lexa didn’t budge just staring Clarke down. Clarke blinked under Lexa’s stare, but wasn’t ready to let the fight go. She didn’t understand anything she was hearing.

“What the fuck do you mean you never slept with Ontari?” Clarke asked.

“Well you see Clarke, I never put my fucking hands or mouth on her. Anywhere. Ever. You know what fucking is right? It’s that thing we used to do when you’d be like, Oh God Lex! You are the best! Oh Lex.”

“Ok now,” Bellamy jumped up after gently moving Echo to the side, “Let’s all take a breather.”

“No, she wanted to do this. Mind you three fucking years too late. Let’s do this.”

“Now? In front of everyone?” Bellamy motioned to Echo.

“Why not? Echo is cool and she can tell everyone how Ontari was madly in love with Emori and how fucked that situation was. Hell maybe you all will believe that Ontari wouldn’t fuck me because of Emori. Because none of you would believe I wouldn’t fuck her because I’m madly in love with Clarke.”

Clarke swallowed, “Is that true?”

“What’s it matter if it’s true, Clarke? You wouldn’t believe me then, why would you believe me now?”

“I..” Clarke began.

“You what? You will sit there and talk all about adult conversations and trust and relationship bullshit until it is your turn. I know my place in this. But do you know yours, Clarke?”

“You had three years, Lex.”

“I had three years? Bullshit! I have had three years of being the bad guy, who you all are so nice to stay friends with. You and Raven would never cut ties, because you two are loyal. Bullshit. Three years! To say what? When would you listen? When you just looked around awkwardly when Raven said shit? And what the fuck Raven? Even if I did cheat, I didn’t cheat on you. And fucking Anya grow up! I would never have let Clarke treat you like that. Oh and Octavia you can’t be Switzerland and laugh it up. That is taking a side!”

“If we are so bad then why are you still friends with us?”

“I’m not.”

“What? We’re not friends? Could have fooled me.”

“No, Clarke we are not friends. Seriously when is the last time we hung out? And don’t tell me at one of Anya’s gatherings. She is my sister I had to come. The last time we were together just you and me was when I begged you to listen to me and you wouldn’t.”

“Ok then why are you here? At my apartment? Why did you even come?”

“First off, it’s still my apartment too. And I came for Bellamy. I came because Bellamy begged me. He wanted all his friends to meet his girlfriend together. I came for my best friend. Do you think I wanted to come here and listen to Raven’s bullshit? To hear one of Octavia’s stupid jokes? Do you think I wanted you to roll your eyes when even the slightest mention of our relationship came up? At first I though you know maybe Clarke will realize this is bullshit and we will get back together, but you know after a while, I realized I was a sucker. And the only reason I am here at all ever is Bellamy.”

“What?” Clarke looked at Lexa completely confused by her sudden outrage.

“I had no one, but oddly Bellamy. Anya? Sure but then there was always Raven. And Raven? Of course it should have been Raven. But nope. And I definitely didn’t have you.”

“Lex..” Bellamy tried to interject.

“So yeah, I put up with all your bullshit for my sister and my best friend. I am civil for them. But none of you are my friends. Especially you Clarke. I am so sick of you acting like you are the victim, letting Raven do your dirty work, and constantly acting oh look how above everyone I am because I can be friends with Lexa. Well, you can’t. We aren’t friends. And yeah, you are the bad guy. You jumped to conclusions. You had no trust. You fucked up. Not me. And I am so sick of taking the blame.”

“Fuck you, Lexa.”

“Eh, didn’t you hear Raven. That’s not an option anymore. Plus, I think you of all people already fucked me over enough.”

Lexa turned on her heels, leaving the apartment with a slamming door in her wake.

Clarke looked at the door.

“Did she just… what the fuck!” then turned on her heels heading to her room with a slamming door in her wake.

“Umm so.” Bellamy motioned to Anya.

“Yeah so ummm.” Octavia motioned to Raven.

“You know Bell, I am good. I think she needs her best friend right now.”

“Yup, Lexa needs her best friend," Raven air quoted as she said best friend, "And Octavia, Clarke really needs her oldest best friend right now too. Plus, I can’t even process that bullshit myself.” Raven said walking into her own room.

“You guys are awful, you know that right?” Bellamy said.

“Fair enough.” Anya replied following Raven.

“Fine let’s go Octavia. Echo, my friends. Friends, Echo. It has been lovely hasn’t it.”

Echo smiled slightly grabbing Bellamy’s hand, “Come on, let’s go after Lexa then.”

+++

Octavia walked into Clarke’s room to find her laying starfish style on her bed staring up at the ceiling. She took a few steps into the room before Clarke spoke up, still staring straight ahead.

“She said I’m madly in love with Clarke, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, she did.”

“Not was, but I’m. Like as in still is.”

“Yeah, she did.”

“Do you think it’s true, O?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Did I fuck everything up, O.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“I should have let her talk.”

“Yeah, you should have.”

“I need to talk to her,” Clarke said as she got up.

“Clarke, I don’t think you want to do that.”

“Why not?”

“Did you see her Clarke? Did you hear her? I don’t think she wants to hear from you right now.”

“But she loves me. She’ll talk to me.”

“Did you love her?”

“Yeah, yeah, I did.” Clarke breathed in deeply, “Fuck! I still do.”

“Okay then, but when did you let her talk to you?”

“Fuck!” Clarke sat back down on the bed. Octavia plopped beside her throwing an arm over her friend’s shoulder.

“Ironically, Clarke you need to give her time.” Octavia said with a smirk.

“Ha, ha, you know she is right, your little comments aren’t as funny as you think.”

“Yeah, I know she’s right. We all fucked up.”

+++

As he stepped out into the hall, Bellamy knew Lexa would be too fast to catch up with. No reason to search for her, so he got his cell and called her. He wasn’t surprised when she picked up on the first ring.

“What’s up?”

“What’s up? Well I just left this party and let me tell you it was wild.”

“Oh yeah, tell me more. Did someone look incredibly cool telling off everyone?”

“Cool is one word for it.”

“Let’s stick with it.”

“So you want to talk about it?”

“Nope.”

“Ok, but you know you should right?”

“Yup.”

“So?”

“You coming? I am in the car headed back. Gus says hi by the way.”

“You couldn't wait for us."

"Nope, you don't deserve my style."

"Fine, can I bring Echo?”

“Ofcourse.”

“See you in a bit then.”

Echo looked at Bellamy confused, “Ummm is that not the same woman who just dropped a massive bomb, told everyone to fuck off, and then said a big old sayanora? The same woman who I didn’t even know was capable of raising her voice?”

“One in the same.”

“Ok then, where we going?”

“Oh Echo, we are going to have so much fun and ignore big festering issues like all well-adjusted adults.”

‘I’m game.”

“You’re the best,” Bellamy said as he pulled Echo in for a kiss.

“I know. I’ve met me.” She laughed through the kiss.

\+ + +

Octavia and Clarke sat leaning against the headboard of Clarke's bed watching Brooklyn 99.

"I told Raven this is better than Friends."

Clarke didn't move or respond, until Octavia bumped her shoulder.

"It's going to be ok."

"Is it?"

"Yes, it will she will talk to you. Then listen to her and believe her."

“Why is it so easy to believe her now? Like why couldn’t I believe her then? Listen to her then?”

“I don’t know. But maybe you should figure that out before you talk to her. Cause I bet she will want to know too. And, I don’t think your reaction out there helped either.”

“I know. I know. But I mean. I don’t know. I’m spiraling.” Clarke began to cry, “Like one minute I am Lex’s friend even after everything she put me through and then that. Apparently, she didn’t. I don’t even know.”

“You and me both, babe.”

“Want to cuddle?”

“Are you going to snot all over me?”

“Probably.”

“Ugh, fine but only because I realized I may just be a shit friend today and if I can’t make it up to Lexa yet, I may as well be here for you.”

“How sweet.”

“Come here,” Octavia said as she opened her arms. Clarke scooted in by her friend and cuddled up.

“Fuck.” Clarke muttered as she teared up again.

“I know, babe. I know. But don't worry, Jake and Amy end up married and it all works out by season 5. None of this waiting til the season finale and that weird Joey friendship slash incest thing happening.”

"You're not funny."

"I'm a little funny."

\+ + +

Bellamy and Echo walked down the dark street on the edge of the river in the warehouse district. Naturally, Lexa had to pick the most inconvenient place to live. Fine, she didn’t so much as pick it as move into the only place she had after Clarke kicked her out. But still, she had enough money to find an apartment like a normal person. After a 20-minute subway ride, the pair had a 10-minute walk in the dark. Did the city even have a street-light budget out here? 

“Bellamy, I have to warn you if you are going to try and kill me, I am like super tough.”

“I know you are tough. I heard all about your fighting days from Roan.”

“Okay, I just well this outfit is really expensive, and I don’t want to get any blood on it.”

“Well then, let’s skip the murder for tonight and go chill with angry bird 1 in here.”

“Angry bird 1?”

“Yup, Raven and Lexa. Our lil Angry Birds.”

“There is a story there that I am going to need to know.”

“You got it, but for now, let’s ignore all that and have fun, Lexa style.” He said as he knocked on the massive front door.

“Hello, Bellammmy and Echooooo.” Yelled as she opened the door.

“Are you drunk?”

“Yes, I’ve been drunk all night. I thought that part was obvious.”

“Ok then are you drunker?”

“Yes, absolutely. And I plan on getting even drunker.”

Bellamy shrugged and pulled Echo into the massive warehouse.

“I guess, we’ll have to join you then. But note, I do not approve with using alcohol as an escape.”

“Noted, bro.”

“But I do,” Echo said.

“Did I tell you I like her, Bell.” Lexa said as she swung her arm around him, “cause I really do.”

"Hey Lex, I know we said we weren't talking about it, but I was wondering about one thing."

"Ugh, do we have to?"

"Yeah."

"Ok what thing?" Lexa rolled her eyes.

"Well you told everyone what you hated about them, what about me? I didn't get a stern talking too?"

"Well Bell, that is because my expectations for you were so low before anything you did would look alright."

"Awe thanks, Love."

"Don't call me Love."

"Is this an Anya bro thing?"

"No this is you're an annoying fuck thing."

"Noted."


	3. A Little Birdie Told Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after... texting, not talking, and Lexa has one more rant left in her. Oh and enter Lincoln, we generally like him.

Lincoln walked into Lexa’s bedroom and sat down beside a fully dressed Lexa wearing last night's jeans and t-shirt laying on top of her comforter surrounded by her pillows. It was obvious she passed out in her bed after a long night. He flopped down on her floor level bed and stretched out his feet. Lexa looked up at her guest, nodded, and stretched out her limbs. After a minute of sitting there, Lincoln shrugged realizing, Lexa wasn't going to say what they both were thinking about.

“So a little birdie told me, you had quite the night.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah and the same little birdie told me you don’t think she is very funny.”

“Well, she’s not.”

Lincoln laughed.

“Is she pissed?”

“Octavia or Clarke?”

“Octavia, I don’t care about Clarke.”

“Alright I will ignore that one for now, but nah, Octavia knows you are right.”

“She does?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean Octavia? Are we talking about the same Octavia here, she said I was right?”

“Well obviously not in those words.”

‘Figures.”

“She is sorry though.”

“Good.”

“She wants to talk to you.”

“Ok.”

“I mean you don’t have too.”

“I don’t plan too.”

“Really, Lex?”

“Is this going to get awkward, Linc? Because I am sort of sick of pretending everything is ok to maintain so-called friendships. That’s kind of what last night was all about.”

“Geez, Lexa she didn’t lie, when she said you were done.”

“I am.”

“Ok, well no, it won’t affect our friendship ever Lexa. But you will have to talk to her sometime and Clarke.”

Lexa rolled her eyes.

“And even Raven.”

“Yeah, that’s not happening.”

“I’m not saying now, just…”

“Look Lincoln, I am sure you are going to share your insight and listen I may value it someday. But today, I want to wake up eat the greasiest breakfast I can find and pretend that I don’t have to deal with anyone I don’t want to at least for today. Cool?”

“Yeah, cool.”

Lincoln smiled widely.

“What?”

“I like this Lex, she’s fun.”

“This Lex?”

Bellamy walked into the room and leaned against Lincoln, putting his elbow on his shoulder as he sat.

“You know Lex, the one who inexplicably lost her filter and went all fuck you and you and you, you’re ok, fuck you.”

Lincoln looked to Bellamy with a gleam in his eye, “Was it as great as O made it out to be?”

“Oh man you have no idea. I believe she said and may I quote you here, Lex.”

“No, you can’t.”

“Oh but I must. Linc, she actually said to Clarke, you know what fucking is? And then bla, bla, bla, oh Oh God Lex! You are the best! Oh Lex in full on Clarke voice.”

“No?”

“No!”

“Yes, Lex, yes.”

“No, I didn’t. Not like that.”

“One hundred percent like that. Full on moaning even.”

“That’s the greatest.” Lincoln said.

“I mean I was embarrassed for her at the time, but now. I mean can you get that put on your band t-shirts?”

“ohh or like a track repeat, Oh God Lex, chicka chicka chicka, You are the best. Chicka chicka chicka.” Lincoln sang.

“No, this needs to stop. Echooooo! Come get your boyfriend,” Lexa yelled.

“What? He was doing it too.”

“Yeah, but he is going to take me for breakfast, so he has value.”

“Breakfast?” Echo mumbles as she saunters into the room.

She kisses Bellamy.

“Are you breakfast?” she asks Lincoln.

“Lincoln, but we can make arrangements.”

“Ugh, incest alert.”

“Ahhh, O’s Lincoln. Well nice to meet you.”

Lincoln jumped up to hug Echo.

“Nice to meet you Echo. So sorry I wasn’t there last night.”

‘Yeah, you are.” Bellamy added.

“So is breakfast happening?” Lexa asked.

“Fun, is O coming?” Echo asked.

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Eh tu, Echo?’

Echo shrugged.

“No, she’s busy dealing with that one’s wake.” Lincoln pointed to Lexa.

“Speaking of where were you last night?”

“Sleeping like any sane person would. We were dead tired when we got back. Actually, maybe that’s why Lex went all grumpy cat on y’all.”

“Ahh, you’re about as funny as your girl.” Lexa whined, “Now feed me.”

\+ + +

Clarke woke up next to an awake Octavia who was leaning against the headboard playing with her phone. She definitely felt a hangover both alcohol and emotional. _Ugh, how did everything go to shit?_

“Morning.” She mumbled.

“Morning, babe.”

“I forgot to ask, have you seen Lincoln yet?”

“I spoke to him this morning.”

“You just spoke with him. I am so sorry O. You haven’t seen him in so long and you are over here dealing with me.”

“It’s ok, I like dealing with you. Plus, he went over to see Lexa.”

“Did he say anything?”

“They are going for breakfast.”

“Ugh and you aren’t going because of me.”

“Well and apparently because Lexa doesn’t appreciate Switzerland or jokes.”

“Man, she really is right. Like can you not.”

“So it turns out I am really uncomfortable with conflict and I make jokes. But you know if we are going into it, you walk away, Lexa let’s everything simmer til she blows up, Raven gets snarky as all get out, and Anya just ignores everything hoping it will go away.”

“It is too early for therapy hour, O.”

“Never to early to work on yourself. Lincoln and I learned a lot in therapy.”

“Ugh, go work on yourself somewhere else. Like at breakfast with your perfect boyfriend.”

“You just want the details.”

“Well, a little.”

“But see the thing is Clarke. Lexa wasn’t wrong per se and I do want to fix things with her. And part of that means actually not taking a side this time. And as much as I love you, I can’t be your spy. You have to wait until she wants to talk to you.”

“Okay, so never.”

“Well it starts with putting your big girl pants on and asking her to talk to start with and figuring out what you want to say too.”

“And how do I do that?”

“Well you don’t go all drama queen like you are known to do and chase after her.”

“I don’t do that.’

“Umm. You tried last night and isn’t this how we got into this mess?”

“Ok, fine. I do do that.”

“Ha you said do do.”

Clarke threw her pillow at Octavia.

“Ok, ok, but just text her. Put out that you want to talk for real this time and let her decide when and how she responds.”

“Yeah but when I go in person, she gets charmed by my puppy dog eyes and good earth cleavage.”

“Ok first please never refer to your cleavage that way again, and second, she seemed so charmed last night.”

“Ok, so maybe not.”

“Text her.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

\+ + +

Bellamy and Echo were going PDA heavy across the booth. Fine, light but Lexa didn't need to see the light version either so she checked her phone, while Lincoln chattered about the tour. Her messages were littered with various welcome home texts, a check in from Anya which she ignored, a check in from Luna that she was sure was really Anya’s doing too, and a bunch of texts from Clarke. Her curiosity made her click to see how bad the fall out would be. But she didn’t care, she told herself. _Just curious_.

Clarke: Hey Lexa, so I think we should talk about everything.

Clarke: I’d like to talk about everything, I mean and if you want to talk, well that would be great.

Clarke: I want to talk about us.

Clarke: I mean if you are up to it.

Clarke: Just take your time. Let me know.

Clarke: Sorry.

Clarke: Oh for God’s sakes, Lexa this is O. Clarke is a moron and wants to clear the air and do a lot of groveling, but she knows (because I told her dumbass) that she should probably give you time.

Clarke: Oh and yeah, I think this may be friends overstepping again and maybe not being Switzerland. Sorry. Take your time on that too.

Clarke: I’m sorry. - C

Clarke: About all these texts.

Clarke: And everything else too.

Clarke: Ok I’m going to stop now. Sorry.

“You really going to leave her on read?” Lincoln asked.

“Lincoln really? You are reading my messages?”

“No! Who am I Bellamy?”

“Hey!”

“O sent me a message embarrassed by her messages and saying Clarke sent like a billion messages and now they are both going to go die of shame. And you haven’t replied.”

“Your girlfriend isn’t dramatic at all.” Bellamy said.

“That’s your sister, dude.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t choose her she was forced on me.”

“Sisters are the worst.” Lexa stated.

“Nah, your sister is the worst. O is alright.”

“She is.”

“Wait, what? That was a quick turnaround.” Bellamy said.

“I just said she wasn’t funny. And she isn’t.” Lex shrugged.

“There was more to it,” Bellamy said, “she is just being nice because you are buying breakfast.”

“I’m buying?”

“Yup!” Lexa and Bellamy said in unison with too much enthusiasm.

“Fine, if I am buying Lexa has to text back.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Nooooo.”

“Yes.”

“Ok, fine I will respond. But may I remind you that this friend group is entirely too involved and none of this is okay.”

“Lex, we are a friend group again? Because last night you said, and let me quote you…”

“I swear to God Bellamy if you quote a single thing I said last night one more time, I will have even one less friend.”

“Ahh, do you regret it?”

“None of it.”

Lexa looked down at her phone ignoring the look Bellamy and Lincoln were throwing each other. And started typing.

\+ + +

Clarke’s phone chimed. She reached out grabbing her phone off the bed almost dropping it in her anticipation.

Lexa: I don’t want to talk. Thanks.

“Ouch, that’s cold blooded.” Octavia said as she read over Clarke’s shoulder.

Then Octavia’s phone chimed.

Lexa: We’re good.

“Well that’s clear.” Octavia said.

“She is in robot mode.”

“Robot mode,” Octavia chuckled, “If it weren’t aimed at me, I would enjoy it a lot more. Remember when she used to pull that on Bell all the time? He was like does she have a personality? Like he couldn’t figure out what you saw in her for a year.”

“Yeah, until she found out he wasn’t a complete ass.”

“Or you mean, until she figured out, he wasn’t into her girl anymore and she was comfortable with him.”

“You don’t think it will be a year, before she is comfortable with me, do you? I mean you said she would need time, but a year.”

“Well, you put her in limbo for three years.”

“I did not.”

Octavia’s phone chimed again.

Lexa: Apparently, all of our friends are overly involved in my decisions and I should send better text messages. Edited version: I am not going to hold your lack of ability to not choose Clarke or your questionable humor against you. We can be friendly when we eventually see each other with Lincoln and Bellamy around.

Lexa: Bellamy does not approve these messages.

Lexa: Lincoln either.

Lexa: Echo approves.

Lexa: But only tacitly, she just realized she was picking between a potential future best woman and sister-in-law.

Lexa: Lexa doesn’t approve of assholes taking her phone.

Clarke laughed, “Ha! What did you say? Cold blooded?”

Octavia shrugged, “I am going to shower. I will give her time. You should too.”

Octavia’s phone chimed before she made it to the bathroom. She moved over to wear Clarke grabbed her phone.

Lexa: Fine, the committee of annoying assholes who cannot mind their own damn business have decided that we can talk, as my problem with you is not that big. Coffee at the Ark?

Lexa: No make it drinks at Polis. Tomorrow at 9.

“Well that is nice, she will talk to you.”

“Only because my boyfriend and brother hassled her into it.”

“Yeah, but I mean come on. Thanks. Who says thanks.”

“Your ex-girlfriend who you accused of cheating on you for the past three years and turns out is a wee bit salty about it, it seems.” Octavia smiled.

“Again, you’re not funny O.”

Clarke’s phone chimed.

Lexa: Maybe later, I’ll feel differently. But not now.

Her phone chimed again.

Lexa: Thank you.

Clarke laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“I knew she wrote thanks just to piss me off.”

“And that’s funny how?”

“I don’t know it just is.”

“And I am the one who isn’t funny.”

\+ + +

Lexa put her phone in her back pocket as she looked to Lincoln and began to eat her breakfast again.

“Better?”

“Well, not exactly what I was going for, but I guess it works.”

“Yeah, better than bee boo bah boo bee boo bah boo Lex.”

“Bellamy, really?” Lincoln asked, “Why must you Blakes make everything a joke.

Bellamy shrugged, “Difficult childhood?”

“But Lex, you really do need to talk with Clarke.” Lincoln said.

“No, I don’t.”

“Ok, well you should talk to someone in general then.” Lincoln said.

“Nah, I am good.”

“Come on Lexa, it can’t be healthy to keep it in.”

“Seriously, Lex you do need to talk to someone.” Bellamy joined in.

“Ok, I’ll talk to someone. Hey Echo, can we talk?”

“Suuure.” Echo drawled out the word.

“Right, remember that time when you first met me back when and I was chilling with Ontari all the time and getting super drunk and acting a fool, but it was all in good fun? Cause I had like one real friend and my bandmates? Well, it turns out it wasn’t all in good fun, because you see that was right after my girlfriend and I were having issues, because she couldn’t handle me being away on tour, had serious trust issues, and apparently I didn’t know how to hold adult conversations. So she asked for time and then I was like what does that mean? And she was like nothing, because she just hung up on me. But she decided after a few days she was wrong and she didn’t need time, so she was going to sweep in all dramatic and magically fix all of our problems, but instead of even managing to like not fix a single problem, she decided to jump to a wild conclusion, throw away everything and paint me as a cheating rock star Liar McLiar Face. And then my best friend Raven decided hey let’s just add on to the flames and boom! Mind you at least I learned from the Ontari-Emori drama never ever get involved in a friend’s relationship. But that’s an issue for our next session. Now I get home because I am an idiot who decided hey it is a misunderstanding no reason to blow it out of proportion. Only to find out, I had been kicked to the curb and no I couldn’t explain myself and Raven was just protecting her friend. And my dumbass hangs onto this fantasy for like a whole fricking year, until I decide fuck her and everyone, I will just be civil, instead of blowing up every relationship I have and making things awkward as fuck. And you know when I was on tour it worked real well and I managed the down time for two whole years. Then this guy over here is all like hey Lex, come meet my wonderful girlfriend who hung the moon and stars and I was like k, fine. It can’t be that bad. Then it turned out girlfriend knew Ontari and I was just really tired, a little bit drunk, and first Raven bla bla bla and then Clarke was all like hey Cheater McCheat Face remember that time you cheated. And I was like let’s just fact check this already. And I said some things very politely all things considered. Then everyone was like you should talk. So I talked.”

“Do you feel better?” Echo asked.

“Much.”

“You guys should definitely look into becoming therapist or life coaches or something.” Echo said to Bellamy and Lincoln.

“You know Lex, I am beginning to think you just enjoy these rants.”

“Fuck off, Bellamy.” Lexa, Lincoln, and Echo said in unison.

“Ok fine, side with Ranty McRant Face over there.”

“Ugh Bellamy.” Lexa grunted as she threw her toast at him.

“No, really song lyrics?”

“Ugh.” The table collectively moaned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, we will be seeing more Clarke. And get a little bit more understanding as to why her faith in Lexa had been shaken and why she choose to deal with everything pretty poorly.


	4. Is this you groveling?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa talk-ish.

It had been a month, since Clarke and Lexa last communicated. Not texts, no run-ins, nothing. Lexa had met up with Octavia, Clarke knew that much, and they seemed to be on good terms. She didn’t know what went down between them. But since then Octavia hung out with Lexa, Lincoln, Luna, Bellamy and Echo a few times. But that was the extent of her knowledge of Lexa. Octavia really was being Switzerland this time around. And Anya never told her anything about Lexa, except she invited her to the gathering on Friday. And that was it. Clarke had decided to listen and give her time. She decided to stop involving friend, so she wouldn’t ask, even though she wanted to. But with Friday coming up, she didn’t want to put Lexa on the spot again. She wanted to be able to go to gatherings and for Lexa to feel comfortable there. And fine, she really wanted to see Lexa. To talk to her.

_Fuck it, I am going to text her. How bad could it be?_ She thought.

Clarke: Hi Lex, I was wondering if you are ready to get together? I’m not pushing I promise. It’s just I will be at Anya’s on Friday and well I was hoping we could chat before so things won’t be awkward.

Lexa: It won’t be awkward.

Clarke: Ok well, can we talk anyways?

Lexa: I won’t be there. You’re fine.

Clarke: Lex, you can’t skip out on events because I’ll be around.

Lexa: I’m not. This has 0 to do with you Clarke. I will be in LA.

Clarke: Oh, I’m sorry.

Lexa: You’ve been sorry a lot lately.

Clarke: I’m not trying to fight, Lex.

Lexa: Well, what are you trying to do?

Clarke: Talk!!! Fuck Lex, why are you making this so hard?

“Fuck!” Clarke screamed.

Raven knocked on her door, “You ok?”

“Yes, because I scream fuck when I’m ok.”

“Hey I am the snarky one in this house.”

“Ugh, she just won’t even give me the time of day and every attempt I make is wrong.”

“Sounds like Lex.”

“I’m sorry, Raven.”

“For what?”

“I shouldn’t have jumped to that and then drug you in.”

“Eh, I didn’t take much dragging. I was just so pissed at her you know.”

“Actually, I don’t.”

“Ok, so I was. And then you were so heartbroken that I guess I just latched on. “

“Why was it so easy for us to believe?”

“I don’t know about you. But I guess, I just felt like I didn’t really know her anymore. I mean she hadn’t talked to me in a month, Clarke.”

“What?”

“Yeah, we went from living together, touring together, talking together every day to nothing.”

“She never said anything to me about it. Why wasn’t she talking to you?”

“I don’t know. And I, like I know that I was wrong, right? But honestly, I can’t help but still be angry. She dropped me when I decided to stay home. And supporting you, well it didn’t start as a you versus her thing. You were here. You talked to me. So, I backed you. I mean she told me to watch out for you while she was on tour. I did that, right? I just, I really don’t know. I let it get out of hand.”

“You and me both. I mean she talked to me obviously, but we were just talking around each other really. And then Ontari was always around I swear to God. That wasn’t my imagination. I would call and she’d be like hold up and sneak away. And I know I should have been better about that, but and I’m not making excuses here, but she gave me a lot of reasons to be suspicious. I don’t think I was a crazy jealous girlfriend. Was I?”

“From time to time.”

“Ugh!” Clarke leaned back covering her head with her pillow.

Clarke’s phone chimed.

Lexa: Is this you groveling? Because if so, you are really bad at it.

Clarke: No, this is me wanting to talk. Not be ignored. Not be your punching bag.

Lexa: Sucks, huh?

Clarke: You know what it does. And we can talk about that when you are ready. I know I fucked up, but I am not going to do this with you anymore.

Lexa: Got you.

Lexa: Good thing I never asked to do this with you at all.

“Fuck, I’m still fucking up!”

“It’s almost like you two don’t know how to talk to each other.”

“Hardy har, Raven. You didn’t do a much better job. Are you even trying to talk to her?”

“Not now, I know it won’t do any good.”

“Ah, the old Raven try.”

“Clarke, you should try it, can’t go any worse than this ole Clarke try. Get some rest.” Raven said as she walked out the door.

“Good night.”

“Night.”

Clarke tried to get some rest, but she couldn’t sleep again. Instead, she kept seeing her slam the door in Lexa’s face. Seeing herself pack up Lexa’s things into boxes and putting it outside the door. Seeing Ontari in Lex’s room. Seeing Lex grab her hand as she tried to stop her. Seeing herself cry in Raven’s arms. Seeing herself the first time she saw Lex at Anya’s place and telling her they’d be cool. They’d be friends. All these memories made sense before. And now that she had to reframe them in her mind, nothing made sense. But she knew, she didn’t like the person she was in them.

Lexa: We can “clear the air” before I go to LA. You free tomorrow?

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief as she leaned her head back against her pillow. It wasn’t much, but it was a step.

\+ + +

Bellamy and Echo were cuddled up on the couch. Beer cans littered the coffee table. Lexa plopped down next to Bellamy and continued to look at her phone. She didn’t notice Bellamy’s wide smile as he looked over at her phone.

“Me Lexa. Me going to stay strong. Me going to make a point.”

“Me Bellamy. Me meathead. Me need to mind my own business.”

“Oh but Lexa, my business is boring because I am such a well adjusted grown up adult man. And your business involves double the breasts.”

“What the fuck, Bellamy?” Lexa said as she punched him in the arm.

“Yes, what the fuck, Bellamy.” Echo added laughing.

“I need more dude bro friends.”

“No, you of all people do not.”

“Yeah, you are right. But Lex, you know.” He said with a swarmy smirk.

“Yeah, I know bro.” Lex laughed.

“Y’all are high.” Echo added.

“You’re not?”

“Well, not enough to cope with you two.”

“As O would say, you’re not wrong.” Bellamy chuckled.

“Seriously O I love you, just say you are right, one time! Just one time.”

“Man, you are in your feelings tonight, Lex. First caving to Clarke, because she’s so ewwy gewwy good looking and then saying O I love you. So sweet.”

“It’s an expression! And I DID NOT cave.” Lexa said emphasizing each word.

“You caved.” Echo said.

“No, I didn’t. I said we could talk. I didn’t say hey girl, let’s bang?”

“Oh, it won’t be long.” Bellamy said.

“It will.”

“Yes, it will happen, but it won’t be long.”

“It’s not happening.”

‘I give it 3 months max.” Echo said.

“What the fuck, Echo? 3 months. I mean give me some credit.”

“Oh, I am. But I have also seen Clarke.”

“That’s what I’m saying, girl.” Bellamy said as Echo and him fist bumped.

“Y’all need help.”

“We need help. Tell that to us, when you are on Clarke’s string after she is like, please Lex give me another chance.”

“Oh Lex, you were so hot when you were laying down the law.” Echo mocked Clarke’s raspy voice.

“Yeah, she was.” Bellamy said.

“What the fuck, Bellamy?”

“Listen Lexa, angry Lexa is a beautiful, beautiful thing, you can’t blame my Bell-Bell here for appreciating a masterpiece.” Echo said.

Lexa got up, hitting both Bellamy and Echo lightly on the head as she walked by, “Now, I’m the one not high enough to cope with you two. You are perfect for each other.”

“Yeah, we are.” Bellamy smiled into a kiss with Echo.

“Go home!” Lexa shouted from the other end of the warehouse as she entered her room. Before she stepped out again, “Actually, clean up the beer cans and then go home!”

\+ + +

Clarke arrived early to the Arc, she didn’t want to tempt being late and infuriate Lexa anymore than she already had been. She had ordered their drinks already and had the mug sitting there. _Yeah, Lex is going to know what you are doing. This is not going to get any brownie points, _she thought. Lexa rolled in on time like always and unceremoniously plopped down in the seat across from Clarke. _Ok, no greeting, this is going to go well._

"Hi." Clarke said.

“Hi.” 

“You know you aren’t very good at being a rock star. Aren’t you supposed to show up late and hung over.”

“Who said I’m not hung over?”

Lexa grabbed the coffee in front of her and took a long swallow. Then she leaned back and looked at Clarke. _Ok, so yeah, I will do the talking. I should start this, ummm_, Clarke thought.

‘So, you are going to LA?” Clarke blurted out.

Lexa nodded.

“How long are you going to be there?”

“A few months.”

“Oh wow, ok. I thought you’d be around since you were done with tour. Relax a bit.”

“I’d rather relax in LA. More ocean. Less drama. Less people wanting to talk. In general, less bullshit.”

“Lex, I get that you are mad.”

“Do you?”

“Oh yeah, I heard you loud and clear, Lex.”

“Now, but you had three years.”

“You say that, but did I really?”

“Clarke, I am not going to sit here…”

“Lex, I promise I am accepting my fuck up, I am.”

“Are you?”

“Yes and it was massive. I get that. I have spent the last couple of weeks second guessing everything I did and said. But you can’t honestly think in three years you couldn’t be honest with me? And I know you said when do we hang out, but Lex that wasn’t me. I wasn’t trying to be your friend to be the good guy in this.”

“You weren’t?”

“No, I may have been a crap friend, but Lex I tried so hard to be your friend not because I wanted to look good and not even out of a sense of loyalty, but as much as I was hurt.”

“Clarke,”

“Right or wrong, Lex, I was hurt, but I still always wanted you in my life. I couldn’t not see you in my life. And you know I tried to hang out with you, just us. You were the one who put up that road block.”

“You get why I did that right? I’m not you Clarke. I don’t want to be around people that hurt me. And you hurt me.”

“I know. But I thought.”

“Yeah, that is the problem.”

“Lex, I am going to be honest because you said you want honesty and I don’t want you to get mad, but I still really do want you in my life and..”

“Just say it, Clarke.”

“Can you really blame me for thinking you cheated with her?”

“What? Yes, I can really fucking blame you.”

“Lex.” Clarke said gently.

“Clarke.” Lexa bit back.

“Lex, you weren’t with me. And when we did talk, you always had some place to be and half the time, you were leaving a room she was in or she was coming in when we were talking.”

“Yeah, because I am just going to flaunt a girl around like nothing if I am cheating.”

“You wouldn’t be the first person.”

“I’m not just any person though. I was your person. You should have trusted me.”

“You’re right.”

“I know.”

“It wasn’t you.”

“I know.”

“And I know I messed up then and I know I’m probably still messing up. But believe me I genuinely still wanted you in my life then and I still do.”

“I know.”

“Lex, can you say anything, but I know?”

“Clarke, honestly I don’t have a whole lot to say right now. I still think you are blaming me and I know you want me around, but I don’t know how to be around you anymore. I am tired of maintaining or letting things slide, that didn’t get me very far did it? I had three years of pretending I was okay with what went down and I’m not going to do that now. I’m still not ok with it and I probably won’t be for a very long time, if ever. But then it also seems I am a glutton for punishment, because I can’t completely let go of you either.”

“So where do we go from here?”

“Clarke,”

“I’m really not trying to pressure you.”

“I know and listen we can see what happens. Right, we will be around each other. Let’s just do that for now. Let’s be friends of friends.”

“Friends of friends?”

“Honestly Clarke, that is what we have been for a long time now. And I know that hurts you and I actually don’t want to hurt you, but I’m not going to lie to you anymore to not hurt you. If it hurts that is just where we are.”

“So we’ll see each other around?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you around Clarke,” Lexa stood up and walked out of the Arc, while Clarke watched her leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the feedback. Hope this begins a bit of understanding without excusing anyone's piss poor behavior. Also, do I need to add more descriptions? I love writing dialogue, but feel it may help to have more exposition. Thoughts?
> 
> Also, this fic may just be longer than I had originally anticipated. I expected to have much more go down in this chapter.


	5. Shhhhh, Switzerland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little time, a little chatting, a little texting, a little flirting... a little progress?

Clarke had spent the last two months working on an art mural lining a 100-foot building wall. The project kept her busy and focused as well as occasional jaunts to the coffee shop to meet up with friends. Lexa had been in LA the whole time with no communication. It was tough. But now Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, and Echo all went out for the week to hang with Lexa, something they used to do every summer before everything went haywire. With her friends in LA and Raven and Anya away for the weekend, she found herself extremely bored. She picked up her phone to call O. She was curious and it wouldn’t hurt to see what they were up to. _I’m allowed to call my friend_, she thought.

The phone was picked up on the first ring to a lot of background sound.

“Octavia?”

“Clarke! What’s up?”

“Hey Octavia come show them how it’s done!” she heard a male voice yell.

“Oh yes, hear hold this.” She heard Octavia say.

“Octavia?!?”

“Hello?” she heard from the other end of the phone.

“oh, umm hey Lex.”

“Clarke? Oh hey, yeah. Octavia just sorta thrusted the phone at me and went to show the boys whose boss at diving?”

“Are you all drunk? She shouldn’t be diving. Is that safe?” Clarke asked.

Lexa laughed, “Were not always drunk, Clarke.”

“Ok. Oh great..”

“But I most definitely am now.”

“Ok well, I guess just tell her to call me then.”

“You don’t want to talk to me?”

“Ummm yeah, but.”

“Clarke, relax. I think we can handle a chat.”

“A drunken chat.”

“Lol, the easiest kind.”

“Ok, so how’s LA.”

“Sunny, lots of swimming, a bit of partying, lots of hot blondes. The way I like it.”

“Cute.”

Lexa just laughed in return, “Some are.”

“So how is it having the Blakes et al there.”

“It’s honestly great!”

“Like old times?”

“Well, we are missing a few pieces.”

“Yeah.”

“So how have you been?”

“You know taking the art world by storm, getting my coffee fix at the arc, and well general wallowing.”

“Wallowing, huh?”

“Here and there.”

“I hear that’s a good work out.”

“Ha! But not when you eat a pint of ice cream while doing it.”

“Meh, ice cream makes the boobs grow.”

“Okkaaay, so someone is more than a little bit drunk.”

Lexa laughs, “Yeah, ok maybe. So… I don’t think Octavia is coming back anytime soon.”

“Yeah, I figured. But have a good night Lex.”

“I will. You too. Save some rocky road for me.”

“Oh I have. See you Lex.”

“See you Clarke.”

Clarke hung up and put her phone in her back pocket. _She said see you._ She smiled. _Sure, she is drunk, but she has stayed mad drunk before._ She couldn’t stop smiling at the best interaction she has had with Lex in months. _Fuck it_, she whipped her phone back out of her pocket and went to her messages.

Clarke: Do friends of friends text?

Lexa: I don’t think there are any rules against it.

Lexa: Except you might look like a wierdo.

Clarke: I’ll have to chance it then.

Lexa: Ok, weirdo.

\+ + +

Lexa saw Clarke and Octavia come in first. She couldn’t help but smile at seeing Clarke. _Bellamy’s right, so weak_, Lexa thought. The two had texted back in forth for the last month that Lexa was in LA. Nothing impactful, never addressing issues, just check-ins and random things. It was fun banter. It was what Lexa wanted and any time Clarke tried to go deeper, Lexa stopped it. She was happy to see her, but things were still weird between them, since the last time Lexa saw Clarke at this coffee shop.

“Come sit.” Bellamy shouted to Clarke and Octavia after they picked up their coffees.

Octavia pushed Clarke forward, who seemed hesitant.

“You cool with that?” Clarke asked looking towards Lexa.

“Yeah, weirdo. Friends of friends have coffee.”

“You think that is funny.”

“A little?”

“I can see having Octavia with you in LA wore off on you.”

“Ouch.” Lexa laughed.

“Hey!” Octavia swatted at Clarke.

“Anyways, I was just letting Clarke in on everything she missed in LA.”

“Ok, well let’s talk about how much fun we are going to have here instead.” Bellamy jumped in not wanting Clarke to feel left out, “Anya’s on Friday, who’s going?”

“I’m in.” Echo said.

“As always.” Octavia added.

Lexa kicked at Clarke’s leg lightly, Clarke looked up a bit startled.

“You in?” Lexa smiled.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Alright, see you there then.”

“Yeah, see you there.” Clarke smiled broadly.

\+ + +

Lexa arrived at Anya’s right on time. She knew she would be the first, but old habit died hard and if she was going to see Raven may as well get it over with be for the group came and stared at the zoo creatures. She managed to be polite and ignore Raven except for the offer of her signature mojitos, and Anya managed to not annoy her either, it was going well. And when the gang slowly filtered in first Bellamy and Echo, then Monty, even Finn who frankly she didn’t know still got invites it had been the long since she’d seen him, and then finally Clarke, Octavia and Lincoln, she was surprisingly having a good time and in a good mood.

When Clarke came over to her in the kitchen shyly saying, “Hi,” she laughed and handed her the drink she was making.

“You know you don’t have to bum onto Lincoln and Octavia cause your scared to come when you know I will be here.”

“I wasn’t”

Lexa arched her eyebrow.

“Okay, I was.”

Lexa smiled and headed off to the living room again playing cards with Bellamy, Anya, and Echo. Through out the group hung out and Lexa found herself drifting to Clarke. First when Anya decided she was done being yelled at by Lexa for ruining the hand and Clarke had to replace her to soundly whoop Bellamy and Echo to just finding herself wanting to chat with her randomly. Lexa was whispering something silly to Clarke when Octavia grabbed her hand dragging her to the kitchen, “Make me a drink, Lex. Clarke was raving about hers.”

In the kitchen, Octavia turned to her with a serious but soft look on her face.

“Lexa, I know we agreed we wouldn’t step in, but maybe you shouldn’t be leading Clarke on.”

“PShhh, I’m not leading Clarke on, I’m being friendly. That’s what she wanted.”

“Ummm that’s a little more than friendly.”

Lexa rolled her eyes.

“Lexa you were moving her hair all soft and whispering sweet nothings in her ear.”

“Shhhhh” Lexa puts her finger up to Octavia’s lips, “Switzerland.”

Then turns and walks back to the living room, where she sees Clarke sitting in the recliner and plopped down on her lap.

“Where were we?” Lexa asked.

Clarke looked around at her friends confused as to what to do. Her hands hovered over Lexa, _Fuck it._ She thought as she wrapped her arms around Lexa pulling her further into her.

Octavia who had followed Lexa back into the room, rose her eyebrows to Clarke, which was caught by Lexa.

“Hey Switzerland, come let’s play Never have I ever.”

“Umm, I think we are a bit old for that Lex.”

“Nah, in fact, I bet the best games of Never have I ever happen in the old people’s homes. 80 years of crazy is where it is at. We only have 20 something years or 30 something for you old ones.” Echo stepped in.

“Echo, you are not helping.” Octavia said glaring at the girl.

“Octavia, I am not trying.” Echo laughed returning a mock glare.

“Hey Bell, Lexa yelled across to the boys at the dining table, “Did I tell you I love your girl?”

“A few times, Lex, a few times.” He walked into the living room with Lincoln, Finn, and Monty following. “Do I need to worry?”

“Yes, absolutely.” Said Echo blowing kisses to Lexa, which Lexa was catching.

“Mmmhmmmm. She fine.” Lexa laughed.

Lexa leaned back cuddling further into Clarke.

Clarke’s eyes grew wider as she mouthed, “What is happening?”

“Don’t question it Clarke.” Lexa said.

“Ok.” Clarke relaxed her arms, “Wait how do you know what I was mouthing?”

“Clarke, you are never really quiet when you do that. You say it. I can hear you.”

Clarke dropped her head on Lexa’s shoulder embarrassed.

“Alright then if you all want to do this, which may tell you is a horrible idea, I am in.”

“Damn right you are Switzerland.”

“Wait, who is Switzerland?” Finn asked as he sat down on the floor placing his beer on the coffee table.

“Apparently me.”

“Who goes first?”

“Newest to the group does the honours.”

“Echo, my love.” Bellamy sat beside her throwing his arm around her shoulder.

“Never have I ever had a crush on Clarke.”

Bellamy, Finn, Raven, and even Anya took a drink, while Lexa grimaced.

“Sorry.” Anya said to Raven with a smile.

“Ha! How you feel about playing now, Lex? Echo still the love of your life?” Octavia asked.

“Cute.” Lexa said as she took a giant drink.

“Awe you had a crush on me, Lex? Who knew.”

“Had?!?” Echo bellowed with a chuckle.

“Hey bell,” Octavia began, “did I ever tell you I love your girl?”

“Ugh, shut it.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot with all the ogling and cuddling that you are totally over Clarke.”

“Be careful you two or Lexa might go all angry Lexa on you and as hot as that is…” Bellamy began.

Clarke shifted uncomfortable with the conversation and Lexa’s shifted weight as she leans forward to talk to the group.

“I hate you all and Anya, gross, just gross.”

“You’re turn then, Clarke or Lex, you know it is so hard to tell with you all over her.”

Lexa mockingly smiled, “my turn then.”

“Ok, this should be fun.” Bell leaned forward rubbing his hands together.

“Never have I ever fucked Clarke.”

Lexa took a giant swigged and looked around the room at everyone with their cups down.

Clarke moved Lexa off of her and went into the kitchen.

“Huh,” Lexa looked around confused, “Ohhhh” Lexa said when it clicked.

“You showed us, Lex.” Bellamy mocked.

“Shhhhh Swiss Bro.” Lexa stood up placing her hand over his lips as she stepped past him and Echo to follow Clarke to the kitchen.

“I thought we’d at least go two rounds before someone got mad.” Echo said.

“This is obviously your first time playing Never have I ever with us, young padawan.” Bellamy smiled and booped Echo’s nose.

Lexa entered the kitchen where Clarke was leaning against the counter as if she was waiting for Lexa to follow. The second her eyes fell on Lexa, Clarke took two giant steps toward her raising her finger pointing at Lexa.

“I’m not yours to flaunt when you feel like it Lex.”

“What?”

“Oh come on! First flirting which I admit I enjoyed, but acting like we are more than just friends. Oh wait not even friends. Friends of friends, right. And then I fucked Clarke and y’all didn’t ha ha ha.”

“Okay. So uh, I thought it was funny. Can we blame O’s influence? And as far as acting… I am just having fun. Friends have fun, no?”

“Yeah, they have fun. But they don’t fuck with their ex’s emotions when they know she is madly in love with her and make a fool of herself trying to get back together with her. But no they are just friends of friends.”

“Clarke.”

“No Lex, just because you are the wronged party before doesn’t mean you get to fuck with me now.”

“So what would I have to do to get to fuck with you?” Lexa said as she stepped closer to Clarke.

“Are you for real right now Lex?”

Lexa laughed as she stepped even closer to Clarke backing her up against the kitchen counter.

“I mean sorta.”

“I’m mad at you, Lex.”

“I’m mad at you too.” She leaned closer into her face.

“You are fucking with my emotions, Lex.” Clarke said as she pushed Lexa away.

“I’m just begin friendly.”

“But, I’m not your friend.”

“We are friends, Clarke.”

“Oh yeah, when did that happen?”

“I don’t know if you know this, but I don’t just randomly text anyone stuff unless I sort of like ‘em.”

“You’re not just saying that cause you’re drunk and you want to get into my pants.”

Lexa laughed and stepped back close to Clarke. She put her hands around the counter on both sides of Clarke.

“Well I am drunk and I do want to get into your pants, but yeah I mean that. We are friends.”

Clarke smiled.

“Well, as your friend I should tell you that you are definitely not getting any tonight.”

Lexa fake frowned.

“Girls generally don’t like when you tell a room full of people you fucked them and they didn’t.”

Lexa smiled, “Now that’s a lie. Most girls brag about bagging me.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and ducked out of Lexa’s arms. She stepped over to the fridge and grabbed a beer and a water. She thrust the water into Lexa’s chest.

“Have some water, you look thirsty, Lex.” And walked back to the living room.

“Cute.” Lexa called after Clarke.

\+ + +

Clarke didn’t want to wake up, she was comfy in the mound of pillows she made for herself to cuddle into. But the sun leaked in, she had to pee, and her phone chimed. Grabbing her phone she excitedly clicked on a message from Lexa.

Lexa: Good morning.

Clarke: Good morning.

Lexa: I just wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have played with you like that last night.

Clarke: Did you mean it?

Lexa: That I wanted in your pants?

Clarke: No!!! That we are friends?

Lexa: Yes, we are friends Clarke.

Clarke: okay then friend apology accepted.

Lexa: Do you still want to know if I want in your pants?

Clarke: Go away!!!

Lexa: Already? We just became friends again.

Lexa: Want to grab a drink, friend?

Clarke: I think we should stay away from drinking together.

Lexa: Sound thinking, friend.

Clarke: Coffee instead?

Lexa: Yeah, coffee with a friend sounds nice.

Clarke: Stop it.

Lexa: Stop what, friend?

Clarke: Ugh!

Clarke: But coffee sounds great.

Lexa: Great, friend. This afternoon at the Arc? 2PM?

Clarke: See you there.

When Clarke came back from the restroom, she had another message from Lexa.

Lexa: I forgot to ask..

Clarke: Ask away.

Lexa: So you are trying to get back together with me?

Clarke: What?

Lexa: Annoyed Clarke last night…. I am making a fool of myself trying to get back together with you….

Clarke: Why can’t you forget stuff like a proper drunk?

Lexa: So?

Clarke: Yeah, I am.

Lexa: Well, you will have to try harder.

Lexa: I mean you haven’t even sent flowers. You’re supposed to send flowers. Have I taught you nothing about getting the girl?

Clarke laughed thinking back to the ridiculous bouquet Lexa sent her after their first real date. _Yeah, ok she would have to take notes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit fluffier. Hope you enjoy... now I take the weekend off from my daily updates (probably). Also, I CANNOT believe I wrote almost 12K words in 5 days! I need a nap!


	6. Let the record show...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I guess I lied, I had one more update in me for the week. Things happen here.... Enjoy and have a lovely weekend!

Everything had been going well. Another month had passed with Labor Day at the beach with the gang, a string of coffee not-dates with Clarke, a summer hike, one awkward almost kiss, and yeah Clarke had sent her a few flowers. Tonight Bellamy, Echo, and Lexa were sitting on Lexa’s couch again winding down a busy day, where the whole group had gone apple picking, because Octavia and Clarke thought it would be fun. Lexa was unimpressed and let Clarke pick all her apples for her while she stood firmly on the ground as her friends looked like fools climbing trees. Ok, mostly watched Clarke. _And wasn’t a bad view_, she thought.

Bellamy interrupted her thoughts by snapping his fingers in her face.

“What?!”

“Why don’t you invite Clarke?”

“Invite Clarke, where?”

“To go bowling.”

“I am not inviting Clarke.”

“Why not, you are hanging out again, what’s the problem?”

“I can’t invite Clarke to go out with you and Echo. It would be like a double date and I’m not going to lead her on like that.”

“As opposed to all those coffee dates?"

"There not dates!"

"Sure they aren't. And to be clear, It isn’t leading her on, if you want to date her.”

“You know what I mean?”

“I know you are enjoying her pining after you Lex, but you do realize you are also pining.”

“I’m not pining!”

“You are and while lil pining Lex-Lex is adorable, “ Echo added, “You should just bang her already.”

“You’re just mad I outlasted your 3 months.”

“Ha! You only did that because you ran off to LA.”

“You know what you think I would learn that it is a bad idea to be close to your friend’s significant others.”

“Ahhh, sweetie, were close?” Echo mocked.

Lexa got up tossing the throw pillow at Echo, “Bellamy, it is amazing that you found someone more annoying than you. I don’t know how, but you did it.”

“Isn’t she?” Bellamy laughed kissing Echo.

“Get a room.”

“Look around Lex, you only have one room. Would you like us to use yours?”

“Ugh!! No! Why are you guys always here, anyways? Don’t you have homes to go to?”

“But we love you, Lex.” Bellamy said.

“Well love me from your place. I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight” Bellamy and Echo chimed as they returned to playing Lexa’s video games with no intention of leaving.

\+ + +

As far as Clarke was concerned things were going great. She and Lexa had been taking steps forward she thought and spending a lot of time together. Clarke had been happy to that Lexa finally came in to see the gallery. It wasn’t much just a small one room gallery with a desk, but it was hers and it was working. And she was so happy Lexa had finally decided to stop by after 2 years of excuses. And it was amazing to see Lexa smiling and she even looked proud. But everything went downhill when Niylah strolled in with her, “Oh my God, Clarke. I thought that was you I saw when I was strolling by.” And her, “Lexa, right?’ And her, “I am so proud of you, Clarke, you always talked about this.” But then when Clarke suggested coffee and offered a hug when she left, she could see Lexa’s imminent blow up starting. And then it was a parade of, “Coffee, you have got to be fucking kidding me?” “What the fuck am I even doing here?” and the final one to make Clarke blow up, “Really you just had to jump to her like right off the bat? Why not do it again?”

“What the fuck? Are you slut shaming me Lex? Because you of all people with your little parade of girls.”

“Ok first, I am not slut shaming you. And I never paraded any girls around you.”

“And I paraded Niylah around you?”

Lexa shrugged.

“Seriously, Lex. We weren’t together, I was allowed to.”

“We weren’t together because of you! And you couldn’t wait fast enough to jump into Niylah’s bed.”

“I thought you cheated! And it’s not like we had been having sex anyways, so it really wasn’t that quick.”

“Oh, I am sorry you didn’t fucking trust me and without any real reason jump to the conclusion that hey that’s a girl in Lexa’s room, she must have fucked her. Unlike you, I could wait. I mean fuck I was going to be on tour for 6 months, were you expecting to have sex with someone?”

“That’s not fair, Lex.”

“No, you know what isn’t fair you acting like I am an asshole for being uncomfortable sitting around while you are all la la la with the woman who you couldn’t jump into bed fast enough after you accused me of cheating. Told the whole fucking world that I cheated. That’s not fair. Hell, it wasn’t fair the first time you flaunted her in front of me and isn’t fucking fair now.”

“I’m not flaunting anyone!”

“You invited her out in front of me.”

“For coffee to catch up.”

“Oh that is so sweet, you can catch up for coffee with all your exes.”

“Lex, it’s not like that.”

“I don’t care what it’s like, it’s not like you are anyone to me.”

“Oh that’s fucking nice, Lex.”

“I’m not trying to be nice.”

“I know you’re not trying. I am the only one trying here.”

“Well you suck at it enough for the both of us.”

“Great! Add it to the list of things I suck at, huh?”

“Sure thing, doll,” Lexa replied as she grabbed her jacket, giving Clarke a salute and walking out the door.

“You did not just fucking salute me!” Clarke yelled at the door, “and call me doll!”

She flopped down at her desk and with a frustrated sigh she muttered, “She did not just fucking walk out on me.”

\+ + +

Lexa was a bit embarrassed for letting herself get worked up over Niylah. But having her around reminded her of the toughest time in her life. A time when Clarke seemed to not care about anything they had been through. She knew that wasn’t how it was, but that is how it felt at the time. And seeing Clarke chatting so freely with her brought back all the emotions she was trying to move on from. She took out her phone knowing she had to be the first to reach out.

Lexa: I may have reacted poorly.

Clarke: You may have?

Lexa: Ok, I reacted poorly.

Clarke: And?

Lexa: I’m sorry.

Clarke: Is this going to be your thing?

Lexa: Is what going to be my thing?

Clarke: Being an ass and then apologizing in text because you are too much of a wimp to talk to me in person.

Lexa: I’m not too much of a wimp to talk to you.

Clarke: Ok.

Lexa: I’m not.

Clarke: Let the record show…

Okay, so Clarke wasn’t going to make this easy for her.

Lexa: I was feeling out the waters.

Clarke: How are the waters?

Lexa: A bit frosty.

Clarke: Weird, when you get all jealous and say a girl is no one to you.

Lexa: I didn’t say that.

Lexa: Ok, I said that.

Lexa: But, I wasn’t jealous.

Clarke: Ok, Lex. Well then if you aren’t really sorry, why even test out the waters.

Lexa: You know you have a lot of gall to talk about me being jealous.

Clarke: I’m not going to do this with you.

Lexa: Ok, cool then.

Lexa couldn’t help but be snippy and lash out. She knew better and she knew she was wrong, but even in text it just came out.

Clarke: No not cool and don’t go misinterpreting me and giving me the cold shoulder. I can’t be the boogey man all the time. If you want to have an adult conversation with me in person, I am all for it. I want to be with you. But I am not going to put up with this.

Lexa: Ok.

Lexa was frustrated with herself, with Clarke, with everything. But she knew she couldn’t keep this up. She needed to move forward. She was going to let the baggage go and move forward. Because as much as she wanted Clarke to work for it, she wanted to be with Clarke more. And she knew that meant she’d have to take a step forward.

Lexa: Hey.

Raven: Hey, how’s it going?

\+ + +

Clarke came home to Lexa sitting on her couch in her living room with an outrageously large bouquet of flowers already in a pot on her coffee table.

“What are you doing here, Lex? How’d you even get in?”

“Well, you see when you are trying to woo a girl you hit up her roommate to let you in and make sure she is gone for the night, then you bring flowers and do a whole romantic gesture. And as it turns out, I think I want to woo you too.”

“That simple?”

"I'm hoping. You see I really want to be with you too.”

“You do?” Clarke couldn’t help but smile.

“And I want to stop living in the past.” Lexa said as she took a step towards Clarke.

“How do we do that?”

“Well, I think we just take a leap forward.”

Lexa stepped towards Clarke gently grabbing her neck and pulling her into her.

“I think we just go for it,” Lexa whispered as she swept her lips softly over Clarke’s.

Clarke returned the kiss immediately. Lexa was gentle but firm, swiping her tongue over her lips, before seeking more with urgency. Lexa’s arms wrapped around her waist gently pushing up the hem of her shirt touching the skin below. when Clarke stopped kissing and leaned back to look into Lexa’s eyes.

“Clarke.” Lexa whispered as she leaned in to kiss her again.

“Lexa.” Clarke said as she stepped back, but not out of her arms.

“We need to talk.”

“Yes and we will. Just not now.”

“Lexa, come on.”

“Clarke, I know and it’s not like that ok. We will talk. I promise. But can we just for now enjoy each other. Can we just let all that go for right now and be together?”

“Lexa, I am not having meaningless sex with you.”

“Clarke, that isn’t what I want. I just want you. We will talk, I promise. This means something to me. You mean something to me.”

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yes, we will talk though, right?”

“Yes, plenty of talking, we will talk so much, you will hate it. You will be like oh Lexa please, stop all the talking.”

Clarke leaned back in kissing Lexa, “I think I am already there.”

“Huh?” Lexa mumbled as she returned Clarke’s kiss.

“Stop all the talking.”

“No problem.” Lexa pushed Clarke back on the couch, “my mouth has better things to do anyways.”

“You’re the worst.”

“Oh yeah, see how long you are saying that for, you're going to be all like…”

Clarke put her finger to Lexa’s lips, “Don’t you dare imitate my sex voice ever again.”

“Yes, Ma’am”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited notes, to let y’all know that there are a lot of chapters left and a lot unresolved and unaddressed... sometimes people behave differently than we expect and sometimes things are swept under the rug.... there will absolutely be a happy ending here so you’ll have to be ok with Clarke at some point.... this is not their happy ending... but this is a moment of happiness...
> 
> It’s a long weekend here, so I will update Tuesday and it’s going to be intense...


	7. So not well?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People... talk?

Lexa was leaning into Clarke’s chest as Clarke woke up to sounds from the kitchen. She heard clinking of dishes and shutting of cabinets. Raven never could be quiet. Lexa’s hand was making circles on Clarke’s stomach, as Clarke gently stroked her shoulder. It felt like before. Like lazy mornings waking up late or waking up early, but staying in bed enjoying themselves. It felt nice. They hadn’t talked yet. Clarke thought that could wait a bit, instead they made love and laid in each other’s arms again.

The combination of Raven’s noises and her stomach growling made Clarke realize it was time to get the day going and leave the cozy confines of her room.

“Sounds like Raven is back, want to see if she wants to grab brunch with Anya?”

“No, I’d rather not.”

“I thought you were ok with them.”

“I’m not.”

“But you go to Anya’s gatherings. You obviously talked to Raven to surprise me.” Clarke looked into Lexa’s eyes questioningly.

“I go to Anya’s gatherings, because my friends go, I still want a social life and meeting new friends who aren’t vultures isn’t exactly easy for me Clarke. Plus, I am not going to drop my sister. But no, I’m not ok with Raven. I only texted her for the key. We aren’t chummy. And I don’t plan to be.”

“Okay, but I mean she’s my roommate. If we are together, she will be around.”

“If?” Lexa smiled, “We are together.” Clarke smiled as Lexa reached up to place a gentle kiss on the corner of her lips, “and you forget, she is my sister’s girlfriend, I can be around her. I just don’t want to hang out with her.”

“So you aren’t going to talk to her?”

“No.”

“What I don’t understand is how you can forgive me, but not her?”

“Clarke.”

Clarke looks directly at Lexa, but Lexa looks away darting her eyes to the ceiling.

“Lex, did you forgive me?”

Lexa snuggles into Clarke, “Clarke, I love you.”

Then she snuggles into her chest further.

Clarke lifts Lexa’s chin up to look at her.

“That’s not what I asked.”

Lexa remained silent. But she didn’t look away from Clarke.

“Do you forgive me?”

“No.”

Clarke sits up in bed. She reaches over to grab her shirt off the floor. As Lexa leans back covering her face with her hands. “I’m going to go to the gallery. You can just yeah, do whatever Lex.”

“Clarke.”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t go.”

“Lexa, I.. I can’t do this right now.” She says as she continues to get dressed.

“Then don’t just get back into bed and cuddle with me.”

“I thought we agreed on talking things through.”

“Ok, but how is what you are doing talking? Just taking off? What I am saying is just for now, lets not talk. Just stay.”

“I can’t stay.”

“Then how will we ever talk? I don’t want to talk now in this very moment. But I will. I just I don’t always need to talk when and where you dictate.”

‘I am not dictating anything Lex. You can’t expect me to be ok with you not forgiving me.”

“Well, you can’t expect me to just forgive you. I mean fuck Clarke that is a big ask.”

“Well, I am an idiot then, because I guess I thought when you wanted to be friends and see where it goes and then started flirting and wanted me and especially when last night that… that meant you forgave me.”

“I still love you. I want to be with you. That is why I want to give this a go. I don’t want to wait to forgive you, to be with you.”

“What does that even mean, Lex?”

“It means I had a chance to be happy and I took it. I am so tired of being angry at you and yet wanting to be around you. So I thought hell, why not? I am not going to wait around to forgive you for fucking us over back then, when I can just be with you now.”

“We can’t build a relationship on that.”

“Why not?”

“Because Lex, then we will just be left where we were last time, with one of us not trusting the other until it blows up in our faces.”

“Ok, so what? You’d rather us be apart again. You’d rather have that three years than this?”

“I’d rather have a girlfriend who can forgive me for my mistakes.”

“Well, I can’t and I am not going to lie to you and say I am ok with you not trusting me. With you not giving us the chance to work through it in the first place.”

“I don’t know where we go from here then. Because I can’t always wonder when or if you will forgive me. If you are always going to hold that against me until you blow a gasket about it.”

“I’m not going to blow a gasket. I have it under control.”

“Like you did earlier?”

“That’s different.”

“Ok then until, I get jealous or you go back to work in LA, or go on tour, or things just get tough again. Cause they will Lex, that’s life. That’s relationships.”

“Don’t tell me what life and relationships are, Clarke. I get it. But I can’t make the past 3 years magically disappear for you to feel better. It doesn’t work that way.”

“Well how does it work?”

“I don’t know. Just stay with me now.”

“I can’t.”

“Well then I guess it doesn’t.”

“I’m not leaving you, Lex.”

“You are.”

“I just need time.”

“Time.” Lex jumped up, “are you fucking kidding me Clarke?”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t mean to say that.”

“What did you mean then?”

Lexa started to get dressed herself throwing together her outfit as she stared down Clarke.

“I mean we have…”

“You know what don’t. You are right this isn’t going to work.”

“Lex.”

“Take all the time you need Clarke. And know when I say that I mean, we are done.”

Lexa walked out of the room. Clarke dropped back into the bed and the tears dropped as she clenched her jaw to keep from screaming. She heard Lexa and Raven yelling from the living room. She couldn’t deal with any of this. She grabbed the pillow covered her face and screamed.

\+ + +

Lexa walked into the living room with tunnel vison on the door to leave. But as she crossed Raven sitting with her legs propped up on the coffee table with a bowl of Lucky Charms, she heard Raven speak up, “How’d it go?”

“Fuck off!’

“So not well?”

“I’m not talking to you about it.” Lexa said as she swung open the door.

“Nothing new then.” Raven bit back.

Lexa turned around slamming the door, “You know what, she wants me to talk to you. Why not? Let’s talk, Raven.”

Raven simply put her legs on the ground leaning forward waiting for Lexa to speak.

“You were a shit friend and I can’t forgive you for that. And you are the only person who never even reached out. Not a sorry I fucked up text, nothing, just ignored it and ignored me.”

“I knew it wouldn’t do any good, Lexa. You have your story. And that’s fine.”

“My story?” Lexa huffed.

“Yeah, your story. And I did want to reach out Lex, but I also know you. I know that you would only talk to me when you wanted. I know everyone else pushed you to chat to Octavia or Clarke, but you didn’t do any of that because of them. You do what you want, when you want, Lex. You always do.”

“You know me? You know me so well? Well why the fuck didn’t you know I didn’t cheat on Clarke?”

“Fine, you are right I knew you. I knew you before you dropped me. Before you forgot everything we went through.”

“What was I supposed to do? Be ok that you chose Clarke over me? We're a bitch to me. I know you two got real close, but fuck Raven I was your best friend. You should have been there for me.”

“Fuck that I wasn't always a bitch I overstepped, yes, but I didn't spend three years putting you down like you paint it, I was drunk that night and a bitch, but that was one time and yeah there were too many times, and that sucks. But you know what, I tried to be there for you. I didn’t just say, oh Clarke you are right Lexa is awful. I tried to get her to talk to you. I tried to understand what happened. But you never called me or answered my calls. And you never denied it. And let’s be clear, you dropped me before this. I would have been there for you too. I would have stood by you if you came to me. Let me in. But no. But I saw Clarke. She let me in. And turns out she was insecure and wrong and yeah, I latched on to her anger. Because I was so angry at you. I am still angry with you.”

“You are still angry with me? You were angry with me? That’s rich! For what?”

“You abandoned me Lex. Let’s not act like this was the other way around. You went silent on me. Why wouldn’t I think you were with Ontari? You had only ever gone quiet on me before when you were fucking up.”

“Fuck that, I was a teenager. That was different.”

“Ok fine, but why then? Why did you drop me? I wasn’t just your best friend, Lex. Fuck I was your sister. It was me! Not Anya. Me!”

“I didn’t drop you Raven. My life was falling apart. It was too much, the tour, Clarke. And you Raven, you were finally happy. You and Anya had just gotten together and”

“We’re you jealous my life was finally working out?”

“No Raven, I was so happy for you. After everything, that’s all I ever wanted for you and I didn’t want you to have to deal with me. I wanted you just to be happy. You didn’t need me then.”

“But I did. And the thing is I wanted to be there for you. Like you were for me. Friends are supposed to see you in your shit times too, Lex. I was supposed to be the one you talk to not Ontari.”

“Ah yes, Ontari. Everyone is jealous of Ontari. I made one friend outside of this fucked up friend group and everyone blows their shit!”

“Oh for fucks sake, Lexa. Do you hear anything anyone says to you? Or are you still so set on being the victim like you accuse Clarke? You could have reached out. You could have been honest. You did have three years. You could have said Clarke your accusations are fucked up and no, I did not cheat. We all would have believed you Lex. I mean look how quickly we did once you said it. But you didn’t. What would we go on? And yes you know what I was a bitch to you. And I am sorry. I am so sorry. But I am so mad. And as far as Anya goes you don’t know everything that goes on in other’s relationships. Just like I didn’t know between you and Clarke. Just cause Anya isn’t like you, she isn’t going to put me on blast in public, that isn’t how she works. But she wasn’t ok with me and we weren’t ok. Ok? Does that make you happy? She did stand up for you. But you know I told her that it really was none of her business. Because you were my family too Lex and she couldn’t tell me how to behave with my family.”

“I’m not your family, Raven. Let’s be clear about that.”

“Fuck you Lexa. I was a bitch to you and I know you are trying to bring it back ten-fold.” Raven said, “But you can’t change our history. And you can’t wash everything away. I get it we aren’t friends. But we are family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may double post today as I did break up one chapter into two. Most of the next chapter is finished, but may need a few additions.


	8. New Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a double post day. So if you haven't read the other chapter. You may want to step back a chapter.
> 
> Lexa and Clarke after....

Lexa and Bellamy stared at the screen as a trumpet player bolted out the jazz rhythm. Bellamy couldn’t concentrate on the tv with the rant that Lexa had let go on him about the events of the morning. He was surprised when Lexa reached out to him and asked to talk. No, he was more than surprised that Lexa wanted to talk, so he willingly left a brunch with Echo and her friends letting them know he had an emergency to attend to.

“So just to be clear you slept with her promising to talk, and then she brings up the big F and then she said, that you need to fix this part of your relationship because it would fester and explode and then she mentioned basically the same thing a minute later and it festered and exploded.”

“Yes, Bellamy. I am aware of that. Thank you for your help.”

“I just wanted to be clear.”

‘Clear as day.”

“And then you couldn’t stop at her, you..”

“Yes, Bellamy I flipped on Raven too.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t plan to do anything. I am going to sit here and finish this beer.”

“Solid plan. A plus. Top notch.”

“I try.”

“Lexa.”

“Bell.

“You told her you were done and you think sitting there drinking your beer is a solid plan?”

“Yup.”

“Do you want to be done?”

“Who cares what I want, Bell.”

The pair sat in silence for a moment continuing to watch the jazz documentary with Lexa tapping out beats on her knees.

“Fester, fester, fester. Kaboom!”

“What are you doing Bellamy?”

“What are you doing, Lexa?”

“I’m sitting in an upside-down world where Bellamy fucking Blake is my best friend and I am talking to him about my massive blow-ups with my ex.. well… whatever the fuck Clarke is to me and my ex-best friend who turns out wasn’t forever. Who knew? But don’t worry I only have a stupid tattoo to commemorate one of them, so things could be worse. I think I deserve just to sit back, relax, and have a beer. Sound good?”

“Well, when you put it that way.”

‘Yup.”

One minute later…

“Lex, did anyone ever tell you, you have a way with words?”

“A time or two.”

Five minutes later…

“Wait a tattoo?”

“Shush Bellamy.”

“I thought I had seen all your tattoos. Tell me you didn’t get Clarke tatted on your itty bits.”

“Itty bits? Ewww and no!”

Ten minutes later…

“Oh my God, that stupid bird tattoo is a raven!”

“I will kill you Bellamy! Don’t tempt me.”

\+ + +

Clarke was done crying. She was done feeling confused. Now she was angry. She jumped out of bed, grabbed a jacket and was ready to roll out after Lexa, when Raven grabbed her arm.

“Clarke, you need to think before you run after her.”

“Raven stay out of it.”

“I can’t because she is right. No matter what was happening between us at the time I should have had her back. And that doesn’t mean choosing her over you. But it does mean thinking about what she needs too. And right now the Lexa who left here. She doesn’t need this Clarke.”

“Well, right now I don’t care what she needs.”

“Yes you do.”

“No, she told me last night meant something to her. She told me we were together. And two seconds later she was done. Because I said the wrong word. That's shit. She used me. And I am not going to roll over and take that.”

“Clarke, you can’t honestly think Lexa of all people used you for sex?” Raven continued, “I mean you are a catch, but she could get any hot body.”

“Oh wonderful, thanks for the pep talk Raven.”

“But she wanted you. And you know I should have told you this three years ago. I should have known then that Lexa would never cheat on you. But I can’t change that. But what I can do is tell you that you are going to mess this up worse than it already is.”

“What the fuck do you know Raven?” Clarke asked as she opened the door.

“Apparently not a whole heck of a lot, but Clarke, don’t go after her now.”

“Just wait around? Hope she will forgive me? Like you? Lot of good that did you Raven.”

Clarke said as she shut the door behind her.

\+ + +

Heavy knocking on the door had Bellamy and Lexa moving their head to the door.

Lexa looked at Bellamy with surprise, “Bellamy go check.”

“You check.”

“You are the big bad man who can protect me.”

“I don’t get paid to be your bodyguard. No thank you. No stalkers for me.”

“Fuck off and check. All you have to do is wobble over to the camera and ignore it or let the person in if they aren’t a crazy stalker.”

“Fine, but don’t get used to me being your unpaid butler either.”

“Noted, bro.”

Bellamy crossed over to the heavy steal door of the warehouse and checked the screen on the door.

“Yup, it may just be a crazy stalker,” he said as he opened the door and an enraged Clarke walked straight into the warehouse living space with Bellamy following from a distance.

“Fuck you, Lexa!”

“From what I heard, you already did that.” Bellamy said.

“Bellamy, what are you even doing here? Why are you always here? Don’t you have a girlfriend or a job anymore?’

“Well, I am Lex’s therapist it seems.”

Lexa shouts from the couch, “Surprised you didn’t jump to the conclusion that I fucked Bellamy too.”

“Good, she needs a therapist!”

Lexa jumped up coming to Clarke, “Why are you here, Clarke?”

“Because you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to use me and fuck off.”

“I did not use you!”

Bellamy looked between Clarke and Lexa wondering if he should step in, _nah_, he thought.

“You know I do have a girlfriend I could be hanging out with, so I am going to go ahead and do that. Clarke, Lexa, lovely as ever. You kids have fun.” He said as he left the warehouse.

“You know Clarke you should go too. I am not doing this.” Lexa said as she turned around.

Clarke ran after her, grabbing her shoulder and turning Lexa around to face her.

“Fuck that. You got to have your say. You got to tell us off. Well it’s my turn Lex, because you aren’t the fucking victim you are portraying yourself as, and I am tired too. I am tired of pretending that my massive fuck-up means I have to put up with you not addressing things, that I have to ignore all the fucking signs you put out that you and Ontari did have an inappropriate relationship.”

“I did not have an inappropriate relationship Clarke! How the fuck are we back here? I DID NOT cheat on you.”

“You didn’t fuck her, no, but..”

“But what?”

“You don’t think you were out of line?”

“Out of line?!? How the fuck was I out of line?”

“You practically had an emotional affair Lex!”

“Oh so since you couldn’t get the physical affair to stick, you are just going to throw this bullshit out, so you can be the good guy again.”

“Fuck Lex, there are no good guys! And I didn’t want to be the good guy this time around, I only wanted to be with you. And I, I don’t know, suddenly you didn’t cheat and things changed, and then I was so happy you were giving me the time of day that I let it go that you wouldn’t talk about it. But I never thought you would use me like that.”

“And how the fuck did I use you? How are you going to paint that now?”

“Lexa, you just fucked me and then promptly fucked off.”

“That’s not on me. You can’t expect me to turn a switch and forgive that. Especially when it seems you can’t even admit there is anything you need forgiven for. But I wanted to be with you. I wanted you to stay. I wanted to stay with you.”

“No, you wanted to do what we have been doing for the past three months, hell what we have been doing for the past three years. Ignore everything. Including me being ignoring the fact that you weren’t going to be okay with me all of a sudden. And how would you know if I can admit it, you didn’t ever let me talk about it. I wanted to talk about how I let us down. I knew we should have talked before we had sex. I knew you just wanted the easy part, that you’d rather pretend everything was fine. Funny since you have been screaming about honesty and being so tired of pretending.”

“I wasn’t pretending. I just wanted to move on!”

“We can’t move on like that.”

“And why not? Who wrote this rule book?”

“Lex, it’s not healthy. We’re not healthy.”

“Great Clarke, I get it. Why are you here then?”

“Because Lex, I am so mad at you. But I love you. And old habits die hard.”

“So I am an old habit? That you can’t just let go?”

“Fuck Lexa! Why is this so hard? No, you aren’t the old habit. The old habit is this. It’s me running after you without a game plan, me asking for time when that is the furthest from what I really want. The truth is I still want you, Lex. I still love you, Lex. I just want to build new habits with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummm….. I feel like Clarke is going to get it in the comments... but Raven?


	9. Lex, take a leap.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter... but I think some important steps happen.

Lexa stepped away from Clarke moving back to the living area and sitting down on the center of the couch with a thud. Raising her arms up to her head she rubbed her hands over her eyes and whispered, “Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn’t it? But we can’t do this anymore.”

Clarke followed with the anger drained from her, she sat on the coffee table directly in front of Lexa, reaching forward and putting her hands-on Lexa’s knees.

“Can we try, Lex?”

Lexa let her hands fall down resting on top of Clarke’s.

“Clarke, I want nothing more than to tell you yes. To go back to last night and pretend that we can be ok together.”

“Then tell me yes.”

“But Clarke, you are right about one thing, we can’t move forward like that. I think this morning and this, this just now, shows us that.” Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes, “I want to be clear Clarke that I didn’t use you, I wanted you so much, I wanted us so much.”

Clarke began to tear up, “But you don’t now?”

“Stupidly, I still do. But I just can’t.”

“Lexa,”

“Clarke, it’s not…”

“Can you just let me talk? Can I have a say!”

“Clarke, that’s not. That’s not what’s happening anymore. I have been so angry. I am still so angry. But we can’t only be talking when we are angry. This this isn’t working and I, well, I can’t make it work now. I want to build new habits with you, I want to be healthy with you.”

“Then let’s do that. Let’s figure it out together.”

“Clarke, I know I am going to sound like a hypocrite, but I really do need time.”

Clarke lowered her head, not taking her hands away from Lexa, but unwilling to look at her.

“Clarke, I love you and I want us to be together. But starting now from here, it will just end in heartbreak again. And if we give this another go, I want it to last. I want you to be it for me. And from where we are, I don’t see that happening.”

Lexa lifted Clarke’s chin gently, so she was looking into her soft blue eyes.

“I’m tired of hurting. I’m tired of hurting each other.”

“I get it.” Clarke whispered softly, ‘But there is still hope for us, right?”

Lexa shed a tear as she nodded yes to Clarke then moved her hand forward reaching gently into her hair as she moved towards Clarke and placed a soft whisper of a kiss on Clarke’s lips. She pulled back to see Clarke’s eyes shimmering with tears, before Clarke leaned forward with a firm kiss of her own. Then Clarke pulled back and stood up from the coffee table, slowly letting go of Lexa’s intertwined hand.

“See you Clarke.”

“Yeah, see you around Lexa,” Clarke said as she walked away.

\+ + +

Lexa had hibernated for the week. Only putting up with Bellamy and Echo stopping by the warehouse, but she ignored texts and calls from everyone else, even Lincoln and Luna. She was tired and wanted to recoil into her own world for a bit. She had picked up her guitar and started to sing some, but had spent more time on the couch watching documentaries and eating take out. She was on the couch with her Thai take-out when Bellamy, Echo, Octavia, and Lincoln strolled in.

“Ummm hello? Just let yourselves in I guess.”

“Ah yes, thanks for the key by the way.” Bellamy said as he jumped over the couch to sit a bit too close to her and gave her a giant kiss on her cheek.

“Get the fuck off me.”

“Ahhh, sad Lexa no love Bellamy.”

“You truly are an asshole.”

“He is.” Echo said as she sat down beside Bellamy reaching for Lexa’s food and began eating.

“Yes, please help yourself.”

Octavia plopped down on the other side of Lexa, “Hey Bell, it’s a Blake sandwich.”

“Wouldn’t it be a Lexa sandwich?” Lincoln asked as he sat on the recliner.

“Umm no Blake obviously.”

“But you are the bread, it makes no sense.”

“Octavia, your boy is ruining it.” Bellamy said.

“You all are ruining it.” Lexa muttered, “To what do I owe the pleasure, Lincoln?”

“We are going out.”

“Nah. I’m good.”

“Nope, nope, nope, I already put a call into Gustus and he will be meeting us outside in 20 minutes, so get ready, it’s go time.” Bellamy chimed in.

“I’ll bill you all then. Enjoy the ride.”

“Funny, Lex. Gustus hates us! We need you.” Octavia said.

“Oh well thank you for the invite then.”

“Ahh Lex,” Bellamy said as he ruffled her hair, “Get your stanky lil heartbroken self up, we are going to go have fun and dance our worries away.”

“Dancing, nah.”

“Lexxxxa.” Echo said drawing out her name, “you wouldn’t want to skip out on supporting a friend would you? I’ll be DJing for an hour and I really would like you to be there.”

Lexa stared at Echo, “Fine, but I am leaving right after you're up.”

“Great!” Bellamy said as he slapped his hands down on Lexa and Echo’s thighs and pushed himself up.

“Owe! Fuck!” Lexa shouted, as both her and Echo shoved Bellamy.

“Feisty, I like it.” Bellamy grinned, “now go get ready, Lex!”

\+ + +

Surprisingly, Lexa was enjoying herself. She was just relaxing with her friends in an upper balcony VIP area away from everyone and everything. She felt like she didn’t have a care in the world listening to the heavy pop beats. It was nice to dance with friends with no drama, just dancing, no one pushing her or her pushing herself, just music.

Lexa decided not to leave right after Echo’s time. She wanted this feeling to last. So she ordered another drink from the cocktail waitress and sat back on the leather seats by Lincoln, as Bellamy and Octavia went downstairs to congratulate Echo.

“How ya doing, Lex?”

“Doing.” She smiled.

“Yeah, but you know you can talk to me if you need to right. I’m not just Octavia’s boyfriend. I was your friend first and well we’ve been through a lot together.”

“Yeah, I know. I just haven’t really wanted to talk Lincoln. But this this is nice.” Lexa said as she motioned around her.

“Yeah it is.”

The waitress strolled back over leaving drinks for Lincoln and Lexa, which they accepted with polite smiles and thank yous.

“Do you miss being in it? Because tonight felt great. I felt I don’t know like I was wrapped up in the music. God that’s lame… but it’s been a while.”

“Lex, we needed a break...”

“I know and I’m not saying we didn’t.”

“You know, I’ve been meaning to bring this up with you. Luna and I have.”

“Listen, I am sorry I didn’t respond to you this week.”

“Lex, don’t worry. I get it. But, I was thinking of taking a longer break and I don’t think Luna would be opposed either.”

“Yeah? You want that?” Lexa looked confusingly at Lincoln.

“Lex, I know you’ve had chances to be on your own and to do your own thing.”

“Yeah, but I’m not going to leave you all hanging.”

“We know that and now, well I think and I know you never asked me, but I think you should take that chance. It’s your turn, Lex.”

“You think I should?”

“Yeah, Lex, take a leap. Go to LA, get away, record, see what comes of it.”

Lexa took a drink, “But I have things here and you guys..”

“Lexa, I think it’s time you put yourself first. Maybe getting away and having something to look forward to makes that easier.”

Lexa takes her drink and raises it to cheers Lincoln, “Yeah, I think you may be right.”


	10. So that’s a no?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and friends, Lexa and friend, a chapter was born.

Bellamy and Echo stopped by Clarke and Raven’s place to gather up prior to going out to Clarke’s gallery for her art opening. The show had been three months in the making with the majority of the footwork done in the day, so she was ready to unwind and enjoy the fruits of her labor. Octavia and Lincoln were running late and Anya was out of town, so it was the first time in quite a while that Bellamy hung out with Clarke and Raven without the group. Bellamy and Echo brought a bottle of wine for a pre-soiree loosening up with the strange dynamic. Bellamy stood in the kitchen opening the bottle of wine, while Echo got out the wine bottles, familiar with the place from gatherings.

“She’s been spending a lot of time with that girl. Do you think they’re dating? I know they had a thing going and..”

“Clarke.” Raven interrupted

“I know. I know. Insta-stalking is a no-no and it’s none of my business if they are. She is free to do as she wants.”

“And…”

“And even if it were my business, Lexa is perfectly capable of maintaining a friendship and drawing lines.”

“Good girl,” Raven said.

Echo jumps in handing Raven and Clarke a glass of wine, “now that you’ve done all that good work there, I’ll let you in on a secret, they’re not dating. I mean there is a possibility they are bumping uglies, but no relationship a bump makes.”

“You’re weird. Has anyone told you that?” Raven jumped in.

“Meh, I’ve been called worse things by better people.” Echo shrugged.

“Fair enough.” Raven said.

Bellamy sits down on the recliner arm by Echo and hands her a glass of wine, “Hey Raven.”

“Hey Bellamy.”

“So I was thinking…”

“Always a good idea.”

“I mean maybe not because it involved a lot of referencing one particular night…”

“Oh lord! Your girlfriend is right here!”

“I know you banged. And personally, I think he did good. Little above his pay grade, but I am too. Always aim high.”

“You are very weird.”

“Yeah, so back to the matter at hand. So turns out Lexa’s bird tattoo is…”

“Nope.”

“Nope, no tattoo?”

“Nope, not discussing it.”

Clarke looks at Raven, “Wait? You got a tattoo too? Lexa always said you wimped out.”

“Wimped out! Please, I can take pain.”

“Soooo that means you do have a tattoo.” Clarke said.

“Nope. Nope. Nope.” Raven said as she shook her head.

“Raven,” Clarke said as Echo, Bellamy, and her looked at Raven expectantly, “You have to show us.”

“It’s not happening, because it never happened.”

“It’s not like a full portrait tattoo, is it? Cause that would be next level…”

“No, it’s not a portrait tattoo! You would have noticed a portrait tattoo!” Raven defended.

“Ah-ha! So there is a tattoo.”

“Nope.”

“Alright, well we are just going to have to call Lexa.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Raven said as Clarke went quiet.

“It’s fine. She’s fine.” Echo jumped in seriously.

“Well, if you’re sure, I mean inquiring minds do want to know.” Clarke added.

“Oh we are sure.” Bellamy said as he dialed Lexa’s number and put it on speaker. Raven jumped up to grab the phone and was ready to press end when Lexa answered.

“Hi Bellamy.”

“Umm yeah so it’s Raven actually.”

“Oh hey. Umm you know you don’t have to call me from Bellamy’s phone. I’ll answer if you call.”

Raven stopped looking down at the phone uncertainly giving Bellamy the chance to grab it away.

“No, it’s Bellamy, Echo and Clarke actually.” Bellamy shouted.

“Umm ok, hi Bellamy, Echo, and Clarke.”

“Hey.” Clarke said.

“Anyways, so we wanted you to solve a mystery for us.”

“I’ll try to help.”

“So, what’s Raven’s Lexa tattoo?”

Lexa began to laugh. “Oh man, oh well you see, it’s a long story.”

“Ahh it’s going to be a good one.” Bellamy said as he wrapped his arm around Raven’s shoulder, “Ray-Ray, I cannot wait.”

“But the thing is, we took a blood oath.”

“What?”

“Yup, I can’t tell.”

“Oh bullshit.”

“Nope, my lips are sealed.”

“A blood oath? Who even does that?”

“Raven and Lexa apparently. And I’m the weirdo?” Echo replied.

“You are!” Raven and Lexa shouted at the same time.

“Well, it’s always a pleasure, but I am actually at a party, so I better not be rude.”

“Oh yes, Lex you mustn’t be rude.” Bellamy replied.

“Alright, Echo, Clarke, Raven have a wonderful night. Bellamy you do you.”

A round of byes before Bellamy ended the call.

“Well that was a bust.” Bellamy said as he sat down on the couch by Clarke.

“She sounded good.”

“She is good.” Bellamy added.

“I’m happy for her. I am happy she is happy.”

“She is.”

“Do you think she is happier without me? Am I?’

“No Clarke, I mean yeah for a while. I mean I wasn’t close with her then, but she really was happy with you.”

“Before I went a bit..”

“Crazy?”

“Yeah, that.”

“Even after, Clarke. She was always happy to see you, even when it was hard and awkward.”

“Yeah, I’m hoping we can get back to that.”

“You can, just give it time and you know well..”

Raven plopped down, “Don’t go all full-throttle.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that, then?”

“Ummm…. Because I did.”

“Ok well next-time, call Octavia up and have her stop me, cause you obviously aren’t tough enough.”

“I’m not tough?”

“I think you could take Octavia in a fight.” Echo said.

“Nah, I got O.” Bellamy said.

“I’ll take that bet.”

“Deal.”

“We aren’t going to fight.” Raven said.

“Hey Clarke, what does Lexa do that gets you all seeing red and muaaah I Clarke? Cause we have to get O to get Raven in fighting form.”

Clarke threw her pillow in Bellamy’s face, “How does Lexa even deal with you?”

“Well you see back when y’all were like hey cheater, I was like hey friend, and she was like let’s chill. So we did and a friendship bloomed. Out of the ashes a beautiful phoenix of friendship rose. »

“You are the worst.” Clarke and Lexa both said.

“Speaking of phoenixes, Raven, you think Lexa will get a silly bird tattoo for me too?”

“Ugh!” Raven said as she threw a pillow at Bellamy too.

“You’re going to spill my wine assholes!”

\+ + +

Lexa was at the house of her record producer for a bonfire on the beach. She had snuck away to take Bellamy’s call, but had been enjoying the surprisingly relaxed atmosphere. Jasper was a young hotshot producer and quite the character, who unsurprisingly attracted a very interesting crowd. She had initially thought that she would skip out on the party, until Maya dragged her along claiming she needed the ride as her car is in shop, because apparently Ubers or car service weren’t suitable for Maya. She had taken an instant liking to Maya when she first came into the studio bearing coffee and a soft smile three months back.

Lexa was taken aback when someone ran up behind her linking arms with her, “Lexa, you coming with us tomorrow?” Maya asked.

“Yeah, I think I will. I’ve been in the studio so much, I think a bit of a break would be fun.”

“Awesome, I can pick you up.”

Lexa eyed her suspiciously.

“I mean obviously after I pick up my car from the mechanic’s.”

“Yeah, obviously after that.”

“Anyways… It’s going to be a killer hike, you much of a hiker?”

“Yeah, I used to hike Mt Weather with Clarke quite a bit.”

“With Clarke.” Maya winked.

“Cute.”

“I knew you thought so, Lex. A lot of gals would like to get a piece of this.”

“You are aware, you’re straight right? And have a boyfriend? Who might I add I work with.”

“Lexa, life only gives you so many chances and sometimes you take a chance.”

“That is the weirdest take on sexuality, I have ever heard.”

“It’s a spectrum, Lexa. And my spectrum is men and hot rock stars.”

“Ah yes, the spectrum, well as cute as you are my spectrum is women...”

“Check.”

“who aren’t straight.”

“Spectrum, Lex.”

“And no cheating.”

“Boooring.”

“And Maya,”

“Yes Lexa?”

“It’s generally frowned upon for straight girls to hit on their gay friends or vice versa.”

“It’s a spectrum, Lexa. I can’t help it I am at 99.9% men and you are my .1%.”

“Why do I always make the worst friends, wherever I go?”

“So that’s a no?”

“That is most definitely a no.”

“Ok then, let’s go have Jello shots like we are drunken sorority girls.”

“Are you still trying to get in my pants? Because that was the game plan of a lot of experimenting straight girls back in the day.”

“No Lex, I am not in the habit of taking advantage of drunk girls.”

“But if we aren’t happening… I make an excellent wing man.”

“Are you going to, So have you met Ted me, cause I don’t need it.”

“Maybe lay off the lame sitcoms and I am aware you don’t need any help from me.”

“I like sitcoms.”

“Ever PA for a sitcom star? Believe me they can be bigger assholes than rock stars.”

“I’m not an asshole.”

“It’s a spectrum.”

Lexa pushed Maya away, “Maya, I think I liked you better when you were Jasper’s sweet and quiet girlfriend.”

“If that’s your kink, Lex. That’s your kink, but if what you told me about Clarke is right, I think your into…”

“Shush.”

Maya raises her hand and zips her lips, “Now as much as I love squirreling away with you, let’s go have fun with Jasper and his merry group of hooligans.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is like 100% fluff, 75% filler, and 0% the chapter I sat down to write. But I enjoyed writing it, so you better enjoy reading it. :-) We may have an extra chapter or two to come now.
> 
> Edit: so I did change the chapter count to 18. :-)


	11. No, I mean, yes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and friends. Lexa and friends. Clarke and Lexa?

Clarke’s show was going well. The space was smaller than a lot of galleries, but Clarke could say she was proud of every single piece. At first, she was a little reluctant to do a full show with only her work at the gallery, but it felt right. And after the time she has had of late, her work was a great distraction. Everything was funneled into her art. And once the paintings were complete, everything was funneled into getting ready. As she grabbed a champagne glass and looked at the large panel covering her largest wall, she couldn't help but putting on a large goofy smile.

Echo walked up next to her, “You know Clarke, Lexa said you were extremely talented, but I thought that was just you know the love colored glasses talking.”

“She mentioned my work to you?”

“Yeah, she mentioned a bit about you here and there.” Echo said as she chuckled.

“I thought she just pretended like I didn’t exist.”

“Ha! You two are funny. As if Lexa could pretend you don’t exist.”

Clarke smiled.

“I wish she was here.”

“She will be.” Echo said, “but I am now and listen while I am with your friend and off the table, I am just as hot as Lexa, if I do say so myself and I think I’d make excellent eye candy for you to have on your arm. So what do you say, we go charm the pants of these people?”

“I would love that,” Clarke said as she wrapped her arm around Echo and guided her to a group drinking champagne.

The show was done. But the whole gang stuck around to enjoy the moment with her. There was more champagne left, so Bellamy popped another bottle, Echo put on a few tracks, and the gallery turned into an impromptu dance club. Lincoln and Bellamy decided a dance off was in order, Finn was dancing with a laughing Octavia reminiscing about the days she crushed on him, and Monty and Raven were having an animated discussion about whether robot overlords may be better than the current system.

Echo walked over to Clarke, “May I have this dance?”

“Nah, I’m alright.”

“Nope, we dance.”

“Nah, I’d just like to...”

“You know Lexa didn’t want you to sit around and not enjoy things or your friends. This is your big day and you should be having the most fun.”

“I’m having fun.”

“Okay, but are you having Lincoln-Bellamy dance off fun? Come on, nobody puts baby in a corner." Echo said as she dramatically put out her hand to Clarke, "Alright, but we aren't doing any lifts."

"Ok, but we are doing dirty dancing?" Echo said as she wiggled her eye brows.

\+ + +

Lexa woke up early after the party. She felt great and wasn’t hung over from a party for the first time in a while. In fact, she hadn’t partied much in LA and was content to relax and enjoy getting to know this new group of people. She didn’t drink it up like normal, instead watching Maya jump around. It really was amazing how her friend opened up around people she was comfortable with and Lexa felt privileged that she quickly became one of those people for Maya. And as promised Maya picked her up bright and early for their hike seeming like she hadn’t drank a drop last night. She had ended up hiking up the path with Jasper when a few people forged ahead at quick pace or lagged behind them constantly distracted by bugs, plants, and each other. Lexa enjoyed Jasper’s company, he was quirky like Maya, but had a passion Lexa could appreciate.

“Hey Lexa, I was wondering if you wanted to hit up our Sunday services tomorrow?”

“Look Jasper, you're great…”

“But she’s not going to your cult.” Maya said as she caught up with Lexa and Jasper.

“It’s not a cult!”

Lexa and Maya eyed one another.

“Uh huh.”

“Then why do you come, Maya?”

“Entertainment value? Inspiration for characters? Morbid curiosity? Food?”

“To support your boyfriend?” Lexa added with a questioning look.

“I mean sure that too.” Maya added.

“It’s just really chill and I think it would be good for you right now.”

“That’s how they get you, Lex, be careful,”

“We are not a cult!”

“Then why you trying to get your hitches into a celebrity? Sound familiar, Lex?”

“Oh come on, you’d have fun and we are having…”

“Lex, run! Before he lures you in with food!” Maya yells as she grabs Lexa’s arm and pulls her forward.

“Fine that’s fine, I’d rather have some peace and quiet for once anyways. You two go hike ahead!” Jasper yelled after them.

“Ahh, don’t worry, Miller and Bryan are slow pokes too.” Maya said with an exaggerated air kiss.

Lexa yanked her hand away from Maya’s with exaggerated emphasis. “How does he put up with you?”

“My dad has connections. I’m useful. I thought that is why you put up with me too.”

“All the connections in the world could not make me hang out with you.”

“Ahh so you do it because you like me? 

”I do actually. I find you oddly endearing. And you’re just the kind of friend I need right now.”

Awww. That’s sweet. See sharing isn’t so tough. You should try it with Clarkie poo.”

“I am not sure why I tell you things.”

“I lured you in with my doe eyes and shyness.”

“Why aren’t you still shy?”

“You let the genie out of the bottle, Lex, it’s what you get.”

“But I don’t get any wishes granted.”

“I mean if you wish the right thing, I can make it happen.” Maya said with a wink.

Lexa shoves Maya off the path where she overdramatically falls and runs ahead, “I’m going to hang with Harper. At least she doesn’t hit on me.”

Maya gets up wiping her pants, “That’s assault. I said I had connections! You better watch yourself!”

\+ + +

Clarke walked into the gallery in the late afternoon, extremely grateful for her assistant Aden arriving earlier to clean the mess and run the gallery for the day. And sitting right on her desk was a big goofy bouquet of flowers that could only come from one person.

“Impressive, Clarke. What all were you up to last night?” Aden asked.

“Shush only good clean fun. And speaking of that, you may want to have a look at the backroom.” 

“Oh great! The front didn't take long enough.” Aden said as he headed towards the back.

“That’s why I pay you the big bucks, buddy.” Clarke yelled after him. “Eww too loud.”

Clarke grabbed the card from the flowers,

_Clarke, _

_You amaze me (Don’t worry in a good way.)_

_Congratulations! _

_Love, Lex_

She smiled brightly, sat down the card, and thought _why not_, as she picked up the phone and pressed two.

“Hello.”

“Hey Lex, I hope I’m not bothering you, I just well I wanted to thank you for the flowers. And frankly I was a bit tired of waiting to talk. And I may be a bit tired and hungover from last night. I’m so sorry is this a bad time to call. Is this a bad time? I can let you go.”

“Why hello Clarke.”

“Hi.”

“And you’re welcome. I may not be there and things are what they are, but I am still proud of you and I wanted you to know that.”

“Well thank you, it well, it really means a lot to me. And as much as I love the flowers, maybe you could be there at the next one.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Like maybe maybe or I don’t want to say no and hurt her feelings maybe?”

“I told you I wasn’t going to lie to not hurt your feelings Clarke, I mean maybe.”

“Thank you.”

“You are thanking me for hurting your feelings?”

“No, I mean, yes?”

“God, when did we get so weird?”

“I’ve been weird since I first asked you out. Don’t act surprised.”

“You didn’t ask me out.”

“What? Lexa are you drunk? Like cause I’m tired, but I remember.”

“No, you don’t because that never happened. I asked you out at Lincoln’s party.”

“What? No! I clearly asked you out at that stupid festival thing we all went to with the mimes.”

“Mimes? What? How do you remember that?”

“Because I mimed it. It was super cute. You laughed. And you nodded yes back.”

“I laughed because I had no clue what you were doing. And the yes nod was to make you stop whatever that was.”

“What? So, you sayin’, how bout we go to Mt Weather, "Clarke said in a dopey voice, "was you asking me out?” she asked as she laughed.

“Yeah and what’s so funny about that?”

“Well when I thought it was a suggestion for our first date it was fine. But now that I know that you were asking me out. Like wow! A little effort would be nice. I thought you had game.”

“I do have game and there was effort. I just didn’t want to make it a thing.”

“But I went all out with the miming. We had a cute story. And now you ruined it with a casual hey so question.”

“I did not ruin it. Your story is weird. Mime? Why? And how would you even mime that. Of course, I didn’t understand you.”

“Oh come on, it was spot on.”

Aiden returned to the front and Clarke pointed to her phone and walked to the back where she continued to chat with Lexa and Clarke about the beginning of their relationships and silly moments, eventually moving on to Clarke’s show, Lexa’s recording, how their friends were doing, and Lexa’s life in LA, her hike in the morning. When one name was mentioned repeatedly, Clarke decided _to hell with it_ and blurted out, “Lexa, are you seeing her?”

“Clarke.”

“No, it’s not like that. I’m not going down that road again. I promise. Well, I promised myself really. I’m not going to lie it will hurt but I just want to know if that’s the route you want to go. And if it is, I’ll be a grown up about it and find a way to support you.”

“Oh yeah you a grown up? Hmmm.” Lexa said with a slight laugh.

“Lex?”

“Clarke, I’m not seeing anyone right now. That’s not the route I want to take.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean are you seeing anyone? You can of course, I never wanted you to think you had to wait for me or anything like I’m not like..”

“Lex, I’m not seeing anyone.”

“Good. Cause honestly that’s not the route I want you to take either.”

“Yeah?” Clarke asked with a smile on her face.

‘Yeah.”

“So, would you like to maybe start taking the same route? I mean slowly. Like a 35 mile per hour scenic route Sunday drive kind of thing.”

“Not the German autobahn of no speed limit weaving in and out we were trying? Lexa asked with a chuckle.

“Nope, I’d like to enjoy the scenery this time around and talk a bit on the way.”

“Yeah, I think this route sounds nice.”

Clarke was quiet for a second before she said, “You know I miss this.” 

“What you making terrible metaphors?” Lexa asked.

“No, us just chatting on the phone just you know relaxed and easy.”

“It’s been a while hasn’t it. Like since before the tour that shall not be named.”

“Yeah since before a lot.”

“Maybe we should talk about why we stopped.”

“You’re ready for that?” Clarke asked with a hitch in her voice.

“Yes Clarke, I’m ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one. Will we get more fluff or return to angst.... who knows! I mean me obviously, but... :-)


	12. See you in a bit, baby.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Echo forces Clarke to party and well someone shows up....

Clarke was ready to thoroughly enjoy her night as a shut in. She had the couch, pair of yoga pants, a Trikru t-shirt, a bowl of popcorn, and Dirty Dancing playing on Netflix. Her plan was to enjoy Baby and Johnny being overly dramatic to help cut down on her own drama. Her phone blipped interrupting the essential “I carried a watermelon” scene.

Echo: Clarke, I am throwing a party. You’re coming.

Clarke: No, thanks.

Echo: Clarke, you are supposed to be having fun.

Clarke: We had fun last night! I’m good.

Echo: Oops, already sent Bell to get you. My bad.

Echo: See you in a bit, baby. ;-)

As soon as Clarke looked up from her phone, she heard a knock on the door. She walked over and opened the door to Bellamy with a wide smile. “I’ve been sent to bring you to fun times.”

“She just texted me!”

“I know. She just told me to knock.”

“When did I become your girlfriend’s pet project?” Clarke asked as she let Bellamy in.

“She took a shining to Lex, but I said hey back off, Lex is all mine. So she moved on to you.” Clarke sat down on the couch and Bellamy plopped down beside her.

“Can we switch? Can you be mine and she have Lex?”

“Swinging? Well, I never brought it up with Echo, but I mean she has mentioned Lexa is hot.”

“No! Swinging! No Lexa and Echo!” Clarke mocked outrage as she swung at Bellamy’s stomach.

“Ok, so you and me?”

“I thought we settled that years ago.”

Bellamy laughed. “No skin off my back, I already have enough to handle with Echo.”

“Seriously! I thought you were a lot.”

“I did too!”

“Ok, so where we going?”

“Actually, to Lexa’s place.”

“What? Echo is throwing a party at Lexa’s and Lexa is alright with that.”

“Echo is very charming. And Lexa is in an oddly good mood today. It’s worrying actually.”

“She is?” Clarke asked with a smile.

Bellamy laughed and put his arm around Clarke. “Ahhh, a little Clarkie have anything to do with it?”

“I mean I hope so a little. But I think she is enjoying LA this time around.”

“Yes, she is. But now let’s enjoy her place! You haven’t ever partied at the warehouse have you?”

“No, she had just bought it before everything and then she never invited me over. So aside from that time…”

“When you blew up and came in all red eyed and ragey…”

“Yeah, that.”

“Well, it makes a great party venue. Lexa set up a phenomenal sound system and you didn’t see it, because you know rage… but there is a kick ass stage area with a full band set up. She never really used it, but you know Echo wants to make good use of it. She will be DJing a bit even and she’s having over friends to play too. It’s going to be full on.”

“It’s not going to be weird. I feel weird.”

“We are all weird Clarke, of course it will be weird. But just come out and enjoy yourself.”

“Ok, fine.”

“Good, because if you didn’t Echo would harass you and send Gustus and he well, he still isn’t a fan of yours.”

“Why ever not?” Clarke asked with an eyebrow furl.

“Well, remember when you raged out on Lexa and got out of the car and insisted on walking and he had to drive the car following you at like 2 miles per hour and everyone was honking behind him and….”

“That was a rhetorical question Bellamy.”

“So you don’t want me to go on about how he is sort of salty that you broke his little Lexa’s heart.”

“Really, what is up with their relationship?”

“Well, like a lot of us her dad was shit and so she found a father figure and well…”

“Bellamy.”

“Yeah?’

“Rhetorical question.”

“Noted.”

\+ + +

Echo ran over to Clarke as soon as she got to the warehouse and dragged her towards the impromptu dance floor in front of the small stage with a full band performing. 

“Baby!! Come dance with me.”

“Could you stop calling me baby?” asked as she pulled away from where Echo was guiding her to the large group dancing.

“Nope. Let’s dance.”

“Bellamy is right over there.” she said pointing to where they came in.

“I’m not sure if you noticed last night, but Bellamy is a terrible dancer.”

“He really is, isn’t he?”

“Yes, now dance woman!”

“Fine, fine. But this is a mercy dance.”

“I’ll take it.” Echo said as she pulled Clarke out in front with her.

Echo never afraid of stepping over boundaries, instantly wrapped her arm around Clarke’s waste bringing her into her and bringing their bodies close together.

“You know you are a great dancer actually, Clarke.” Echo said as the pair swayed to the poppy song the band was playing.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Humble too.”

“Are any of us humble, Echo?”

“Good point.”

As the song ended and a harder rock beat began, Clarke stepped back from Echo and both looked at the stage.

“We mosh?” Echo asked.

But Clarke was distracted by the drummer.

“Is that?”

“Oh shit Clarke, I didn't even think about it.” Echo said standing closer to Clarke so she could hear her over the music.

Clarke swallowed as she looked straight ahead at the girl she last saw relaxing on Lexa’s hotel bed at 3am.

“Shit, Clarke I am sorry. I should have told you Ontari would be here.”

Clarke blinked her eyes and shook her head, “A heads up would have been nice.”

“I know. This is shitty. I mean she didn't do anything but I'm sorry. It wasn't intentional. She's in town right now and...”

“No, no, it’s not. It’s ok.”

“It is?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Ok.”

“I’d actually, well, do you think she’d be up for a chat?”

“Like a friendly chat or a warning chat?”

“Friendly, I mean she didn’t do anything wrong like you said and I mean it is hard to wrap my brain around the whole thing sure, but she is just a friend of a friend and an old friend of my, well, Lexa.”

“Look at you… that work last night wasn’t a show for Raven.”

“Shut up!”

“Fine, we mosh? And when Ontari is done beating the hell out of those drums, we’ll grab her for a drink.”

“Ok. We mosh!” Clarke said as she started jumping around making her blonde hair fly all over the place.

\+ + +

Ontari and Echo with two beers in each of their hands strolled over to where Clarke was sitting on Lexa’s couch. Echo handed Clarke a beer, “I come bearing beer and this one.”

Ontari put one beer on the table as she sat in the arm chair with her other beer taking a giant swallow. “Well you look good, Clarke. Much better than that shrieking, crying, hyena mess.”

“Thank you? I guess.”

“So what’s up? Echo here says you wanted to chat and it wasn’t to go all how did you put that, Echo?”

“Blonde Hotzilla.”

“What?”

“That was quality name, Clarke.” Echo said.

“And fairly accurate from my experience,” Ontari said as she clinked her beer with Echo’s.

“Fair enough, I actually wanted to I don’t really know. I just wanted to apologize for making assumptions about you and well I guess going Blonde Hotzilla on you for lack of a better term.”

“You like it.” Echo added.

“No sweat of my back. I was used to girl drama anyways. Luckily for me, mine is over.”

“Yeah, that Emori nonsense was a nightmare,” Echo said.

“Sometimes you have to know when to let go. Actually, Lexa was the one pushing me to rid myself of her.”

“She was?” Clarke couldn’t help but be curious.

“Yes, and before you assume…”

“I’m not. I know there was nothing between you and I well I may not have loved the amount of time you were spending together, but that's something her and I needed to discuss and I am seriously sorry for adding more drama to your life.”

“Ok well, from what I gathered from Lexa and your rage, y’all were in a bad spot. But Emori and I were a bad spot. And I did come to find out she really was cheating on me with Murphy.”

“Yikes.”

“Yeah, but Lex,” Ontari paused, “sorry, Lexa. Well she insisted the situation was fucked up and I need to break that shit of before it broke me. Never expected to outlast y’all. Especially the way she always went on and on about you. Clarke this and Clarke that.”

“She did?”

“Umm yeah.”

“Jesus Clarke, I haven’t even been around when y’all have been officially together and she talks about you just as much as you do about her. It’s honestly become quite boring.” Echo interjected.

“Right!” Ontari said, “Like we developed a great friendship as far as tour friendships go, but I mean damn. I wanted to chat about anything but how things were hard, but they would get better and you'd just have to make it through the tough times of the tour. And don’t get me started on this warehouse.”

“This warehouse?”

“Oh dear lord, y’all really didn’t talk for shit.” Echo said.

“She bought it for you to be like your little artist commune. She would have her music and stage, but she was going to turn it into a full art studio and gallery to surprise you and bla bla bla bla bla.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she showed me the plans and everything.”

“Oh.”

“Yup.” Ontari said as she finished off her first beer and reached for her second.

“So I know I should ask her, but what were you doing in her room?’

“Oh ummm, so yeah, I got into a knock down drag out fight with Emori.”

“Like a real fight?”

“Yeah, I told you that relationship was bad news.”

“And Lexa dragged me away and then tore me another asshole and told me to go to fucking bed before she kicked my ass. So I went to bed, because Lexa can be just as scary as you with rage.”

“Ok.”

“Ok?” Ontari asked with a laugh.

“Ontari, quit laughing at poor Clarke.”

“I know, I am sorry, but I just keep seeing Blonde Hotzilla and this girl is just like, ok and all sweet.”

Clarke sat quietly for a second taking it in, “She thought we would get through it?”

“Yeah, she knew it. She said you were it for her. I mean she really believed you could get through anything.” Ontari said.

“We will.” Clarke said as she stood up. “Ontari, I am sorry. It was nice to really meet you this time.”

“Likewise.” Ontari said.

“Echo the party is wonderful, but I have someplace I need to be.”

“You don’t have anyplace to be.”

“Yeah, actually I do.” Clarke smiled brightly, waved, and started walking away.

Echo popped up after her, quickly grabbing her arm, “Clarke, do I need to get Octavia to stop you from doing something crazy?”

“What would possibly give you any indication I was going to do something crazy?”

“Ummm you just had a heart to heart with Ontari, popped up and said, I have some place to be like with a glint in your eye.”

“There is no glint.”

“Ok fine, you go someplace. But don’t go Blonde Hotzilla even if it's a happy Hotzilla and make rash decisions.”

“I’ve got this. Now wish me luck.”

Echo let go of Clarke’s arm, “Good luck, but keep my name out of whatever you're up to.”

Clarke quickly gave Echo a kiss on the cheek, “You really throw the best parties, Echo.”

And Clarke turned rushing out of the warehouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really didn't mean to leave you all on a cliff hanger, but well I wrote a massive chapter (for me) and it felt right to split it here. But don't worry, I will put finishing touches and post tomorrow. Oh and 19 chapters now.


	13. Failure Rate of 100%

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is just enjoying her day in LA when... 
> 
> I posted last night and early today, so make sure you read the last chapter.

Lexa was sitting on her couch with a guitar in hand strumming a jazz inspired rhythm when the door swung open. She jumped up lifting her guitar ready to attack the intruder when Anya calmly walked into Lexa’s place.

“What the fuck Anya? Did you just let yourself in? What are you even doing here?”

Anya raised her key up, “I have credentials and a key for a reason. And I wanted to talk to you. I thought it should be in person.”

“For emergencies, the key is for emergencies.”

“This is urgent.”

“Ok, well urgent means at least knock.”

“Ok, I will knock urgently. But I needed to talk and I thought I have a key, skip the knocking.”

“Never skip knocking. Or Texting is even better beforehand is even better. But you’re here now, talk.” Lexa said as she sat back on the couch and leaned her guitar against the arm.

Anya followed sitting down at the adjacent chair, “I wanted to clear the air about me and Raven and you.”

“That is a long way to come for the same old story. I heard Raven’s side and you can think you stepped in enough. I don’t need the same excuses.”

“It’s not an excuse, Lex.”

“Did you honestly come here to defend yourself for not telling Raven to treat your sister better?”

“No, that’s not why, I’m here. I’ve actually been here 2 days, but I just got the courage to stop by now.”

“What? You need courage? Why are you here then?”

“I’m going to ask Raven to marry me.”

“Oh,” Lexa said as she leaned back against the couch pillow, “well that’s nice.”

“Yeah. I’m a bit of a traditionalist yet and.”

“I know you are a traditionalist, Anya, I mean you and Raven still don’t live together.”

“Well the thing is, I did want to clear the air first about why I didn’t step in more with Raven. And I did step in, but I understand it wasn’t the way you wanted, but..”

“But what?”

“I couldn’t come in between you and Raven.”

“You’re my sister though.”

“You know Raven is more of your sister than I ever was. How am I going to tell her how to treat you? Just like I am not going to tell you how to treat her now?”

“You’re not. You don’t think I need to be friendly with my soon to be sister-in-law?”

“Sister-in-law? I mean Lex, really I would be your sister-in-law too. And that doesn't take away from what we have and always will. But let's be honest, you grew up with her, Lex. I was in college by the time you were 12 and before that I saw you what once a year on a holiday. We are blood and I am not discounting that at all. Our relationship, we will always have each other, I know that because you stuck around the past three years. I saw that in action. But, Raven is your sister too. She isn't blood like us, Lex. But you are sisters. You have that bond. You couldn’t have forgotten that.”

“I didn’t forget anything.”

“Then what happened?”

“You know what happened. She wasn’t there for me. And yeah, I pushed her away first, I get that. But she was supposed to push back. She was supposed to be the one to pull me out.”

“You know she tried for a while, right?”

“Why didn’t she try longer?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Are you blaming me? Are you choosing your girlfriend again?”

“No, Lex! I am not choosing my girlfriend. I will never choose between you too. And I know I won't have too. Because I see two sisters fighting and I stayed uninvolved aside from Raven back off here and there. And that wasn’t enough for you, I know. But it’s me. And I am going to give you some big sister advice here. Sometimes your little sister is stubborn and doesn’t know how to reach out and fix things and sometimes you don’t really either and you know you fucked up and your both angry, but you also don’t know how or why, but you have to just start again, because you’re family and you love each other and nothing is going to change that.”

Lexa smiled, “That was a solid pep talk slash angry rant Anya. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“You hang out with too many smart asses. They’ve been rubbing off on you.”

“I attract the worst people.” Lexa said with a laugh.

“Not always.”

“So, you are going to ask Raven to marry you? That’s big.”

“Yes, and that whole sister thing. Well, that’s why I am here. I know that you think this is outdated and sure I could ask Becca and…”

“But they’re scary…”

“Yes, a bit. I mean I thought growing up with Titus prepared me for fear, but..”

“Dad’s stare has nothing on my moms.”

“Right, so I came to the sister.”

“Ok.”

“So Lexa, I’d like to ask your blessing to marry Raven.”

“This is so fucking weird.”

“Could you just one-time bear with me.”

“I know you grew up with Dad, but Anya you are taking this traditionalist bullshit too far.”

“Lex, just give me your blessing.”

“Fine, you weirdo I give you my blessing.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Lexa said with a shrug and a chuckle.

“Come on, let’s have some wine and celebrate your impending doom.” Lexa said as she moved to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine.

“Doom?” Anya questioned as she followed.

“Yeah, I’ve lived with Raven. Have fun with that.”

“Yeah, but you never got sex from her. Worth it!”

“Oh God! Anya! What is wrong with you! That’s disgusting!”

Anya laughed, “I missed you, Lex.”

“Yeah, well next time man up a bit.”

“Ok, but can you maybe use less sexist language.” Anya said as she placed two wine glasses on the counter for Lexa to fill.

“You came here to ask for Raven’s hand in marriage and your worried about man up?”

“It’s different.”

“You’re different.”

Lexa rose her wine glass to Anya, “Cheers. I’m happy for you. For both of you. I mean you are still both assholes, but I love you Anya.”

"I love you too, Lex." 

\+ + +

  


After Anya left, insisting she didn’t want to interrupt Lexa’s songwriting anymore and she had all her stuff at the hotel and had to catch a flight, so Lexa sat down ready to get back to it. She played a riff for a minute, until she was interrupted by a loud knocking on the door. No one has access to her front door without credentials, so she figured Anya forgot something and listened about knocking. _But damn, don’t take it this far._

“Jesus Anya! Calm down, I’m coming!” She yelled as she put down her guitar.

The knocking continued, but sounded more like banging, as Lexa grabbed the door open.

“For fucks sake An…” she said until the open door revealed a slightly disheveled blonde.

“Clarke?”

“Hi.”

“Umm, what are you doing here? What the hell is going on today?”

“Anya let me in as she was leaving.”

“Ok that explains how, but why?’

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah, yeah, come in.” Lexa motioned for Clarke to enter and followed her in.  
  
“Clarke, what’s going on?” Lexa asked as she faced Clarke.

Clarke reached for Lexa’s hands holding them in front of her, while she looked into her piercing green eyes. “Lexa, so I realized that I love you so much and I was really off base about a lot. But I don’t want that to stop our future together.” Lexa’s body tensed up as Clarke continued, “I don’t want the past to be all we have. And you, you so clearly saw our future together. And I want that future. I want the life, we saw. I want it together. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I just realized we’ve had time apart and now I think it’s time we try time together. I think it is beyond time we take that step, because I love you so much. Your it for me, Lex.” Clarke’s eyes began to tear up, “Lexa will you...”

Lexa let go of Clarke’s hands, “Clarke, woah Clarke, slow down, this this is part of the problem. Jesus! We can’t go from 0 to 60 in..”

Clarke stepped forward grabbing Lexa’s hands again, “Lex, will you go to therapy with me?”

Lexa dropped Clarke’s hands and her eyes grew wide.

“You scared the shit out of me. You don’t do that Clarke!” Lexa yelled as she playfully pushed Clarke away.

“Ok, you’re right, it’s a bit much,” Clarke said as she stepped forward, “but answer the question, please.”

“Yeah, I think that’d be good. We can do that. We should do that.” Lexa sputtered with a smile.

“Yes?”

“Yes.” Lexa repeated.

“Great!”

“But you know you could have asked that on the phone? No reason to be dramatic and fly all the way here.”

“But I have one more question.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah, I think that’d be good too. We should definitely do that.” Lexa sputtered again.

Clarke took a step forward lightly grabbing the back of Lexa’s neck and pulling her in for a kiss, lightly caressing Lexa’s lips.

“See I couldn’t do that over the phone.”

“No, you couldn’t.” Lexa said with a smile and leaned back gently touching her lips to Clarke’s before deepening the kiss and pulling Clarke in by the hips. Clarke leaned back in slightly opening her mouth giving room for Lexa to explore, when Lexa suddenly stepped back from the kiss.

“We have to go slow.”

“Yes. Slow.” Clarke said not moving, “Just so we are clear slow means no sex?’

Lexa nodded yes and laughed.

“Ok.” Clarke nodded too. “Oh, one more thing, one day I will ask you to marry me.”

“35 miles per hour Clarke. But no.” Lexa shook her head, “I am better at that kind of thing.”

“Really? Hey so you want to go to town hall and get married?” Clarke mocked.

“I wouldn’t ask like that.” Lexa said with a scoff.

“Well I mean apparently that’s your approach to asking girls out.”

“It was a date not a lifetime and you have like a failure rate of 100% on grand gestures.”

“Did I fail just now?”

“No, you most definitely did not.” Lexa smiled.

“So it’s settled. I get to ask.”

“35 miles per hour, Clarke.”

“50 miles per hour? Turns out you still get the scenery and the chatting, but a little more action.” Clarke said as she leaned into Lexa, who stepped back.

“Nope, 35 miles per hour. And let’s take one step at a time. So maybe the next question you should be asking is to Octavia about their therapist.” Lexa said with a wink.

“On it.” Clarke said smiling brightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Therapy, y'all! 
> 
> I wasn't going to be crazy and go to fast or cruel to you and cause unneeded angst after all those chapters of progress... I mean at least not yet. Oh and the Chapter count is 20 now! And that's final! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Edit: So I edited some dialogue slightly, because I think it came off a bit different than I expected. Don't expect much Anya love yet, but that's ok.


	14. Va va voom!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little light conversations and one heavy conversation.

Clarke smiled but looked down at her feet as Lexa moved away from her. The air wasn’t clear between them yet, but they both had smiles to match their hope for the possibility. Lexa had known when she called up the florist, she had been a regular customer at that she was ready to move forward with Clarke and while she wouldn’t jump on a plane just to suggest therapy herself, this was the Clarke she had fallen for, over the top and maybe a bit out of bounds. While she knew things needed to change between them, she never wanted the bits like this to change. Lexa knew she could fall into Clarke so easily, without doing the work, so she moved away from Clarke. She walked back towards the living area motioning for Clarke to follow her.

“One other thing, Lex.”

“Yeah?”

“I didn’t really think this whole thing through…”

“Big surprise there.”

“Yes, well I don’t have a place to stay, could I stay here?’

“No Clarke, I am going to make you go get a hotel.” Lexa said.

“Ok well, I also just have my bag with like two things, so..”

“I’m not taking you on a shopping spree.”

“I have basics, bikini, outfit, but like sweats and tee would be nice.”

“Bikini?" Lexa eyed Clarke up and down.

Clarke shrugged.

Ok then, yeah no problem, I keep extra clothes in varying sizes just in case my conquests…”

“Lexa, are we at joking about your sex-life comfortable yet?”

“Yes, we are. Get comfortable with it.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow.

“Anyways, you know your way to the guest room.”

“Guest room?”

“Yeah, guest room.”

“Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.”

“Has Octavia been making you watch Brooklyn 99?”

“Maybe.”

Lexa laughed and took a seat back on the couch picking up her guitar again.

“Did you maybe want to talk through some things.”

“Let’s just enjoy LA for now. And then maybe it’s a good idea to wait for the pro to hit the big topics.”

“Ok, yeah, we can do that.” Clarke said before asking, “what are we doing today?”

“I am going to play music. You are welcome to do whatever you like.”

“We aren’t going to hang out?”

“Nope.” Lexa said as she began playing.

“But Lex…”

“Clarke, I had plans interrupted by two uninvited guests. But now I am going to get back to my plans and you can enjoy yourself. Go take a nap, read a book, go to the beach.”

“Can I use your car?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Because it is my car.”

“But..”

You really are demanding for an uninvited guest,” Lexa smiled and began playing the guitar.

Clarke grabbed the backpack she dropped by the door and started heading up the stairs.

“Maybe later we can…” Clarke started before Lexa raised her arm up waving Clarke away.

“Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.”

\+ + +

The next day both Clarke and Lexa slept in. Lexa was able to get in a good session on the guitar and the two chatted lightly in the evening over a snack. It reminded Lexa of the easy evenings they used to have. Doing nothing without expectations and just enjoying each other’s company. In the morning, Lexa made breakfast with smoothies like there old routine and again they chatted briefly with Clarke telling Lexa she would be going back soon and Lexa letting her know, she still wasn’t sure how long she would stay in LA. To Lexa’s surprise it wasn’t awkward and more notably, Clarke didn’t pushback. She just nodded before saying she was going to change for the pool.

By the time Clarke returned, there was a girl sitting on the couch pestering Lexa, “Wait! Clarke is here? Weren’t you taking time? She just up and flew here?”

Lexa nodded and shrugged taking a drink from her smoothie. Clarke walked into the living area wearing a bikini ready to go for a swim at Lexa’s pool.

“Va va voom!”

Lexa swatted at her friend as she not so subtly checked Clarke out.

“Hey Lex the spectrum just got broader by one hot blonde."

"Stop hitting on gay girls!"

"Bi-girl, actually."

"So you like, you get it’s a spectrum, right?"

"Oh yeah, I"

“Clarke, don’t engage her. Don’t do it. Next she’ll be suggesting polyamory.”

“Now that you mention it Lex, not a terrible idea….”

“Stop.”

“Why are you so close-minded, Lex?”

“I’m not.”

Both women glanced at Lexa with questioning looks.

“Maya if you and Jasper want to do polyamory, I am more than happy for you. And if your spectrum includes anyone but me and Clarke, I’d also be more than happy for you, but we are off the table.”

“We are?” Clarke asked with a smile.

“Well, I mean I sort of thought that horrible metaphor and even more horrible grand gesture implied we were off the table.”

“Oh, it more than implied, but I think we need to start being extra, extra clear with one another, so we don’t run into any potholes, because the other didn’t point it out.”

“Stop with the metaphor Clarke. It’s too much. But yes, we are 100% clear while we are working on us and talking, I want us both to be completely off the table.”

“I want that too.”

“Mmmmhmmmm,” Maya loudly cleared her throat, “I’m still here.”

“And?’

“Just letting you know.”

“Wait! Why are you here?”

“Jasper got carried away with an idea and went to the studio and I was bored, so I thought I’d wander over here and see what you are up too.”

“You don’t have a phone?”

“It’s probably getting fixed, right?”

“It is! Damn phones always breaking. Plus, you said stop by anytime. But you look busy, so I’ll go pester someone else.”

“No stay, I want to meet Lex’s friends.” Clarke looked at Lexa, “I mean if you don’t mind.”

“Oh yeah, this is Maya. I guess I better introduce you two.”

“Maya, Clarke.”

“Oh so you’re the Maya she was talking about.”

“I figured she talked about me a lot. Clarke, you have to talk to her. She has this thing for me and I don’t know how to break it to her, but I kind of have a thing for this hot blonde.”

“Maya.” Lexa said in a scolding voice giving her the eye.

“You told me to stop hitting on you, you can’t be jealous Lexa. I have moved on. I think it is time you do too.”

“Maya, you need to meet Echo. I think you two would get on famously.”

“No, Maya and Echo must never meet,” Lexa said with a stone face.

“Anyways, Clarke was clambering for some company earlier, you two should hang out.”

“I wasn’t clambering.”

“Really Lexa, you aren’t going to join us?’ Maya asked.

“Nope, I have had it up to here with unannounced guests,” Lexa said raising her hand to her neck.

“Alright then Clarke, since you are already in your bikini, which really surprise visit and you bring the bikini. You really were bringing out the big guns for Lex.

Lexa laughed at her friend.

“Ok on track, let’s hit the beach and you can tell me all about Lex’s kinks.”

“Clarke you know you are on probation, right? So maybe no blabbering to Maya.”

“Probation? My metaphor is much better than probation.”

‘I mean, it sort of fits. But we can discuss that well.. you know.” Lexa said with a serious tone and more sullen face, before turning to an upbeat pitch and adding, “But if you ever want to get above 35 mph, shush.”

“My lips are sealed.” Clarke said.

“Booooring, Lexa, very boring.” Maya said.

\+ + +

After Maya and Clarke had left for the beach, Lexa spent the rest of her day relaxing poolside. She sat down on her deck with a coffee and Miles Davis’s biography. She read through for an hour before her phone rang. When Raven’s name displayed on the phone, Lexa hesitated to pick it up, but remembered telling Raven she would answer. And even if it was in passing and the result of a good mood, she decided to keep her word.

“Hello.”

“Lex, hey.”

“What’s going on?”

“I’m engaged and well…”

“Congratulations Raven. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you Lex, but the thing is I’m not really happy.”

“What? Raven, I don’t think I am the person you should be talking to.”

“The thing is Lex, I’ve been ok with being well what we’ve been. First being angry and then well hoping you would take a step, but the thing is I realized I’m not happy, Lex. Because when she asked and yeah I was happy about that. I am still happy about that, but the thing is I wanted to call you. You were the first person I wanted to call. I always thought you’d be the first person with anything like this. The big things, you were always the one until you weren’t. And I don’t want it to be like that anymore. So I called you.”

“Raven, I want to be that person for you. I want that. But I can’t just be that person for you again. I can’t be someone you only reach out to because this big thing happened. I’m happy for you, but I don’t see us going back to where we were. I mean Raven you’ve had a long time to reach out to me.”

“I know and I think I told myself, I will just wait. Hell, I told everyone. I will just wait for Lex to reach out when she is ready, because I know her and that is what she wants or needs.”

“Raven, I already told you that you need to stop thinking you know what I want or need.”

“I know that. And the reality is I didn’t reach out, because I knew you, but because I was scared.”

“Scared? Raven since when have you been scared of me?”

“Since I finally saw that I could really lose you.”

“Raven for the past three and a half years there hasn’t been anything between us, what more is there left to lose?”

“You’ve still been here though, Lex. I would be a bitch to you, but you were still there. I know it’s fucked up and I can’t explain myself really, but at least then you were with me you know?”

“No, I don’t know Raven.”

“I always felt that if you are still around the door is still open. But if I finally do reach out. What if that’s it? What if you can’t forgive me? If we can’t move forward? What if you did stop talking to me before, because you just didn’t want me to be that person for you anymore from the start? So, I guess I didn’t want that answer. And then that’s it. I didn’t want you to finally say it. If I didn’t ask, you couldn’t cut me off completely.”

“Raven, that’s really fucked up.”

“I’m really fucked up, Lex. I was fucked up before with you, of course I am more fucked up without you.”

“Raven, I really I thought I could chat with you and just well do what I did for the past three years, do what I do with Anya. But I don’t think I can do that with you Raven.”

‘I don’t want you to do that with me. And listen, I don’t want this to be it either, but I think I realized the risk of it being final is better than the waiting. Then not doing the right thing. Yeah, I was so hurt by you. I still don’t understand why you stopped calling me and why you didn’t want my help. But I still don’t understand why I lashed out at you the way I did. Why I thought it was ok or what the point was. I don’t know what I was doing. And I frankly don’t know how to fix that. How to fix us. But I still think we are fixable.”

“Raven, I have so much going on. I have Clarke wanting to talk and I want that to work and I want so much to work. And sometimes I feel like it’s coming from everywhere. It’s too much. And I well even with Clarke when I think that the two most important people to me, they didn’t see me. That she couldn’t see through a tough period and then when you and I know what I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have ignored you that long, but I didn’t talk to mom for longer and she never doubted me. I thought you would have that faith in me. And then I don’t understand how you acted after. I don’t understand where all that animosity came from.”

“I don’t understand either, Lexa.”

Lexa took a long breath, before Raven spoke again, “I think well, Lex you were the first person I saw as.. as someone I could count on… as family. You gave me a family and I’m not blaming you for this, but when you stopped answering my calls or calling or texting, I felt like maybe you weren’t as okay with Anya and me as you said and that you.. you..” Lexa heard muffled crying on the other end of the line, “you didn’t really want me as part of your family. And that when you stopped being there, I would lose everyone else too.”

“But you didn’t, Raven. I did.”

“You never lost anyone, Lexa.”

“Well, it felt like it.”

“I know and I’m sorry. But no one walked away. We all stayed. Clarke was shitty and I was shitty, but we were never willing to let you go. And I think we well I know I did hope it could get better.”

“So why not try to make it better? Why wait for me to get fed up?’

“I.. I.. well, I’m not as strong as you Lex. And I was scared that I wouldn’t have them anymore.”

“You had them though. You didn’t notice that within three years.”

“I didn’t have you. Us. And I couldn’t stop myself. I saw what I was saying that night and I knew it was fucked up, but you were engaging with me and..”

“Don’t. Don’t give me that shit, Raven. You could have just talked to me. You didn’t have to pick fights.”

“I know. I don’t have an explanation except what I have already said. But I just want to have you in my life again. I want to share these moments with you the big and small. I want us back. And it shouldn’t have taken this, but it did and I..”

“What are you going to ask me to go to therapy too?”

“I was thinking that maybe we could go for coffee when you get back or something, but I mean I would do therapy I guess.” Raven said with a slight tilt to her voice questioning the therapy.

Lexa chuckled, “I’d really rather not.”

“Oh, ok. I’m sorry, Lexa. I leave you alone. But I do want you to know that I love you. You were there for me when I had no one and that means the world to me,” Raven let out a sob, “And you gave me a family. I should have done better by you. And even if I’m not family to you, you will always be family to me.”

“Raven.”

“Yes?”

“I meant I’d rather not do therapy.”

“Oh.”

“We can do coffee when I get back.”

“Great! Yeah. Great!” Raven sniffled.

“Congratulations, Raven.”

“Thank you.”

“I do love you. You have to know Clarke wasn’t the only one who broke my heart, right?.” Lexa said finally letting a tear fall.

“I know and she isn’t the only one who wants to mend it.”

“Maybe try flowers?’ Lexa said wiping her eyes.

“I was thinking a commemorative tattoo.”

Lexa smiled, “We’ll see. Coffee first, tattoos later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, the Clarke stuff was a bit of filler, but it is necessary filler because things aren't going to go from 0 to 60 again (dammit with these metaphors). Also, I am still going strong with the Raven stuff, so y'all well... enjoy? 
> 
> Soon we will be out of LA and into the thick of it with Clarke and Lexa. Fun. Fun. And some new characters (still 100 universe) will be introduced who I looooove. But y'all may hate. lol
> 
> I almost split this chapter.. but I will not go above 20! I swear it.


	15. So like a date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chatting... Clarke chats with people... a chapter.

Clarke was mocking up a design on her computer when the phone rang. She had been going into deep work sessions and had been ignoring calls all afternoon. She was annoyed by the interruption before she saw Lexa’s picture on her phone screen. Things had been nice since she got back in town. It was strange to Clarke how much she was struggling with Lexa’s absence. It was no different than the past few years with her being gone often on tour or in LA, but it felt different. She was eagerly waiting for news of Lexa’s return, but was unwilling to bring it up with her.

“Lex, hey, I was just thinking about you.”

“No, you weren’t. Don’t lie. I texted Echo and she said you were working and that I should call and bother you, because you wouldn’t answer if she did and she has a really important question for you.”

“What? Ok, so what is such a pressing question?”

“No clue, I hung up on her just to test if you would answer for me.”

“Ok well Echo is right, I will always answer for you.”

“Umm,” Lexa began.

“From here on out, I will if I am available. No purposely ignoring.”

“Good.”

“So any reason you wanted to call aside from testing Echo’s theory.”

“Umm yeah, I thought I’d let you know I will be in town next week.”

“You’re coming back?” Clarke said with an excited squeal.

“Well, I will be back for a visit.”

“Oh, ok.” Clarke said with obvious disappointment.

“Yeah, but I was thinking you could set up an appointment.”

“Yeah, sure, I can do that.”

“And I’d like to hang out too.”

“Yeah?” Clarke questioned with a slight upward tilt to her voice as she couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah, I mean we don’t have to only talk in therapy.”

“I know, but I didn’t really know the game plan here.”

“I mean for now there isn’t really a game plan.”

“Oh, ok.” Clarke began mindlessly moving her mouse around the computer screen.

“Is it?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure you just don’t want to push back because..” Lexa began.

“Ok, I mean I would like a bit of a game plan. I mean I feel like we are sliding back into limbo land. Like I am not sure when you are coming back and I don’t know how we can work on us if you are just visiting and..”

“Clarke,” Lexa interrupted.

“And I know I am not supposed to be pressuring you and yeah 35 mph. But…”

“Clarke,” Lexa said with more volume.

“Yeah?”

“We aren’t in limbo. I didn’t just come to LA to run away from you. I have obligations and well, this is maybe something we should save for therapy, because frankly I am not willing to go down this road with you on the phone.”

“Yeah, ok.”

“Clarke, stop saying ok.”

“It is ok though. I mean I don’t love it, because I want to move forward with you, but what’s a little more time. I mean we’ve waited.. well, yeah, it’s ok. I mean that.”

“Ok.”

“Ah ha, now you are pulling the ok.” Clarke said excitedly.

Lexa began to laugh, “Ok Clarke, so I also wanted to hang out with you when I am in town.”

“So like a date?”

“Yeah, I guess like a date.”

“So let me get this right, I flew to LA to grandly ask us to take a step forward in our relationship and you in return ask me out again for the first time in how long by saying hang out?”

“Clarke do we need to talk about how long?”

“Nope. Not now. No ma’am. We do need to plan a date though.”

“No Clarke, step back. I really do want it to be super casual. You know just getting comfortable being with each other again. No expectations. No romantic gestures. Really just hanging out.”

“So like Netflix and chill?”

“Clarke, really? Are we still saying Netflix and chill? And no, no chilling.”

“Can’t blame a girl for trying,” Clarke laughed before turning serious and adding, “You know I am joking right? Like I really want this to work and I do think you know you are right…”

“I’m right? Do you mind saying that again?”

“About,” Clarke said emphasizing the word, “taking it slow and no sex.”

“I know, Clarke. I like your innuendos though. Always have.”

“Oh yeah?”

Lexa chuckled and said, “Ok so you me a walk in the park, some coffee, and we just hang out see where the day takes us.”

Clarke laughed heartily, “Lexa, you’ve been listening to too much folk music again.”

“What? I mean yeah, but what?”

“Every time you go into a folk phase you start talking like that.”

“Talking like what?”

“All see where the day takes us.”

“You know maybe I will just see where the day takes me alone.”

“Nope. You have a hot date and I hear she acts a fool when stood up.”

“I did not stand you up, Clarke.”

“Totally did.”

“I did not. As I have told you a million times, Raven and I were…”

“Raven and you were what?”

“Oh yeah, the strip club. Oops.”

“Yeah, oops. If your defense involves a strip club, you are probably in trouble.”

“Can we go back to that whole you thought I was cheating thing and three years and…”

“Lex,”

“I’m joking Clarke.”

“Oh yeah, I..”

“Clarke, we are going to talk about it properly. But I mean is pretending it didn’t happen in the meantime helping? I mean I think about it all the time.”

“I do too.” Clarke admitted.

“But I don’t want to be hung up on it either, so a little teasing won’t kill me. Or you, right?”

“So should I prepare myself for a lifetime of this?”

“I mean I bet our therapist will say no, but I personally think it is brilliant. I mean I will need something when I get a stripper for my bachelorette party.”

“What?”

“I mean Bellamy will definitely get a…”

“No Bellamy will not!”

“Are you really getting upset by the hypothetical stripper at my hypothetical bachelorette party?”

“Ummm no.”

“Good cause that would be weird.”

“I know. But again, I am not a fan of…”

“Yes, I am very aware. No fun for Lexa.”

“You can have fun just not..”

“Clarke.”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s not get carried away on hypothetical problems. I think we have enough real ones to get through first. And hey then maybe one day, I’ll actually have a bachelorette party for you to get mad at me over.”

“I plan on it.”

“Great, because I plan on strippers. Yup, that’s right plural.” Lexa said with a boisterous laugh.

“Oh my God!” Clarke said stifling her own laugh.

\+ + +

Clarke was laying on the couch with Octavia with a large bowl of popcorn watching Jeopardy together. Both were pretty terrible at the show and each time they’d miss an answer a piece of popcorn would fly towards the tv.

“So Lex is coming back tomorrow.”

“Yep,” Clarke couldn’t help but smile.

“And you really booked with Dr. Kane on her vacation.

“Yep.”

“And not even a real date or anything just session first?’

“No, I mean yeah, well sort of.”

“Oh that clarifies.”

“We are just going to hang out a bit. Grab a coffee and try to just be around each other.”

“Then therapy.”

“Yep, then therapy. Which honestly… I really really am glad we are doing it. That she is willilng to take that step, but also… I don’t know part of me…”

“Is terrified?”

“There is a lot to unpack there and I don’t know I just feel like we could have a hard session and then well we aren’t even really together, so what if she is like fuck this it’s just easier not too.”

“Maybe you should just stop assuming how Lexa will react before she reacts”

Clarke threw a piece of popcorn at Octavia, “Since when are you a relationship guru?”

“Dr Kane is good.”

“I hope so.”

“I mean, it’s still on you and Lexa to do the work, but…”

“Do the work? Really O?”

“I know it sounds well very therapy, but it’s true. And I think… ok this isn’t me not being Switzerland but maybe still overstepping, but hey I’m not a perfect friend and that is also ok.”

“Yes, ok. Do give me your insight of relationship goddess.”

“You mock, but I am right.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at Octavia, “Anyways,” Octavia began, ”I think you and Lexa have a habit of avoiding doing the work and then you are left with a mess to clean up.”

“And then instead of cleaning up the mess, we take the most reasonable options of just deciding to burn the house down.”

“Yes! Exactly! Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

“Yeah and this isn’t helping my nerves.”

“Ok, but you want to do the work now. And Lexa wants to too. Because, well, ok I didn’t tell you this, but Lincoln suggested Kane to Lexa before everything happened and she wasn’t into it. Like very against it, so I think the fact that even after everything, especially after everything, even with not being official she wants this means you shouldn’t be terrified.”

“Yeah, ok.”

“No, really, it will be hard, you’ll talk and she’ll hate it and you’ll have to dial back your well you, but I really think you two will come out on top.”

“You do?’

“Yeah, I do. I mean you spent enough time pining after her, I want anything to happen to make that stop.”

“I never pined after Lexa.”

“Oh yeah, remember that party she brought..”

“Ok I may have been in my feels that night.”

“Or how about that time we went to the opera in the park and you got a bit tipsy and all of a sudden you are giving her your hoodie and sitting so close.”

“First, she was cold. Second, those girls seemed to recognize her and were being weird and I just wanted to…”

“Cock block her?”

“Fine! Yes! I wanted those girls to go away! And I wanted it to be like before and I…”

“Pined?”

“Yes, I pined.”

“Like you’ve been doing hardcore for a month.”

“Yes, I’m a pining pining pinerton who pines. But I miss her and I want to start you know just being around her. I really really want to see her.”

“So, call her up, tell her hey let’s start hanging out right away.”

“I mean I am sort of letting the ball be in her court…”

“Maybe this time around, y’all should just play on the same damn court. You want something you tell her or ask? And she says yes or no, but you know. No more bullshit.”

“Why did I make an appointment with Kane when I can just have you?” Clarke said throwing her popcorn at Octavia.

\+ + +

Clarke leaned back in her bed ready to go to sleep as she scrolled through her phone. She had scrolled through her old pictures that she apparently not so secretly kept on her phone. Her favourite was a simple selfie of her and Lexa sitting at the top of Mount Weather with Clarke giving Lexa a kiss on the cheek and Lexa smiling brightly. It was five years ago. _Five fucking years!_ Clarke thought. She exited the photo and pulled up Lexa in messenger.

Clarke: Let me pick you up at the airport. I want to see you.

Lexa: I want to see you too. But I have Gustus scheduled.

Clarke: Cancel and let me.

Lexa: Airports are tricky and it's just simpler with Gustus.

Clarke: Ok, can I come with Gustus?

Lexa: Oh Clarke, that’s not a great idea.

Clarke: Yes, I am aware I am on his shit list, but I mean I am hoping he will be seeing a lot of me again and I think we need a truce anyways.

Lexa: I know you want to make amends and all that, but Gustus…

Clarke: I can handle him.

Lexa: ummmm

Clarke: I can.

Lexa: Ok then I will message him to pick you up before the airport.

Clarke: Awesome! See you tomorrow!

Lexa: I really hope you live to see me tomorrow.

Clarke: He can’t hate me that much, can he?

Lexa: He can.

Clarke: I will just have to charm him like I charmed you.

Lexa: So you will wear a bikini? I mean I am not opposed, but I don’t think that will do it for Gustus.

Clarke: But it does it for you? Mmmmm. Maybe I will.

Lexa: Nope. Nope. Wear all the clothes. I don’t need to be tempted again. Go with a turtle neck.

Clarke: Oh how about that black turtle neck that fits like a glove and...

Lexa: …

Clarke: You tell me... You remember?

Lexa: Fuck! not that turtleneck.

Lexa: That’s not fair.

Clarke: Hey, I just wanted to talk about some happy memories for once.

Lexa: That memory was very happy indeed.

Clarke: We can make more.

Lexa: We will…just not in the car with Gustus.

Clarke: Maya is right you are booooring.

Lexa: Maya is never right and that wasn’t what I recall of that happy memory.

Clarke: I may need a refresher.

Lexa: Well earn it.

Clarke: I am trying.

Lexa: May I remind you flowers…

Clarke: Oh you will be mortified with the amount of flowers tomorrow.

Lexa: We’ll see.

Clarke: Ok, I am off to bed. Time difference is no fun.

Lexa: Sweet dreams.

Clarke: Oh, I have plans.

Lexa: XOXO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is not the chapter I sat down to write... it's a bit filler, but I hope still moving the story forward nicely....and well I went over where the story is going and... well 24 chapters now. Next chapter will get in the thick of it... expect a date... and therapy begins.


	16. I am playing nice.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke needs a push. Clarke needs a ride. Clarke needs.... Lexa.

Clarke peaked through the blinds looking down at the black SUV parked on the street. She was nervous and sweating bullets thinking about two things. Seeing Lexa again of course and hanging out with her. _Maybe post cross country flight wasn’t the best idea. _But first and fore most the biggest worry was Gustus. He had loved her. But that was a long time ago. And she knew he saw Lexa as a daughter and would do anything for her. _Short of murder, hopefully._

“Making Gustus wait isn’t going to make him like you anymore,” Raven said from behind her.

“I know, but I did not think this through.”

“Where has your willing to go cross country like a mad woman bravado gone?’

Clarke shrugged, then her eyes lit up as she wrapped her arm around Raven’s shoulder and walked her towards the door, “Let’s go say hi to Gustus together.”

Raven immediately grabbed Clarke’s arm throwing it off her shoulder and jumping away from Clarke. “What! Hell no! He will murder me!”

“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s Gustus. He’ll hire someone to murder you and just frighten you first with his intense stare and disapproving asides.”

“Ok well then you shouldn’t be so worried about going down there. ALONE!”

“No, if you go. He may spare me. You know lesser of two evils.”

“You’re the lesser of two evils? How about you are the one who went all possessive and then bla bla bla, break and then na na na na na I’m not listening,” Raven plugged her ears, “then shattered his poor little Lexa’s heart and put her in the friend zone for three years.”

“Umm, one thanks for the pep talk. Really great stuff. But little late to the blame Clarke party. I don’t think the fellow guests will appreciate your company. Second, how about little miss sister from another mister, best friends forever, we seen somethings, nothing can separate us, hey Gus, I am your daughter too, no? Oh but also Lex was mean to me for a minute and I got weal weal mad and then I got weal weal bitchy and…” Clarke said in a mock child voice.

“Ok, Clarkie poo, how about that is exactly why I don’t want to see Gustus. He probably believes in corporal punishment. He’ll like I don’t know spank me?”

“Ewww.” Clarke said loudly, “Couldn’t you say slap?”

“Alright, well now that you are imagining Gustus spanking me, on your merry way.” Raven said as she pushed Clarke out of the apartment and shut the door quickly locking the deadbolt.

Clarke yelled through the door, “Your time will come to Raven and I won’t be there to support you.”

“That’s ok, we make a terrible team anyways. I’ll take my chances alone.”

\+ + +

Clarke sat in the back of the SUV rubbing her hands together nervously. To say her reunion with Gustus was not going well would be an understatement. His only acknowledgement of her being a nod and a rough, “Clarke”

This was a far departure from the days long ago when she would sit up front with him and he would smack her legs down lecturing her on how dangerous that is and if there were an accident, she would be seriously injured. Or when they would discuss rugby and Clarke’s secret high school rugby days. Hell, somedays he even joined Lexa and her on hikes to Mt Weather. This was not the same Gustus. This was the Gustus, who grew tired of her as things got tough and barely acknowledged her existence in the time since they broke up.

Other then the brief nod all he was doing was the strong Gustus glare. The glare that he and Lexa both mastered had her honestly wondering if he wasn’t her biological father after all. And his was just as scary as Lexa’s could be. She thought about trying to talk to him, but she found she was too whimpy.

“Oh shit!” She said loudly enough to catch Gustus’ attention. He didn’t speak, but glared at her in the mirror.

“Ok well here is the thing, I sort of need you to make a stop for me Gustus.”

She wasn’t sure a simple look could show anymore disdain, “Clarke, I am not your driver.”

“Yes, I know Gustus. But it’s for Lexa.”

“I am driving you to the airport for Lexa. That is the stop.”

“Gustus please, I promised flowers and I…”

“Clarke, there aren’t enough flowers to make up for..”

“I know that.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“Clarke, I was going to stay out of this, because Lexa told me it is her life and her decisions. She told me to be nice.”

“Wait that was you being nice?” Clarke smiled.

“Clarke, do I seem like being cute is going to work with me?”

“No.” she muttered.

“No, it won’t because from where I stand Lexa is better off without you. You will ruin her. Again.”

“Gustus, I…”

“No Clarke, I don’t need to hear your excuses. I saw your behavior before. I saw the repercussions of your behavior after. I don’t think you or any of your people are good for Lexa. But Lexa is Lexa and she has a big heart and she believes in you still. So I have to pretend that is fine. But it isn’t and I will be here to pick up the pieces again when you are done.”

Gustus suddenly pulled over and parked the car along the street.

“You uhh are you kicking me out?”

“No, Clarke I don’t make Lexa’s decisions for her. It’s a flower shop. Go buy her the flowers. At least make her happy today.”

\+ + +

Lexa found Clarke and Gustus in the usual meeting spot she had with him. His stern imposing body standing behind Clarke with her nervous smile and massive bouquet of flowers drew a smile to her face. She almost openly laughed at Clarke’s nervousness when her eyes landed on her. But she wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of Gustus and her own nervousness was probably showing too. They had been through this same situation time and time again. Airport pickups were commonplace, until a few were skipped and then nothing. She missed the blonde being at the airport like this. And even though she knew there was a way to go, she smiled brightly just thinking of it becoming common place again. Yeah, she could get used to this. Okay, maybe with less disapproval from Gustus.

Lexa took the final steps to meet up with the pair nodding immediately to Gustus who took her carry on from her and then she stepped towards Clarke.

“Hi.” She said with a smile.

“Hi.” Clarke simply replied.

“Well, these flowers certainly are something. Way to stay inconspicuous.”

“I made a promise.”

“I see.” Lexa said looking at the ridiculous bouquet Clarke was holding with many different flowers and simply looked a bit uncomfortable for her to carry. “But it kind of makes it difficult to hug you.”

“Yeah, they may be a bit much.” Clarke said with a genuine smile.

“But we can figure it out.” Lexa said as she took the flowers handing them to Gustus, who accepted them with a grunt. Lexa pulled Clarke into a hug. She honestly couldn’t remember the last time they just embraced like this.

“I missed this.” Lexa whispered in her ear.

“I missed you.” Clarke said back.

Lexa pulled away looking into Clarke’s eyes.

“Oh yeah?” She said with a slight twinkle to her eye.

“Yeah, and now I want to get on with this date.”

“Oh we are just hitting the ground running?”

“I hardly count weeks of you being away and then Gustus as a chaperone as hitting the ground running.”

“Right, well let’s get on with it. But maybe no Gustus as a chaperone.”

“I mean he really does hate me, so I’m certainly ok with that.”

Gustus stepped closer hearing Clarke mention him. “I don’t hate you, Clarke. I just think you are not good enough for Lexa and she is a fool for…”

“Alright then.” Lexa said grabbing the flowers back from Gustus and giving him a kiss on the cheek, “Play nice, Gustus.”

“I am playing nice.”

“Sure you are Gus.”

“I took her to buy that God awful arrangement and brought her here didn’t I?”

“Yes and you did that without protest or….”

“Lexa, someone needs to put their foot down sometimes and if you aren’t going to do it, I ….”

“What happened to not making decisions for me?”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t tell you when you are making the wrong decisions. Or warn Clarke to…”

Clarke stood by looking at the two, nervously fiddling with her hands, but not saying a word.

“Yes, yes. I know. She’ll play nice too. Don’t worry.”

“I always worry Lexa.” Gustus said throwing his arm around Lexa’s shoulder.

"I know and thank you. But I'm good. Really."

Lexa smiled, slid her free arm around his waste and the pair began walking as Clarke stood behind them awkwardly. 

Lexa looked back, “You coming there, Clarke? Or did Gustus already scare you away.”

Clarke skipped forward catching up to them walking beside Lexa. Lexa stepped out from Gustus side, nudging Clarke’s shoulder with her own.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

\+ + +

Lexa sat on the bench alongside the river not too far from her warehouse looking towards the city center. She looked at Clarke who was sipping her coffee, but seemed to be extra quiet. This wasn’t the Clarke that had left LA or the one she had been talking to the past few weeks.

“Clarke, you all right?”

Clarke looked over, “what? Yeah.”

Lexa furrowed her brow and resisting the desire to roll her eyes.

“Well, I know this was supposed to be casual and fun, but you don’t seem to be into it, so…”

“No, no!” Clarke jumped in turning towards Lexa, “I am super into it.”

“Ok, then. What’s up? Gustus say too much? Because you know he is just being over-protective. You forget he didn’t like you when we first started dating too.”

“It’s just. I mean. Maybe he is right.”

“Clarke.”

“No, I mean what if I do ruin us again? What if I break you again?”

“Clarke, I wasn’t broken. I was heartbroken. And I don’t plan on that happening again.”

“But you can’t…”

“We can though. We will do it right this time and that is why we are doing things differently. Hell, that’s why I asked you just now what is going on. Do you think I would have asked the first time around?”

“No.” Clarke said with a slight laugh.

“No, I wouldn’t and you would have just picked a fight. And we’d be yelling at each other like idiots.”

“Yeah, I would have.”

“Right. But we’re not and honestly that wasn’t our first instincts this time. I think we might be growing up. Hell, I don’t even think we need therapy.”

“Oh we need therapy. You aren’t going to weasel out of talking about the big stuff.” Clarke said..

“Nah, I want to talk about the big things, the small things, the anythings with you Clarke.” Lexa said putting her arm around Clarke’s shoulder and pulling her close.

“Were you always this suave?”

“Always.”

Clarke turned her head to face Lexa and smiled.

“I like it.”

“I know you do.” Lexa said with a smile.

“Can I kiss you?”

“On a first date, what kind of girl do you think I am, Clarke?”

“My girl.” Clarke said.

“Well in that case,” Lexa said as she placed her hand gently under Clarke’s chin moving it lightly up as she slowly moved her lips to place a light kiss on Clarke’s lips. Lexa leaned back and smiled at Clarke.

“That’s it?”

“What’s the rush? We have all day together.”

“We do?” Clarke said clearly surprised.

“Yeah, I kind of missed you too and I like spending time with you. Especially when you aren’t being in all in your feelings over grumpy Gustus. I'd like to hang out today. Now drink your coffee.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Clarke said as she took a drink. Neither Clarke nor Lexa moved away from their close proximity and Lexa left her right arm hanging around Clarke as she reached for her own coffee on the bench.

“Hey Lex.”

Lexa looked down at Clarke.

“Gustus didn’t like me when we first started dating?”

“Ummm.” Lexa said looking towards the river.

“Seriously! I thought he loved me.”

“I mean he grew to love you.”

“What!”

“And he’ll grow to love you again.”

“You think?”

“I mean not anytime soon, but sure.” Lexa said with a silly grin.

“God I missed your smile.”

“Well keep making me smile then.”

“Oh I intend to.” Clarke said as she leaned back into Lexa placing a kiss on the corner of her mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I thought I could fit therapy into this chapter. I mean I couldn't even fit a whole date in. So next chapter fun date day and then maybe therapy... So just go ahead and throw my chapter count out the window... I have no clue how long this will take.


	17. Yeah, good nervous.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date continues... and therapy starts... Lexa may have a mini rant left in her.

Lexa and Clarke stood at the high-top table staring each other down. Clarke was holding an axe loosely in her hand, letting it hang to the side. Lexa paid no attention and continued to stare at Clarke with a smirk.

“Lexa, what happened to just like hanging out no plans? Coffee? Stoll through the park.”

“We did that, already.”

“Yeah, well why not dinner and…”

“Just throw the damn axe, Clarke. Get out that aggression you have bottled up.”

“I don’t have aggression bottled up.” Clarke defended.

Lexa leaned into Clarke reached her hand up moving her blonde locks behind her ear, “well, that certainly isn’t the Clarke I remember.”

Lexa stepped even closer to Clarke, “The Clarke I remember had a lot of aggression. It was kind of hot.”

“Ok there was some aggression.” Clarke said as she glanced at Lexa’s lip leaning forward as Lexa stepped back, winked at Clarke and handed her the axe.

“Now that we agree. Throw.” Lexa said.

Clarke accepted the axe shook her head walked forward towards the target and muttered, “Well now I have some fucking aggression.”

Clarke through the ax at the target hitting the read.

“How’s that?” Clarke said turning around and walking towards Lexa suggestively.

“You know Echo was right.”

Clarke stepped right up to Lexa wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her in.

“We’re going to talk about Echo, now?”

“Sure, why not, you have other things in mind?” Lexa said grabbing Clarke’s hands an unwrapping them around her waist and stepping back. She grabbed a pint glass from the small table top handing it to Clarke.

“You look thirsty. And remember, we’re..”

Clarke took a good drink. “Yeah, yeah, I know. But we also said no drinks and you…”

Lexa laughed grabbed her own pint and clinked it with Clarke’s.

“Cheers love, to 35 miles per hour and only two beers tops.”

“Two beers tops. I am going to need..”

“To admit you are having fun and stop pretending to be salty?’

“I’m not pretending.”

“Well then you are a shit date.” Lexa said with a smile.

“I’m not a shit date!” Clarke said with mock indignation.

“Oh yeah? I mean grumpy cat Clarke is cute, but this is technically our first date. I mean really, maybe try a bit.”

Clarke set her drink down, took Lexa’s and set it down and once again leaned into Lexa’s body, “You know things are very different now.”

Lexa stepped back but bumped into the table as Clarke stepped further into her.

“Oh yeah? How?”

“Well for one, I never thought I’d say this but you talk too much.”

Lexa laughed and gave Clarke a peck on the cheek. “I’m trying to get better too, love.”

“Maybe you should take that slow too.”

“You know, I don’t actually love slow.”

“No?”

“Nah, I am ok with a bit faster here and there. You know like judiciously. Like maybe on a specialty track for one day. Supervised.”

“Supervised?”

“I mean you can be in the car, make sure I don’t get carried away or get distracted and…” Lexa stopped talking as her eyes moved away from Clarke’s to her lips.

“And?”

“Swerve off course.”

“We wouldn’t want that.”

“No, we wouldn’t, so you..”

“Jesus Lex! Stop talking.”

“Yeah, ok,” Lexa said as she gently grabbed the back of Clarke’s neck pulling her in for a tender, yet deep kiss.

\+ + +

Lexa sat next to Clarke on the stoop in front of Clarke’s building. It had been 8 hours since, she was picked up at the airport and Lexa was obviously tired but was enjoying the extended time with Clarke. She insisted on taking Clarke home and the pair were sitting on the stoop chatting like they did back when they both lived at the apartment. Enjoying the fresh air on a moonlit night in their favorite city, together. But as they realized it was time to go and they both stood up, Clarke began to fidget with her hands and look down at the sidewalk.

“You’re nervous aren’t you?”

“No.” Clarke mumbled.

Lexa pushed the hair that was falling over Clarke’s eye back behind her ear, “I am.”

“You are? You never get nervous.”

“I’ve been nervous all fucking day, Clarke.” Lexa said with a laugh.

“This is you nervous? About what?”

“Clarke, you have to know, you’ve always made me nervous.”

“Good, nervous?”

“Yeah, good nervous,” Lexa said with a laugh as she leaned in and kissed her. Clarke placed her hand at the hem of Lexa’s shirt and pants and slowly tugged Lexa closer pulling on her tight jeans. She mumbled into the kiss, “still good nervous.”

Lexa responded by deepening the kiss, opening her mouth and giving Clarke the opening to explore her mouth with her tongue for the briefest moment before pulling back. She breathed deeply and leaned her forehead against Clarke’s.

“But I am terrified nervous about tomorrow. And think it’s time for us to call it a night.”

“Yeah, sure ok.” Clarke said backing away from Lexa and rubbing her hands through her hair.

Lexa stepped back to Clarke putting a kiss on her cheek. “So, I’ll meet you there.”

“Yeah, sure, ok.”

Lexa laughed, “Man, you really are nervous. I could have Gustus pick you up if it makes you feel better”

“Oh yeah, that is just what I need.”

“Don’t say I didn’t offer.”

Clarke gave Lexa a slight shove, “Go on now, stop making fun of me. You have already been a massive tease all day.”

Lexa laughed again, “Alright, save your grievances for tomorrow.”

She air kissed Clarke and walked to the street to get in the SUV.

\+ + +

Lexa and Clarke were sitting side by side yet again, but this time the air around them was heavy. Both their hearts pattered, and palms sweat. Dr. Kane had been welcoming, explaining the process, and began to walk them through some introductory sessions, when a surprisingly difficult question came up. Lexa shifted on the couch and Clarke looked to her for her lead, knowing their relationship status was really in Lexa’s court.

“I mean we are together, but we aren’t.” Lexa mumbled.

Clarke’s shut her eyes for a minute before jumping in to help the fumbling Lexa, “Ok so we haven’t established our relationship again in like terms of girlfriend, partner, you know. But we have both decided, we aren’t seeing other people and we would like to see this go forward. And we know we need to clear the air on our break-up and things that happened from that.”

Lexa nodded.

“Ok, now that we know that you are both on the same page there. Can you tell me what your goals are for therapy? I know this may sound job interviewy in a way, but what do you want to get out of therapy as a couple, where do you see success from this?”

Clarke jumped in, “ I mean the end goal is to be ready to go back to where we were and…”

“I don’t want to go back to where we were.”

“What?”

“Clarke, where we were was never good.”

“Yes, it was.”

“Clarke, let’s hear why Lexa feels that your relationship in the past wasn’t good as you put it.” Dr Kane said motioning to Lexa.

“Umm,” Lexa began, “Well I mean, I really was in it and loved her, well love her, but I always I don’t know, when we first got together everything was taking off for me and it was just really great or really awful and well this is kind of shitty, but as much as I loved being around her and I know touring caused a lot of stress on us, sometimes well it just felt easier. Like I don’t know how not to sound like a jerk.”

“Lexa, don’t worry about how you sound. Be authentic. We have already established that Clarke loves you and wants to have this work and part of that is being willing to tell her the things that you wouldn’t before or you didn’t want to because you were scared of a blow up.”

“Ok well that’s just it. Sometimes being away felt nice, calm even. Maybe I was ignoring, but well… There weren’t blow ups on the road, well of course until she tracked me down and accused me of cheating on her and walked out on me.”

“Lex, I…”

“Listen, I don’t want to beat around the bush and warm up to you slowly as our therapist and pretend that we will make progress if we don’t talk about the actual thing. Because the thing is, I have enjoyed our well this lightness we have going lately. But the reason we can be light is because we knew we would eventually discuss this thing right? And well my goal for us is we sure get to be a couple again, but I don’t want the drama from the past. I do want the dreams I had from the past though. I want us to have that. We get the dream I had before, the life, the marriage, the kids, all of that. The dream I never gave up on with her. But I don’t know how to forgive her for giving up on that dream with me.”

“Lex,” Clarke began.

Lexa put up her hand, “No you have been wanting to talk about this, so I am going to be honest. I put up with a lot of shit and I know I didn’t talk, but I never once questioned you when I was gone and I could have. I mean you were friends with Niylah, no different then Ontari and I, I had no clue what was happening there. And then the minute we stopped you two started. Do you know how fucked up that was?”

Clarke looked at Lexa with tears brimming in her eyes and nodded.

“I could have accused you of something going on there. But even after you accused me and told all my friends and well the whole world rolled with that, because you said so. No one questioned it, because Clarke wouldn’t make those accusations without certainty. But you did. I mean it was so easy. It was so easy for you to destroy everything, while I was clinging to you. And maybe I didn’t talk enough, maybe I did things, but I was still in it. All the way. I was so sure it was a hiccup, and then it was like a fucking cancer. And fuck, Clarke, I don’t want to hurt you. But sometimes when I think back and I see us, I think maybe you were, well we were.. I don’t know just not good. And maybe… I know… no I have faith that Gustus isn’t right. I told you that we are going to change and I do believe it, but I really haven’t the first fucking clue how. I am still back at the day after we had sex thinking maybe the best way is to ignore it a little longer and just jump in and I am constantly stopping myself from taking that leap forward or just being like fuck it, never mind, this isn’t going to work. But I want it to and I’m here. Cause I still want you. I want us. I want the dreams I used to have, but I don’t want the relationship we used to have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I left you hanging longer than normal. My bad. My..... bad! But I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I have a few later chapters written partially. Maybe daily posts will happen again.


	18. Are you serious?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa chat.... Echo meets her match.... and Lexa and Clarke make progress?

Lexa ran along the boardwalk with her hat down low and keeping a steady stride when she caught the familiar blonde sitting ahead of her on the bench. She slowed down as she approached the bench to find Clarke staring straight ahead and mumbling to herself.

“Hello.”

“Oh, fuck hello.” Clarke said obviously surprised by Lexa's presence.

“Strange finding you here.”

“Not really, I was waiting for you.”

“Ummm. You were?’

“Yup.” Clarke said as she stood up reaching out to hand Lexa the cup of coffee she missed.

Lexa grabbed the coffee but gave Clarke a questioning look.

“So yeah, I know things were awkward yesterday after..”

“A bit.”

“Yeah, well I want them to be awkward.”

Lexa gave Clarke the same questioning look.

“Or no, I just want to be around you even during the awkward bits and so I’m here.”

“So, you don’t want to take time to digest like we said.”

“I mean we can digest, but I mean isn’t the point to make us work and I don’t see how that happens if we don’t digest it together.”

“Ok then.” Lexa sat down on the bench and takes a drink from the coffee.

Clarke gave Lexa a surprised look.

“I thought this would be harder. You were pretty worked up yesterday.”

“Asking to spend time together isn’t exactly a hard ask. I do like spending time with you.”

Clarke gave her another questioning look.

“Just sit- down Clarke. I am giving up the last part of my run to hang with you.”

Clarke sat down, “So you want to talk about yesterday.”

“Not really.”

“Ok.”

Clarke took a long gulp from her drink as Lexa just stared at her with a smirk.

“So..” Clarke began.

“You really do want this to be awkward.” Lexa joked.

“I mean I don’t but I…”

“Yesterday was a lot.”

“Yeah, it was. And I just I’m scared it was too much. Like you are just going to say it’s not worth it. I’m not worth it.”

“Clarke, I’ve always thought you were worth it and I still do.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Lexa said as she turned her hand over placing on the bench for Clarke. Clarke intertwined her hands with Lexa causing her nervousness to increase.

Lexa smiled. “Clarke, this brings something up. I think you should maybe. I mean I know we both have issues, but I think it would be a good if..”

“I’m going to Kane by myself too.”

“Oh, ok.”

“Yeah, I think, well we think, I need to address my insecurity.”

“Good. Good. I want that for you. You know? Not just us. I want you to feel better about yourself, whether I’m in that picture or not.”

“I want you in that picture though.”

“I know. Me too, Clarke. And that may not have been all I said. But you did hear that too yesterday, right?”

“Yeah, I heard.”

“Good, because if you are going to make me share my feelings like…”

Clarke bumped her shoulder into Lexa.

“Thank you.”

“For what ranting at you?’

“No, for letting me know what is going on with you.”

“Can I tell you what else is going on?”

“Sure.” Clarke said looking at Lexa cautiously.

“I think you should kiss me to show me I’m worth it too.”

Clarke smiled and leaned in placing her lips softly on Lexa’s before leaning slightly back to look in Lexa’s green eyes, “You’re always worth it, Lex. And I think I need to start telling you that too.”

\+ + +

Clarke was in the studio painting when her phone vibrated in her pocket. She put her brush down and reached into the smock of her jacket. She was excited for Lexa’s message to let her know where they’d be headed for the evening.

Lexa: I have to cancel plans.

Clarke: Ok.

Clarke was disappointed, but she decided to roll with it. This was part of the process, knowing when to be calm and letting Lexa run things.

Clarke: Are you ok?

Lexa: yeah, no problem. Just going back to LA.

Clarke: Ok, when you headed back. Maybe we can grab a coffee before you leave instead.

Lexa: Actually, I’m at the airport now.

Clarke was no longer understanding. She felt her heart beat pick up and she made sure to calm herself down and steer away from her anger. But she still had to respond.

Clarke: Are you serious?

Lexa: Yeah, I’m taking Echo back with me and we are going to record a track.

Clarke: Ok.

Lexa: You’re mad?

Clarke: No.

She lied. She was mad._ But Lexa’s pace and maybe now wasn’t the best time to express anger._

Lexa: Ok.

_Or maybe it was._

Clarke: I mean. Well you are cancelling a date and therapy session at last minute to go record a track in LA.

Clarke: And you were too wimpy to even call.

The phone rang in Clarke’s hand almost the second she hit send. She hit send and waited for Lexa to speak.

“Okay, so I may have been a bit of a wimp. But can you blame me?”

“So there are one of two reasons you were to wimpy to call me and I don’t love either.”

“Ok, what are they?”

“One you know you are wrong to change plans at last minute for something that could wait and don’t want to feel like the bad guy.”

“Interesting.”

“Yeah interesting. And the other that you think that I haven’t changed at all and will flip out on you like before.”

“I mean…”

“Lexa, this is why going to these sessions regularly are so important to me. And I’m scared that they aren’t as important to you and I am pressuring you into doing…”

“Clarke, you’re wrong.”

“I am? About what?”

“Everything.”

Clarke scoffed making a loud sigh sound that she was sure Lexa could hear.

“I probably should have thought this through better, I will give you that. And I will work on that part and talking to you, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Ok, so I am all in and I do think the sessions are important and I am sorry to miss out on time with you. But, the faster I finish this up, the faster I will be around more and we can be more consistent and then I can also see more of you.”

“Yeah?” Clarke said smiling.

“Yeah, I want that. I don’t want most of our time to be with Kane third wheeling.”

Clarke chuckled a bit before meekly asking, “So if I was wrong about everything, was I wrong you thought I would flip out.”

“Ok, you were a little right about that. I mean I am not sure you would ever change that much…”

“Lexa..” Clarke began with a forced softness clearly holding back hurt.

“But I’m not sure I’d want you to change that. You are allowed to get irritated with me too, Clarke.”

“Good because you are irritating. Running off to LA with a text from the airport.”

“Yeah, ok, maybe I’ll swing for the flowers this time.”

“I’ll miss you, Lex. Even if you are irritating.”

\+ + +

When Lexa arrived at the studio, there was a large blue and white floral arrangement in a white vase with a note. She couldn’t help, but smile as she began to read the note.

_Lex, _

_I think I still owe a lot more flowers. So here is 1 of many more to come. I didn’t tell you on the phone and I should have, but I am so proud of you. And while I want you to be back here with me. I am so happy for you to be living your dream. And I can’t wait to live our dream together this time around._

_Love, _

_Clarke_

_P.S. You are still irritating. _ _😊_

That message stayed with her as she recorded the track and irritated Echo by changing lyrics during the recording. But she had to get it just right.

A few hours later, Lexa and Echo took a break from there recording session and found Maya sitting in the studio room waiting area with a wicked smile on her face. She promptly jumped up and wrapped her arms around Lexa.

“You’re back! I was hoping I’d catch you pre-session, but busy busy busy being a schlaky for the man.”

“Ok, well I’m back and nice to see you too.”

“Well if it isn’t the woman who’s trying to woo my Lexa.”

“I’m not your Lexa.” 

Echo flipped her hand, “whatever.”

“Maya. Nice to meet you,” Maya said as she reached out her hand to shake Echo’s.

“And she’s right. Lexa is her own person. She can’t be owned.,” Maya continued looking over to Lexa, “unless you’re into that kind of thing. I mean normally that’s not my jam per se, but for you, I’d..”

“Maya, stop.”

“No no Maya I’d love to hear what you’d..”

“Nope nope nope.” Lexa muttered.

“So tight lipped about sex my dear, I’m beginning to think you’re a prude.” Maya said.

“Oh no according to Bellamy, she..”

“What the fuck would Bellamy know about my sex life?”

“Umm you know that wall to your bedroom is kind of makeshift, right?” Echo asked.

“Oh god!” Lexa said shaking her head.

“Yes, he heard that quite a few times...”

Maya smiled brightly, “oh this is fun!”

“Clarke said I’d like you.”

“Oh, so Clarke mentioned me... interesting. Lex, how sure are you that Clarke is serious about you. And do you believe in the bro code... I mean I kind of think it’s a bit...”

Echo laughed, “I like your style, but I’d advise to stay far away from Clarke-Lexa relationship drama.”

“We don’t have drama.”

Both women looked at her with a prolonged stare.

“Anymore.”

They kept looking at her.

“Ok well not as much.”

Both continued to just stare at her.

“Fine but we’re working on it.”

“Have you mentioned Ontari to her?” Echo asked with a gentle tone.

“I mean no, but why would I? For one, Clarke wasn’t thrilled that I left early and had to skip out on the second session, so I mean I may not want to like go there. I mean she was fine, but still. And I mean she’s a friend playing on my…”

“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.”

“Why are you tsking me?” Lexa asked looking irritated at Echo.

“Don’t be daft, Lexa.” Maya added.

“I’m not daft and you’re not British!”

Echo grabbed Lexa’s hands and sat her down on the studio couch beside her, “Lexa, your relationship ended in part to avoiding issues and a lack of communication around your friendship with Ontari.”

“No, my…”

“Lexa, in part.. ok. And Clarke has taken strides. You should hear her. It’s really annoying actually. Like every thought she has must be spoken out loud and affirmed by someone.”

Lexa laughed thinking of Clarke’s tendency to think out loud, no matter the situation.

“Yeah, ok, so even though she is better and she knows she messed up and nothing happened with Ontari, it’s still a soft spot and she’d likely appreciate the heads up… from you.”

“Ok, fine I will tell her, but if she gets all whatever with me. I’m…”

“She isn’t going to get all whatever with you. I mean she’ll get all whatever. But she’ll be all understanding and soft with you because she is scared to misstep and then she’ll annoy poor Raven with hours of drivel and…”

“Good. Raven deserves it.”

“I know Raven did you wrong, but your girl is annoying as hell. No one deserves that torture. Like how did you ever deal with her.”

“She’s fucking hot.” Maya said with a bit too much excitement.

“Maybe, there is a spectrum,” Lexa said with a laugh.

“You don’t have to be on any spectrum to know that, Lex. You just have to have eyes.” Echo jumped in.

Lexa smiled, “She is very hot.”

“Yeah, she is you hound dog. Lexa, you’re thinking of something. Do tell.” Maya said leaning forward from her perch on the arm chair.

“Don’t you have coffee to fetch.”

“Ouch, never thought you’d be one of those stars. How disappointing, Lex.”

“Whatever, you and Echo stay here and discuss how awful and inappropriate you both are.”

“Hey! It’s called being open and honest, Lexa! Give it a try!”

“I’m trying! So leave me alone I am going to call Clarke.”

“Look at you. One little heart to heart with your BFF and good to go.”

“You’re not my BFF.”

“BFF in law, then. Same thing.”

“Weirdo.” Lexa said as she left the studio room with a faux door slam.

\+ + +

“

Lexa was nervous as she dialed Clarke’s number. And each ring made her more nervous, until Clarke answered. She knew she wasn’t doing anything wrong, but she thought back to Clarke seeing Ontari and all she could see was that Clarke. The one who saw the worst in her, who couldn’t actually see her. She wasn’t so sure Clarke had changed that much yet.

“Hey Lex.”

“Hey Clarke,” Lexa decided just too jump in, “So I have to tell you something and you aren’t going to like it.”

“And here I thought you were calling to say the flowers were lovely or you are sorry you missed a wonderful date with me or…”

“Ontari is coming into town tonight and she is going to be recording with me for the week.”

“Oh.” Clarke said quietly.

“Oh?”

“Thank you for letting me know, Lexa.”

“That’s it?”

“Ummm, have fun?”

“No warnings or outrage or…”

“Lex.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean my stomach did drop, but also, I know there is no reason for that. Ontari cleared a lot of things up for me and…”

“Wait, what?”

“I mentioned it before, but It doesn’t really matter, even if she hadn’t. I do trust you.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I do. And listen, I may not always be this cool going forward, but I am going to try. I need you not to worry about me overreacting or me ruining things. Cause I am never going to do that again. I’m working on me and us and I am going to be better. And I’m going to earn your forgiveness.”

“First flowers now trust and earning forgiveness… maybe Kane is as great as Octavia said.”

“He is, but also, I knew I needed to take steps already and now I need you to know too.”

“I know Clarke.”

“Great, so go have fun with Ontari. But watch out for Echo and Maya. I think that may be the trouble.”

“Oh it’s awful, Clarke.”

“It’s what you get for picking them over me.”

Lexa laughed, “Alright Clarke, well I have to head back in, but facetime tonight? I wouldn’t mind seeing your face.”

“Absolutely! I wouldn’t mind seeing your… well everything.”

Lexa smiled brightly shaking her head, “Clarke, you have to work a little harder for that.”

“Oh you don’t even know what I have planned, Lex. When you get back in town I get to plan an over the top date to make up for you cancelling on me.”

“Sure thing, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who was I kidding with daily updates? But my goal is to finish this by the 20th, so wish me luck. And stop me from going off track! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed. Soon some Raven, some Niylah (mentioned not seen... relax), some angst but fun, some new character fun... I have been waiting like 8 chapters to introduce my favourites…. and they explain somethings.


	19. My turn?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa runs into someone... a dinner party... and a therapy session. Also, if you didn't read the last chapter that was posted very late last night, go back one chapter.

Bellamy and Lexa had been looking around the small Mediterranean food shop prepping for the dinner party Echo and Bellamy were hosting. He went off to the deli section, while she was looking at the various sweets.

“Lexa, how are you doing?” a familiar voice from behind her said.

Lexa turned around to see a tall slim woman with long brown locks.

“Niylah,” Lexa said in a flat voice.

“What brings you here?”

“Ummm, picking up something.”

“Ah yes, Clarke liked..”

“I’d really rather not hear what Clarke liked from you.”

Niylah put her hands in the air facing Lexa, “Relax, Lexa I know you and Clarke are back together and I’m happy for you.”

“Well isn’t that sweet.”

Niylah chuckled never one to read Lexa well, “Well she seemed happy, so I’m happy for her.”

Lexa’s eyes met Niylah’s with a glare as her jaw tightened. _She seemed happy. What the fuck, Clarke! _She thought. “So you and Clarke are hanging out again too, that’s sweet.”

“Oh no,” Niylah said with a slight laugh, “no, no, no. I swung by Clarke’s gallery after I am pretty sure she was ghosting me to see if she’d take me up on a coffee. She said in no uncertain terms that she was hoping things would work out with you and she thinks it would be unfair to you and…”

Lexa’s shoulders relaxed as Niylah spoke and she honestly didn’t hear whatever else Niylah was saying.

“Alright then, that’s good.”

“I mean whatever works for you two, but you know that Clarke and I…”

“I really don’t need to hear about Clarke and you ever.”

“Ok then, well you have a good one, Lexa and for what it’s worth, you know that she was always head over heels for you. That never changed.”

Lexa nodded and Niylah turned and left, as Bellamy shuffled up nodding dismissively as NIylah waved at him.

“Ohhhh shit. What went down there?”

“Nothing, but she is still soooo annoying? Why was Clarke… nope, nah, I don’t want to know.”

“Okay then, that’s fine. But you going to be good to go for the gathering tonight? I mean maybe you should just take the night of if you need. Echo gets along well enough with the group now that I don’t really have to be with her. She’ll get it. We could stay back at your place and just like get burgers and have bro time.”

Lexa looked at Bellamy for a moment before stepping into give him a giant hug. He stood still for a moment surprised, but wrapped his arms around Lexa hugging her back. “You’re alright, Lex.”

She didn’t move speaking into his shoulder, “I know that now Bellamy, I know. But I’m so thankful you were there when I didn’t.”

“Always,” Bellamy said pulling back, so Lexa was looking at him and kissed the top of her forehead.

“And you know, Bros before hos.”

Lexa laughed as she backed out of the hug. “And you always know when to ruin a moment.”

“You love me though.”

“I do.”

\+ + +

Clarke had been at Echo’s place for 45 minutes now. The whole gang was there hanging out in the kitchen as Raven who was a surprisingly good cook helped Echo finish up the food. Anya, Monty, Jasper, Octavia, Lincoln, a few friends of Echo’s she recalled seeing at the party at Lexa’s place were all there, but no Lexa or Bellamy. And strangely the usually overly open Echo quickly changed the subject when Bellamy was brought up with a slight oh he’ll be here a bit late, no worries, something came up. And as the whole meal was plated and ready to go, Bellamy finally came in with Lexa trailing behind him. He went up to Echo right away giving her a quick kiss and hug as he whispered something in her ear. And as Lexa walked in gave a quick wave to Clarke and walked over to Echo to say hi and carry on a short private conversation, Clarke couldn’t help but be jealous of Bellamy and Echo’s easy relationship. _Were her and Lexa ever like that?_

Lexa made the rounds and even seemed to have a laugh with Raven before everyone sat down at the table. As Lexa sat down by Clarke, she couldn’t help but feel like Lexa was forced to sit by her and would have chosen anywhere else given the opportunity. For the life of her, Clarke couldn’t figure out what was up. Things had been good. Sure, therapy was hard, and she missed Lexa while she was in LA, but they had been hanging out and they had texted earlier in the day saying they were looking forward to seeing each other.

Clarke finally caught Lexa’s eye.

‘You okay, Lexa?” She asked quietly.

“I’m fine, Clarke.”

“Ok, but you came in late and you haven’t even really talked to me.”

“Just hanging with Bellamy and saying hi to friends. I haven’t seen them in a little while longer than you. Nothing to worry about.” Lexa said with a soft smile.

“Ok.”

And it felt ok for a while. Lexa started talking to her and Clarke started to join into the chat. Lexa didn’t know Echo’s friends and as she drank more wine and the evening went on, she opened up and their rapport was back. Clarke just assumed it was Lexa being uncomfortable around new people.

But when the group moved to the living room later in the evening, putting on one of Echo’s slower music tracks and began breaking off into groups, Tristen changed things. He had been giving Clarke the eye and awkwardly asked if Clarke was Lexa’s girlfriend within range of Lexa. Clarke didn’t know how to answer. She wanted to say yes, absolutely. And she thought about saying well, no, but we are working on it. But did she want to go into the reality with a stranger. To make matters worse, she could see Lexa, who had been chatting with Bellamy, stiffen and didn’t know if it was that she was jealous of Tristen or didn’t want the girlfriend moniker yet. Luckily, Echo caught it and eased the tension by saying, “Actually I’ve been trying to lay my hooks into Clarke, so she is off limits. I mean Lexa might have a history and the goo goo eyes, but I have the dance moves and everyone knows it is the dance moves. What do you say, Baby?” And she put her hand out, which Clarke grabbed as the lifeline it was and went to the middle of the room to dance.

\+ + +

Lexa was leaning back on the couch looking over at Clarke who sat forward on the couch looking only at Dr. Kane. Clarke rubbed her hand hands nervously as she chanced a glance at Lexa catching her eye.

“I’d like to talk about Niylah.”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Okay, but the thing is that we have to talk about it Lexa. It’s this big thing hanging over our head and I want to move forward with you and we need to talk about this. Cause I hurt you Lex and we will never heal from that hurt if we don’t talk about it.”

Kane spoke up, “Lexa, as you said before with the elephant in the room. We talked about your other issues quite a bit up to know and Clarke has discussed Niylah with me in her sessions and she decided that now is the time she’d like to explain somethings to help you understand where she is coming from.”

“Ok.”

Kane nodded towards Clarke as a cue to begin speaking.

“Ok, so I know this whole Niylah thing made me seem like a big hypocrite and I think that well that may not change. I know you said you never doubted me and you have never accused me of being inappropriate, but I want you to know absolutely that while we were together and even when I asked for time that I never was with Niylah and I didn’t even see her that way.”

“Until you did.” Lexa couldn’t stop from adding. “I mean how long before you did.”

“Honestly?”

‘I mean that’s why were here, right Kane?” Lexa said with a bit of bitterness.

“Yes that is why we were here, Lexa. But I think it will be beneficial for both you and Clarke to give her a moment to tell you why she acted this way and then you can respond afterwards. Sound good?”

“Yeah, good.” Lexa said.

“So this may not make it better for you, but Kane said I shouldn’t be worried about making what I did better for you, but just letting you know the truth and then that I will fix those behaviors to be better for you.” Clarke cleared her throat before continuing.

“Ok so honestly, I never really saw Niylah that way. I may have..” Clarke began before stopping to begin again, “Ok I definitely did let you think that Niylah and I were like a serious thing when we absolutely were not. And I did jump into bed with her and I felt so shitty about that. I was just so heartbroken and she was well Niylah is a very understanding person like she listened and she wasn’t creepy and one thing led to another and it just happened.”

Lexa looked away from Clarke. “And well we just we were friends with benefits I guess. But like we really only slept together three times. And when we were together really I mostly talked about you and it was pathetic. And then she happened to be around that one time and we actually had stopped everything, but you sort of assumed and yeah I wanted to hurt you, so I let you think it was something more. And then you started seeing other girls and I didn’t want to be the loser so yeah I continued to let you think well yeah.”

Lexa looked up at Clarke and then over to Kane, “Can I respond now?’

“If you are finished Clarke.”

“Clarke nodded.”

“I really don’t know what to do with this. Like am I supposed to feel better it wasn’t a real relationship? I mean you purposely used her to hurt me. That’s just as fucked up to me.”

“Oh and you didn’t bring girls around to hurt me?’

“No, I didn’t Clarke. I never brought anyone around when I knew you would be there. Cause if you were there, I wanted to be around you, no matter how pathetic I was. I only brought anyone if I knew Niylah would be there, so I wouldn’t have to deal with her. I mean fuck, I treated them like friends when you were around too. You made assumptions that I was sleeping with everyone too and I wasn’t.”

Clarke looked at Lexa and rolled her eyes.

“Okay Clarke, I think you need to discuss a little bit more about how you were feeling during the time and things you feel differently about now to help her understand.” Kane said gently.

“I felt betrayed and I know that wasn’t true, but it is how I felt. And I reached out to a friend who was outside our group, because even though I did eventually lean on Raven, she actually didn’t really well at first, she was still waiting to hear your side and be there for you, so I did reach out to Niylah because she was outside of the group and I felt well I wanted to forget about you and I certainly couldn’t do that with Raven. And the thing is I couldn’t forget about you at all and Niylah knew that and she, well we decided even casual sex was a bad idea. It wasn’t healthy and I wasn’t thinking from a good place Lexa. I was just reacting. It’s what I have always done. I just see something, latch on to it and then things go bad, because I think, well I don’t know. But I do know that I was not in a good place and I did really fucked up things and I hurt you, I hurt me. I hurt us. But I’m not going to do that anymore.”

Lexa nodded.

“And I have tried to tell you but you kept shutting me down but you need to know that I ran into Niylah, well no she stopped in and I even knowing Niylah and I were nothing and it would be nothing, I said we couldn’t hang out or be friendly because I was all in with you and you would be uncomfortable. You. Us. That is my first priority and I won’t…”

“I know you won’t. I actually ran into Niylah a while back and she told me that you said no.”

“What?”

“I was shopping with Bellamy and..”

“When was this Lex?”

“Before Bell and Echo’s dinner party.”

Clarke looked at Lexa and then at Kane.

“See this is it,” she said addressing Kane, “It’s not just me. I mean I tried to bring up Niylah from the day I ran into her and I mean the dinner party was like what three fucking weeks ago? We’ve been hanging out a lot. We have therapy twice a week since then. We talk every day and not one mention of running into Niylah who has been a big fucking hang up for her and not one word.”

“Clarke let’s keep things in check here, why don’t you address Lexa on your concerns here and how not mentioning this makes you feel.”

Clarke looked at Lexa, “It makes me feel like I am not the only one who needs to change or admit fault. That I have taken the brunt and yeah I get it, I served it up in the first place. But it’s the same shit, Lexa.”

Kane gave Clarke a look.

“Okay it’s the same stuff. That is a big thing not to mention and you know what I asked. You were weird that night and I asked and you shrugged it off and ignored and made me question what I did wrong. And I didn’t. And it’s just like before you shrugged everything off with our relationship, ignored me and didn’t talk. I mean Jesus Lexa, I didn’t know about your dreams for us until fucking..”

Kane looked at Clarke again.

“Until Ontari told me you had thought we would get through it and you were planning your warehouse for us. You never told me, Lexa. You never let me in and I sat around waiting for your calls and thinking I wasn’t enough everytime you cut a conversation short and I didn’t know you had those dreams. I should have known. You should have told me. Instead, I just well I felt like you were just waiting until you could break it off in person. Because you would never…”

“Clarke, I never wanted to break up with you.”

“I know Lexa, but how should I have known then. You gave me no indication you wanted us to last. I mean we just fought or you were too busy or didn’t want to talk. I can’t know what you are thinking if you don’t tell me. And yeah I asked for time, but I knew that was the heat of the moment and an awful choice. But you never reached out even then you didn’t tell me how you felt. We were on the brink and I still didn’t know you wanted everything with me. I didn’t know I was anything but a burden back home.”

“You weren’t a burden, Clarke.” Lexa said leaning forward towards Clarke.

“Lexa, you have to see why I thought that right? You have to see I had no clue what was happening with you. And Ontari was around a lot. And I should have dealt with that better. I should have supported your friendship. But Lexa, if I hadn’t been the one to run after you. If you came home and Niylah was in my bed like that. You would have jumped to the same conclusion. I mean she was just with me at a party once and you decided we were a full on couple. You can’t say you wouldn’t have thought I cheated. And you never said otherwise. You never once denied it, Lexa. Not one time, until Bellamy happens to date her friend, Raven happens to get drunk and rude and I happened to push you too far. What would have happened if Echo never came around? Would you have told me? Would we ever have a chance?”

“I don’t know, Clarke.”

“Yeah well Lexa that’s part of why we are here. It’s not just me. Now don’t get me wrong. I know I need to be better. I am trying to be better. And I see you trying sometimes, But I need you here with me all the time. I need to know you ran into Niylah and you aren’t fine and you need to know you don’t always have to be fine with me. I mean I fucked up there. I own that. And I can deal with you being upset with me. But I can’t deal with you not letting me in. I need to know what’s happening with you. I need to know what’s happening with us. Because I love you and I want those dreams with you, but I have to know what they are.”

Lexa nodded at Clarke reaching her hand out for her to grab.

“My turn?” She said looking at Kane.

“I would say so.’ He said with the corner of his mouth turning up.

“So I ran into Niylah at the Mediterranean place you love and she wasn’t awful, but she made me feel awful cause it brought a lot back. Bellamy and I went for a drink before the dinner party to loosen up, but it took a minute. I ignored you a bit, but I wasn’t mad at you. And I think it ended up being a fun evening. I’m still not cool with the whole Niylah thing. I am still really upset that you slept with her so soon. The reason I thought you were a thing is I know how you feel about sex. And I feel about sex with you that way. I didn’t feel about sex with anyone else that way, so I guess I can understand that. I don’t like it though. But I don’t think either of us will ever like that. And I want everyone to know that they don’t have a chance with you whether it is Niylah or anyone. I want us to be together officially. I want us to go to the next dinner party together and I want to call you my girlfriend when we introduce to new people. That was weird for me too. Oh and Ontari well you know this but I think you need me to tell you. She was my friend. Only my friend and it felt good to help her while things were tough with us. And Clarke, things were really rough for me. I wanted to talk to you more, but I didn’t want things to be worse. So I let it go. But I never saw us apart. And I still don’t ever see us apart. She was right. I bought the warehouse to turn into a studio for both of us and to have a beautiful loft for us to live, until we decide to have a baby and move out to the country. I prefer the country to the burbs. I think you do too. And then we can get you a big dog, because I know you want one. And I want to build a tree house with the kids, but like one close to the house so well we can hear everything and they won’t use it as teens to smoke and act like fools like Raven and I did. And I plan to stop touring when we have kids or maybe when they are in school age, but I’d like it if you could come with me then. And if you can’t I’ll do short tours and limit overseas stuff.”

“Lexa, what are you doing?”

“I’m letting you in. I am telling you what was going on then and what is going on now, so you know where I stand.”

Clarke smiled at Lexa with slight tears running down her cheek, but her eyes lit up.

“And I want us to go on that date you have planning. I want a real date, date, with romance and everything. And I want us to start taking the big steps. And I want to forgive you. And I think I am.”

“Lexa.”

Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes waiting for her to speak.

“You are really good at talking when you want to. And I want all those things with you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I lied (you should be used to that by now) and Niylah does make an appearance. It felt right. Which means another chapter will be added. Remember when this was supposed to be 16 chapters? Anyways, this is a big turning point. And the next chapter will be a huge romantic date.


	20. Definitely.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date …

Clarke had been nervous as she stood outside the art gallery, wearing a short black cocktail dress and heels, waiting on Lexa. She texted Raven who had been helping her prep for the day.

Clarke: She’s not here yet.

Raven: Jesus Clarke! It’s not even time yet. Like she has plenty of time.

Clarke: What if she doesn’t come?

Raven: You forgot how to make her come already?

Clarke: Shut up Raven! I am being serious.

Raven: So am I because she will be there, so the only coming you have to worry about is….

Clarke: I am messaging someone else. You suck at being supportive!

Raven: I mean yeah…

Clarke went into her messages and found Octavia.

Clarke: What if she doesn’t come?

Octavia: What if there is a zombie apocalypse? What if an asteroid hits?

Clarke: Ugh! Nevermind, messaging someone else.

Octavia: Raven says that all you have to do to make her come is

Octavia: the wait… what?

Octavia: Oh I do not understand this… nope.

Clarke: Never mind, you all are useless.

Clarke thought what the hell and went into her messages for another name.

Clarke: She isn’t here yet and I am super nervous. What if she doesn’t come?

Echo: She’ll be there. She already texted Bell she was in route and she is super nervous too. Relax. You love each other. You got this.

Clarke: Thank u. Who knew you’d be the one with a serious response. All Raven did was bring up making Lexa come…

Echo: By all means, I’d love to hear about that too.

Echo: I mean Maya had some great theories, but I see Lexa more as a bottom.

Clarke: UGH!!!!

Echo: I’m right aren’t I?

Clarke looked up from her phone as Lexa’s SUV pulled up to the curb, 10 minutes early she smiled brightly.

Clarke: Oh shit she’s here. Bye! Wish me luck!

Echo: Baby, you don’t need luck. You got this. Lexa will love it.

But then Gustus jumped out of the front seat giving her a short but effective glare to let her know her place. But when he opened up the door for Lexa, who climbed out wearing a black suit with a white shirt that was perfectly tailored for her body. Clarke couldn't help but take a step back. Lexa swatted his chest, placing a kiss on his cheek and said, “be nice,” Clarke felt her happiness return.

Lexa walked up to her saying hi softly and giving her a kiss cheek and Clarke felt even better.

“So, your gallery?”

“Yes, my gallery. Because well my dream to open this always included you and I want to finally have you here for a showing.”

“A showing?”

“Yes, an exclusive showing.”

“Exclusive, huh? Does that mean…”

“Don’t be dirty, Lex.” Clarke said with a smile, causing Lexa to fake frown. “I mean at least not yet.”

Clarke swung open the unlocked door, holding for Lexa, “After you.”

Lexa smiled as she walked past Clarke into the gallery.

Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand as she came in behind her, “So in my dream, you were at my side the entire night. And I’d be nervous, like I am right now, but I knew if I squeezed your hand,” Clarke said as she squeezed your hand and Lexa looked at her with a soft smile and kind eyes, “that’d you’d give me your reassuring smile and look at me just like that and it’d calm my nerves.”

Clarke brought Lexa over in front of the first painting, and I’d show you this painting…”

She paused to let Lexa look at it, “And you’d look at it questioningly at first and then you’d realize what it was and…”

“That’s the night we met.”

“Yeah, and I’d tell you I still remembered you on stage as Octavia dragged me out that night to see her boyfriend’s band play. And I was mesmerized by the lead singer and I could have sworn she looked right at me…”

“She did,” Lexa said with a smile.

Clarke smiled before pulling Lexa over to the other wall, “Then I’d take you over to look at the biggest painting with individual scenes and I would wait for your eyes to land on the blonde and the brunette by the mime, and you’d see the blonde’s hands extended,” Clarke looked at Lexa who began to laugh, “And you’d laugh cause you’d realize it was the time that the girl you liked finally had the gumption to ask you out in a very amazing way.”

“Clarke..” Lexa began, before Clarke took her other hand placed it on Lexa’s lips before continuing, “and you’d finally agree that was the most adorable way for a girl to ask and that you really like this origin story more than hey so….”

“I mean, how would you even paint that?” Lexa asked with a wink.

“Exactly.” Clarke smiled.

“And then, I’d stroll you over to the landscape.”

“And I’d realize it was our spot and..”

“And you’d think of the first time we were at Mount Weather and maybe last time too.”

“And how I stepped behind you,” Lexa said stepping behind Clarke, putting her hand around her stomach and leaning closely against her back, “and I leaned in as you looked out and placed a soft kiss, right here,” she said as she kissed Clarke on the side of her neck.

“And I turned around and,” Clarke turned around gently placing her hands on the side of Lexa’s face as she pulled her into a kiss. Lexa never let her hand move only finding it on Clarke’s back and placed her other hand firmly around her pulling her into her body and deepening the kiss.

\+ + +

Clarke had a car service drop them off by Lexa’s place. Lexa had said Gustus could definitely pop by, but well Clarke didn’t really want Gustus’ looks and it was her date to plan, which meant she took care of the transportation.

“Clarke, what are we doing here? If you want to go back to my place all you have to do is ask.” Lexa said raising her eyebrows up and down.

“Cute, Lex. But no, we are going a bit further up,” Clarke said as the pair walked towards the river instead of the warehouse. As they got closer Lexa a small part of the waterfront lit up. Clarke put her hand around the small of Lexa’s back guiding her to the river path, where a small table was set up and the tree around it was strung with lights. She looked over to the water, which had floating lamps, and the large bouquet of white lilies that sat on the bench.

“We had a lot of spots in the past, but I sort of like this bench and this path right here. I feel like we’ve had some nice moments here and well, Mt Weather isn’t doable in heels and I wanted to show off my calves for you.”

“I am very thankful for the calves,” Lexa said with a smirk.

Clarke pulled out Lexa’s chair for her, “My lady,” as Aiden approached with basket of food.

“Aiden, hello.”

“Oh no, I am Clarke’s fancy waiter. Mr. Aiden.”

Lexa smiled, “Of course Mr. Aiden, thank you.”

He set out one covered dish in the middle of the pre prepped table and then plunked down to bottles of beer.

“Have a good evening, ladies,” He said winking at Lexa.

Lexa looked at the Corona sitting on the table strangely.

“Ok, so I know it isn’t fine wine, but I realized something recently. In this whole thing maybe the most unforgivable thing that happened is I deprived you of Raven’s chorizo tacos,” Clarke said as she raised the cover of the plate in the middle.

Lexa grabbed a taco immediately and bit in, “God! This is so good. You are pulling out the stops.”

Clarke smiled, “for you anything.”

Lexa put down her half-eaten taco, grabbed the Corona, raising it to Clarke, “To us.”

“To mixing the best of our past with the best future we can hope for.” Clarke added before clinking glasses.

“Oh yeah, any other past you like to mix in.”

“Well, there was that night in Savannah…”

Lexa spit out her Corona and found herself coughing uncontrollably.”

Clarke wiped off the corona that ended up on her face. And couldn’t help but laugh at Lexa’s reaction.

“Oh fuck, Clarke”

“I mean yeah there was that.”

When Lexa finally caught her breath, she said, “You’re not even being subtle anymore are you?”

“No, Lex. I want us to take that next step,” before shyly adding, “If you’re ready of course.”

\+ + +

“Why did we come back to your place, when my place was literally around the corner?” Lexa whined as she stood outside Clarke’s door waiting for her to open it.

“Someone’s impatient.” Clarke said with a laugh as she swung the door open to a room full of candles, grabbing Lexa’s hand and pulling her in with her.

“Because I couldn’t do this at your place.”

“Wow, how?”

“I mean you don’t have to ask Raven twice to light things on fire.”

“No, you don’t.” Lexa said with a grin.

“So,” Clarke began fiddling with Lexa’s fingers.

Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes then down at her lips. She reached out gently grasping her neck with one hand and stepping into Clarke’s space.

“So…”

“I think we…”

Clarke’s words were stopped with Lexa’s lips on hers, before she briefly pulled back but kept her lips close to Clarke’s while looking in her eyes, “I think, we’ve done a lot of talking lately, maybe we try something else?”

Clarke nodded and Lexa slightly turned her head kissing Clarke again. She slowly opened her mouth as Clarke kissed her back, weaving her hands into Lexa’s brown wavy locks. As the kiss deepened and both Lexa and Clarke explored each other’s mouth, Lexa started moving Clarke backwards stepping into her space, until they were up against Clarke’s door.

Lexa pulled back from Clarke, breathing deeply as she looked into Clarke’s questioning eyes.

“What do you say? We make the next big step?”

Clarke nodded enthusiastically, placing her hand on the knob and turning it to open, as she pulled Lexa into her room by her waist.

“Definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but sweet. Hope you enjoyed.... more to come tomorrow.


	21. Ah, so it went well?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is a chapter for you...

Clarke was laying on the bed with her arms sprawled out as Lexa rolled over and leaned back on the bed with her arms above her head.

‘Well fuck!” Lexa said with a smile.

“Indeed.” Clarke smiled with her eyes closed and a slight hum.

‘I’ll make breakfast,” Lexa said kissing Clarke on the forehead.

Clarke’s eyes opened wide as she spoke, “Lex, I think Raven is out there so…”

“So?” Lexa questioned looking down at Clarke.

“Well things are, well, so you don’t have to…”

“Clarke.” Lexa said in an overly reassuring voice, “Raven and I have been talking.”

“You have?”

“Yeah, we have.”

Clarke looked away for a moment, before Lexa jumped back in.

“And don’t start thinking I am not talking to you about things. I wanted to focus on us for now. Raven and I, well I mean it could only last so long and well she is my sister.”

Clarke looked at Lexa with tears brimming from her eyes.

“Why are you crying, Clarke?”

“I’m not crying,” she said looking away.

“Ok, why are you not crying?” Lexa asked with a laugh.

“I thought I ruined not just us, but you two. And I’m just I’m happy I didn’t.”

“Clarke, Raven and I well that was never on you. We made our choices.”

Clarke smiled and nodded.

“And you didn’t ruin us either. Ok?”

Clarke nodded again and Lexa moved her hand to wipe away a tear, then leaned down and gently kissed Clarke. She extended the kiss moving her lips against Clarke’s. Clarke could feel the reassurance Lexa was trying to convey. Lexa broke the kiss leaning back and looking into Clarke’s eyes, “Ok?”

Clarke smiled brightly, “Ok.”

\+ + +

Raven stood in the kitchen pulling out the orange juice form the fridge as Lexa came out in a t-shirt and shorts. She looked up startled by Lexa’s presence, as she expected Clarke to be the one coming out.

“Oh, hey, I’m going to sneak out, then.” Raven said pointing towards the door.

“Nah, don’t worry. You’re good. This is your place.”

“Ah, so it went well?”

Lexa couldn’t help, but smile.

“Yeah, yeah, it did. And hey thanks for the tacos. They were great.”

“Yeah they were Lex, not everything changes.”

Lexa’s eyes lit up with an idea, ‘So I came out here to make pancakes, BUT…”

Raven rolled here eyes, “fine I will make you all breakfast.”

“Like the full works?” Lexa asked hopefully.

“Yeah, the whole shebang.”

“Awesome Raven, I really appreciate it.”

“Well don’t awesome Raven me yet, you’re helping.”

“But…”

“No buts, Lex.”

Lexa frowned as Raven went over to the fridge grabbing the eggs, “ah Lex, just like the old days me doing all the work and you bitching about having to help.”

“Hey, I helped!”

“You put toast in so you wouldn’t get yelled at.”

“Well we can’t all be suck ups.”

“I did not suck up, I was just thankful…”

“Bla bla bla, little Orphan Rannie….”

“Just make the coffee Lexa.” Raven said with a smile that was returned by Lexa.

Lexa went over to the counter, grabbing the coffee, where she couldn’t help but notice everything was in the same place as before.

“Little Orphan Rannie.” Raven muttered.

“Oh what you prefer…”

“You prefer being 14?”

“Are you saying I’m immature?”

Clarke came out of the bedroom looking between Lexa and Raven. She walked up to Lexa putting her arms around her stomach and pulling her back into her, giving her a kiss on her neck.

“Are you two fighting already?”

“No.”

“No.”

“Oh well you can agree on things. I didn’t know if you could anymore.”

“First, we never agreed on things before really.”

“That’s true.” Lexa said.

“Now, we can agree that you can hush,” Raven said as she chopped bell peppers.

“That’s not true.” Lexa said turning to smile at Clarke.

‘Do you want me to cook breakfast or would you rather Lexa’s pathetic attempt at pancakes?”

“I can make pancakes, mom always…”

“Always lied because she was just happy you were up and doing something instead of bitching about….”

“Ok, Raven,” Clarke said pulling Lexa back, “As much as I miss you two bitching at each other like teenagers, I am going to steal Lexa away for a bit.”

“Yeah, good. Y’all need to shower. You both stink like sex.”

“Jesus, Raven! How did I forget you were such an asshole?” Lexa asked.

‘You didn’t. You literally told me last week that I was an asshole.”

“You told mom…”

“I had your back there. You wanted me to start showing you, I’d have your back, well I had your back. But I mean she asked…”

“Yeah, well next time you have my back think about the fact that I never told mom that I was….”

Raven’s eyes grew big as she tilted her head towards Clarke.

“You know what never mind. You make breakfast with your sweet self and we’ll shower, because yeah…” Lexa said as she followed after Clarke.

Lexa stripped off her clothes and stepped into the hot shower behind Clarke, placing a gentle kiss on the back of her shoulder. “This is nice. I miss showers with you.”

Clarke turned around and kissed Lexa, as her hands moved up and down Lexa’s abs.

“You need to get wet, Lex.” Clarke said as she turned Lexa around in front of her so the shower stream fell on Lexa.

“Oh, I was already plenty wet, darling.”

“Oh yeah, darlin now?”

“Yup.”

Clarke pulled Lexa into her, looking down at her lips, “So?”

“So?” Lexa asked with a smirk.

“What were you hiding from your mom that you don’t want me to know?”

Lexa’s eyes widened as she looked at Clarke.

“Ummmm.”

Clarke smiled wide, “Ummmmm?”

“Shower sex, first. Mom talk, later.” Lexa said while reaching her arm around Clarke’s back and stroking it up and down her spine.

“Talk first, sex later.”

Lexa frowned.

‘Just think of that as our new motto, Lex.”

“Your motto sucks, Clarke,” Lexa said smiling, “And it wastes water. Did you know that water consumption…”

“Lex, your mom.”

“Your mom, Clarke!” Lexa said with a laugh still stroking Clarke’s back and looking at her lips.

Clarke stepped back.

“Fine. Raven told her we were like a thing or going to be a thing and well, she, I mean… she knows my side, ok?”

Clarke’s eyes betrayed her as she looked down.

Lexa gently grasped her chin and softly placed her lips on Clarke’s moving slightly against them before leaning back. “Clarke, no worries, she will get it, she’s my mom and she wants me to be happy. And she will see that you make me very happy.”

“I do?”

“I mean yeah, sure I’d be happy if we were having shower sex now instead of talking about my mom but….”

“Alright then, whatever makes you happy,” Clarke said smiling as she put both her hands-on Lexa’s neck pulling her in for a long kiss as the water fell on their bodies. As Lexa opened her mouth for Clarke to explore, Clarke dropped her right-hand down skimming Lexa’s neck before falling in between her breasts, sliding down her hard abs, past her belly button to Lexa’s soft folds, moving her fingers up and down Lexa’s clit. Clarke pulled away from Lexa looking into her eyes, “does this make you happy, Lex?”

Lexa nodded, as Clarke entered her with two fingers and pushed Lexa back against the wall of the shower, as Clarke leaned her face forward kissing Lexa below her ear. As Lexa whispered out a “fuck.”

“That’s what we’re going for here, Lex.”

\+ + +

It had been two weeks after being the therapy session where they decided to be official and twelve days since there date. Lexa and Clarke had managed to spend time together every day, whether it was Lexa dropping by with coffee at the gallery or Clarke finding she loved just laying around Lexa’s warehouse listening to her play guitar, to another fun date planed by Lexa at a small music venue, and plenty of getting to know each other’s bodies again. But tonight, Clarke had made the quick decision to have the whole gang back together at her place. And she found herself extremely nervous to be around her friends as Lexa’s girlfriend, again. When Lexa came early to Clarke’s place she picked up on the vibe and tried to help, but gave up and sat on the coach watching a documentary on Netflix as Raven was taking a shower and Clarke moved around like a busy body placing bowls and plates of finger foods on the coffee table blocking Lexa’s view, which she did not mind. She finally couldn’t take it anymore. “Sit down, Clarke.”

“Nope. I have things to do.”

“No, you don’t. You are literally having the same losers over that always come. You have food, beer, they will be fine.”

Clarke gave Lexa a hard look.

“What? It’s no big deal. It’s just…”

“It’s just the first gathering at my place since well…”

Lexa reached out grabbing Clarke as she walked by and pulling her back onto the couch with her, “Since the whole thing with us..”

“Yeah,” Clarke said with a nod.

Lexa put her hands on Clarke’s ass putting them into the back of her jean pockets and squeezing.

“Ok then, so I am the only person’s opinion, you should care about then and I got to say, this is a pretty good snack for me,” Lexa said as she pecked Clarke on the lips.

‘I’m serious, Lex. This is the first time we will be around all our friends you know together again and I…”

‘And you are all awkward and weird for no reason..”

“I just want it to go well. I don’t want anyone saying anything and ….”

“And having finger foods in the perfect bowls will make that happen?”

Clarke put her hands on Lexa’s shoulders and hoisted herself up, “whatever, Lex.”

“See you are getting the arguing side of you out of the way now, before anyone comes, so it will be all good.”

“I’m not arguing…” she stopped as Lexa stood up and grabbed her hand then pulled her into her kissing her.

“Kissing is better than panicking and arguing, no?”

“Yes,” Clarke said as she kissed Lexa back.

As they were kissing, the door flung open Bellamy, Echo, Lincoln, Octavia, and Anya filled in talking loudly.

“We’re back, bitches!’ Octavia shouted.

“Hot dang!” Bellamy shouted, “It’s on!”

Clarke pulled away from Lexa, but kept her eyes on her not minding the crowd, “You’re right, I don’t care about these losers.”

Lexa laughed, stepping away from Clarke as Echo approached.

‘Ummm, excuse me.” Echo said giving Lexa a hug.

‘Not you, the others, obviously.’

“Obviously,” Echo said as she gave Clarke a kiss on the cheek, “See I told you, you got this.”

Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hand pulling her into her side and kissing her on the side of her cheek, “She most definitely has this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really love this chapter..., but hey, what is a gal to do... also fun to come... And no I'm not finishing by the 20th. But don't blame me... Golly4Ever posted two new chapters to my fave fanfic and I had to go back and reread the whole thing... so blame her. :-)


	22. Are you going to therapy talk me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am back.... started a new job last month sooooo…. but I am back and here is a chapter in which there is a party and the tables turn a bit.

Clarke was going to bed excited about picking Lexa up from the airport the next afternoon. She headed to bed early just to make the next day come that much quicker. Lexa had only been away a week this time and Clarke was busting at the seems with excitement that she was coming back. Things had been going really well and they had fallen into a nice rhythm as a couple. Her phone chimed interrupting her thoughts about Lexa and there plans for the next day.

Echo: So… we are throwing Lexa a welcome home party.

Clarke: She was away for a week….Any excuse for a party…

Echo: Lexa’s place just screams party! Honestly, it was just sad til she met me. 😊

Clarke: Does Lexa know?

Echo: No, but you can tell her. Thanks!

Clarke: Oh great!

Echo: I mean my boobs are charming, but she doesn’t get to play with them.

Clarke: Why are you the way you are?

Echo: I mean, I’d let her play with them if you and Bell wouldn’t get all salty.

Clarke: Good night, Echo.

Echo: Sweet dreams, Baby.

Clarke decided to call Lexa.

“Hello.”

“Hey babe, what are you up to?

“I am relaxing poolside with Maya, Jasper, and a few friends.”

“Nice, hope you enjoy the sunshine.”

“I miss my sunshine.”

“Oh man, Lex that was pure cheese.”

“You liked it though.”

“Yeah, I did.” Clarke said with a smile.

“What are you up to?”

“Well I am going to bed, so I can have sweet dreams of you and then hoping tomorrow you can..”

“Oh, I will definitely make them come true.”

“Yeah.?”

“Yeah, in fact, are you sure you want a sweet dream?”

“Why?”

“I mean, I think we’d have more fun making a dirty dream come true.”

Clarke let out a loud laugh, “Problem is babe, it will have to wait a bit, because Echo is throwing you a welcome home party at your place.”

“That’s fine. We can just have our won private party in my room.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Hey I heard those walls were super thin, you should be careful Clarke!” She heard a voice yelling from far away on the phone.

“Stop listening to my conversations Maya!”

“Oh yeah, so thought you weren’t with a lot of girls..”

“Clarke.” Lexa said with a warning voice.  
“I know. I’m not starting anything. I swear.”

“Ok, but I mean that doesn’t matter anyways, because it’s you and..”

“And?”

“And the party will be so loud, no one will hear anyways.”

“Charming.”

“I know, babe.”

“I miss you and can’t wait to see your charming self.”

“I miss you to love. Can’t wait til tomorrow.”

\+ + +

Clarke had picked up Lexa at the airport and spent the afternoon with her before going back to the gallery for a meeting and promising to see her soon. When Clarke got to the party a few hours later, she was surprised to be greeted by a happily drunk Lexa.  
“Hey babe, I missed you.” Lexa cooed as she pulled her in for a long and very public kiss. The kind she had pulled away from in the past.

“Oh yeah, I guess so.”

“Yup.” Lexa said with an exaggerated pop to the p.

“There are a lot of folks here babe.”

“Yeah, Echo gets excited and not surprisingly has a lot of friends. Friends who include Ontari,” Lexa said pointing over her shoulder. “But I haven’t been hanging with her or anything.” Lexa said with big eyes.

“Lex, you can hang with her. I am not lying when I say, I am fine with it.”

“Well, that’s cool. But I think I’d much rather hang with you tonight.”

Bellamy approached the two with Echo, “Y’all can do that later, for now I need my Lex for a minute.”

“Why?” Lexa looked skeptical.

“We have to murder some people in beer pong.”

“Are we in college?” Clarke asked.

“No, but this is a frat themed party, baby.” Echo said.

“Duty calls, babe.’ Lexa said giving Clarke a kiss before Bellamy drug her away and just as a familiar face appeared.

“Clarke, I thought that was you.” Roan said smiling at her sincerely and reaching in to hug Echo, “hey, Echo. How do you two know eachother?”

“Wait a second, do you know each other?” Echo asked.

  
“Umm yeah we dated.” Roan said with a shrug.

  
“You dated?” Echo said with a wide smile, “Oh this is too good.”

  
“It was like three or four dates.”

  
“You dated Ontario’s brother! This is classic!”

“Your Ontari’s brother?” Clarke asked with a grimace.

“I mean I know she has a rep, but what did she do to you?”

“Long story, well I mean,” Clarke started.

“Nothing, she did nothing to Clarke. But Clarke did accuse her former girlfriend who is also her new girlfriend of cheating on her with Ontari and that is why Clarkie here was even able to date you” Echo said making over the top quotations with her hands, “instead of riding of into the sunset with lady love.”

“Oh shit! Lexa!” Roan shouted to excitedly as it clicked, making everyone in the room turn including Lexa standing at the end of the table, who met Clarke’s panicking eyes and wondered over to Clarke.

“Roan.” Lexa said greeting Roan, “why the excited Lexa?”

“Who wants to tell? Can I tell? I’d really love to do the honors.” Echo said with a chuckle.

Clarke put her arm around Lexa’s waist, “no, you cannot tell, we will talk to you all later. It was nice seeing you Roan,” she said as she guided Lexa away for a private moment.

“So what’s up?” Lexa asked looking at Clarke with questioning eyes.

“Apparently, I know Roan.” Clarke said looking away from Lexa, “Well we dated, but like just a few times.”

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“I mean yeah, I know you were hung up on me, but that doesn’t mean you had to choose like literally the grossest dude around to self-sabotage.” Lexa said with a smirk.

“He’s not the grossest.”

Lexa quirked her eyebrow.

“For someone who was all shy about me finding out you dated Roan, you really want to defend his looks?”

“Not really.”

“Good. But ya know it’s sort of weird that one of us has actually dated a Queen. And honestly you chose the worst one.”

“Ummm, you know just because I know you didn’t do anything with Ontari, doesn’t mean you should really be talking about her looks either.”

Lexa laughed, “I wasn’t. I mean better looking than Roan isn’t saying much. I mean Niylah, okay, I can sorta see the appeal, but Roan… it was a long hard fall, doll.”

“You think you are cute, don’t you?”

“I mean I’ve been told a few times that I am.”

“By who exactly?”

“Ahhh, you getting jealous?”

“No, I..” Clarke stalled, “I’ve been working on that.”

“I was kidding Clarke.” Lexa said pulling Clarke into her for a brief kiss, “and anyways, by you, babe.”

“You are more than just cute, babe.”

“Tell me more,” Lexa said looking at Clarke’s lips.

“Maybe later, now I have plans.” Clarke said as she pulled Lexa into a long lingering kiss.

\+ + +

Clarke and Lexa did stick together, dancing and enjoying eachothers company until, Echo decided to take a twirl on the dance floor with Clarke and Lexa turned into a social bunny strangely enough popping around talking to different people, including a fun chat with Ontari, and mostly being super competitive with Bellamy. Until she caught sight of Clarke on the dance floor not with Echo, but Roan. She walked over to the dance floor where she made eye contact with Clarke, who looked at her with a questioning look and then said something to Roan and walked over to Lex.

“What’s up, babe? You look like you have been having fun.” Clarke said with a slight smile.

“Yeah, well you look like you are having fun too.” Lexa said without a smile.

“You are jealous? You said you weren’t jealous.” Clarke said looking unimpressed with Lexa.

“I’’m not.” Lexa said with a scoff.

“Ok. Sure seems like it. You seem very cool right now.”  
  
“You danced with someone you dated!”

“And? We barely dated and you know I am not nor ever was into him. I told you that.”

“Still you don’t do that.” Lexa said with her jaw tightened.

“Ok, I’m sorry.” Clarke said putting her hands up.

“No, you’re not. You just don’t want me to be mad at you.”

“I just want to move on from your ridiculous out of line jealousy. It was like jr high three feet away talk dance. Where I mostly talked about your annoying ass anyways.”

“I’m the ridiculous jealous one? That’s gold.”

“You are right now Lex and it’s annoying as fuck.”

“Yeah, well now you know what I dealt with!” Lexa yelled drawing attention to her and Clarke.

“Yeah, I do. We discussed this I was ridiculous and now you are being immature.”

  
“I should take my immature ass and dance with Ontari.” Lexa said beginning to walk away, before Clarke grabbed her hand.

  
“Don’t you fucking dare, Lex.”

“What would you be jealous? I thought you were working on that.” Lexa mocked.

“No, but you’d be doing it to intentionally hurt me.”

“I’m not I’m saying I’m going to I’m saying I should.”

“Lex, I’m going to bring up two things...” Clarke began trying to calm herself down.

“Are you going to therapy talk me?”

Clarke sighed, relaxed her shoulders, and bit back her first angry thoughts, “Yes, one I’m going to take a moment and not escalate. But also, I’m allowed to be upset with you and you can’t hold the past against me.”

“Don’t patronize me.”

“How am I patronizing you?”

“Moment, escalate, I’m allowed to be upset... Bla bla bla.”

Clarke couldn’t bite her anger back now. “No, not Bla Bla bla... it’s the whole fucking point of going to pay a billion dollars a week to Dr. Kane!”

This outburst turned the eyes of the whole gang who had been sitting on the couches nearby on them.

Lexa rolled her eyes.

“Did you just roll your eyes at me?!”

“Yes, mom.”

“Well someone needs to act like a grown up while your acting like a fucking sullen teenager.”

“Now Clarke take a moment and don’t escalate the situation.” Lexa said with a faux soft voice.

Clarke took a deep breath, “Lexa I’m going to go now. But another two things and this isn’t therapy talk this is pissed off Clarke talk. One, you better fucking apologize for being an asshole tomorrow. And two if you even think about dancing with her I will fucking...”

“You’ll fucking what?”

Clarke breath deeply again.

“You know what, dance with her. I really don’t care about that.“

“You don’t care!” Lexa said with an exaggerated huf.

“Fuck Lexa! No, I don’t care if you dance with Ontari. I do care that you are being an asshole and brought her up to ruffle my feathers, because you don’t trust me.”

“Why the fuck would I..”

“Lexa, I suggest we stop. I am going home. You can stay. You can dance with Ontari or whoever you want. I do trust you won’t overstep. And frankly have fun tonight, because tomorrow you are so in the doghouse.” Clarke said as she walked away.

Raven got up from the couch looking at Clarke before heading over to Lexa, who took a giant swig of her drink before looking at Raven with a death glare, “Yeah?”

Raven took the drink from Lexa slamming the rest back before saying, “Come on let’s go do something stupid. It’s been a while.”

“I’m game.” Lexa said as she followed Raven who already began walking out of the warehouse.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not going to make you all wait so long for the next update. I have what I think is a very fun chapter ahead and written. Just need one more thing and it will be good to go tomorrow. But, I needed this wee bit of drama... I miss angst. (Oh we have only had like two angst-less chapters you say.)


	23. Girls! Get out here!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, finally my favorite characters make their debut. Enjoy! See didn't make you wait another month. 
> 
> P.S. from the comments on the last chapter, you probably will hate my take on Lexa-Clarke jealousy dynamics from the last chapter, this chapter, and the next. But we will all make it through this together. :-)

“Lexa, love.” Bellamy said as he jumped onto her bed and leaned back beside her.

“Fuck off.”

“Ahhh, rough night. Do tell? I mean I saw the Clarke stuff and wow, we are back at that. Although, weird you being the jealous one. But please do tell what you and Raven got up to.”

“Nothing, we got up to nothing.”

“Sure looks like it.”

“And wasn’t jealous.”

“Yeah, you were. I actually thought it was freaky Friday and you switched spots with Clarke circa four years ago.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m just going to sleep and forget for a bit.”

“Oh Lex, you think that is a good idea.”

“No, but I mean I will give her time to simmer. And I also don’t really feel bad either.”

“Does time to simmer ever work with Clarke? And honestly, I think you threw her for a loop. I mean even back when I thought you were a bit, how do you say, assholish, you were never ever the jealous type. Like four years ago that never would have bothered you.”

“Well four years ago was a long time ago and…”

“And?”

“You are overly involved in my life, you know that right?”

Lexa’s phone rang as she was getting up, ready to go see Clarke. She picked up the call surprised to see Raven’s name after their wild night recreating their teenage years, when she’d get in trouble at home.

“Hello Raven.”

“Raven, why are you calling now? Why are you awake after last night?”

“Lexa, we have a problem.”

“Listen if it’s Clarke…”

“No, it’s not Clarke, I haven’t even seen her since I slumped in here ready to die, and I’m not getting involved with you two ever again. It’s Gaia! Fucking Gaia is here.”

“Why is Gaia there?”

“Because Gaia is a fucking idiot who dropped out of school, Lex.”

“Oh shit!”

“Yeah, so you have to come talk some sense into her.”

“Me? Why me? You talk to her.”

“Lex, she wants to pursue her passion… bla, bla, bla, Lex didn’t go to college, bla…”

“Oh no! She can’t say that! What if she tells Indra that? I’ll be dead!”

“I know! And then when Indra has killed you and Gaia, she’ll probably kill me too, because she has a taste for blood.”

“We’re dead. We’re all dead! Fucking Gaia!”

“Right! You hear that Gaia, you are killing us!”

“I’m on my way. Shit.”

Bellamy sat up quickly as she hung up the phone, “want me to go with you?”

“Thanks, but I will face this battle myself?”

“You are a braver man than I, Lex.”

“Bellamy, you are such a…”

“Good friend.”

“Yeah, ok. Got to go. Let yourself out.”

Bellamy leaned back in the bed. “Actually, I just had a nice brunch. I am going to take a cat nap.”

\+ + +

Raven greeted Lexa at the door. “Lexa they are in route!”

“What?!? Fuck, I can’t see them now. Do you know how long it’s been since I have called and add Gaia and…”

“You are fucked!”

“Yes, I am fucked!”

“Hide in Clarke’s room.”

“Hide in Clarke’s room? What? Why not yours?” She said as Raven pushed her towards the door, who was shaking her head no.

“Gaia is hiding in mine and if she sees you she will get all loud and excited! So Clarke’s it is.”

“I am fucked that way too. I thought I’d have a moment to compose myself before I went in the lion’s den.”

“Well you don’t.” Raven said knocking on Clarke’s door, “And it’s a fair lioness who wants to have your babies or an angry mama lion who is deeply disappointed in her cubs. Pick your poison.”

“Clarke, it is.”

“Good choice.” Raven said as she opened the door and pushed Lexa in.

“Clarke…” Lexa began as she laid eyes on Clarke laying in her bed with a book.

“Lexa.”

“Hey so..”

“You come rushing in my room and all I get is a hey so?” Clarke frowned at Lexa and cocked her eye.

“Oh shit, yes, you are still mad at me.”

“You thought I wouldn’t still be mad?”

“Oh no, I mean, ok so the thing is, I have more important things..”

“More important things than your girlfriend being mad about something that happened last night and you already...”

“Ok not more important, but scarier…”

“Scarier?” Clarke’s stare bore into Clarke.

Lexa’s phone beeped, she looked down.

Raven: They’re coming up, Lex! 9-1-1

Lexa’s eyes grew wide and then when she looked up to see Clarke’s unimpressed stare, they grew even wider.

“Shit!”

“You are really checking a text now?”

“Lexa stepped over to Clarke who was now standing, “Ok Clarke, I am really sorry. I was really out of line. My bad. Completely. Like top notch a-hole. Ok?”

“That’s your apology.”

Lexa went close to Clarke putting her hands on her arms and spoke in earnest at a rapid pace, “I mean, I may not be that sorry and let’s book an appointment to discuss this new jealousy thing I have going, which really does make sense when you think about it, but in the meantime if it helps you deal yeah, real sorry, super sorry, but the thing is and I don’t mean to rush this, normally I’d have well you know, I did it before, and I’ll do it again.. just like you, but now,…”

“Girls! Get out here!”

“Lexa, we know you are here too!”

“How the fuck do they know that?” Lexa muttered to herself, before saying to Clarke, “Now we have bigger things to deal with.”

“Was that your moms?”

“Yes. I said scarier than you Clarke. No one is scarier than you but…”

Clarke turned Lexa around and pushed her to the door, “Ok well, I forgive you and now you have fun out there.”

“Clarke, nope, nuh huh, it is your job as my girlfriend to stand by my side.”

“Lexa, Gustus like hated me and he’s not….”

“You can’t make me go out there alone.”

“What’s the big deal? Why are they even here? I mean your moms love you.”

“Clarke, Gaia is here and she quit school and Indra will murder me. So you as my girlfriend have to come out there with me and have my back no matter how awkward.”

“Fine, but I better get a way better apology for last night and like double for this shitshow that is about to happen.”

“Great! If I live to tell about it, I will do whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?” Clarke said with a wink.

“I am about to die and you are getting horny? You were just mad at me two seconds ago. Whiplash, woman!”

“Oh don’t be dramatic, Lexa.”

“Lexa!!! I know you are in there.”

“Okay, yeah. One last kiss?”

Lexa kissed Clarke quickly grabbing Clarke’s hand loosely and pulling her out of the room behind her walking out into the living room where two pissed off women were standing side by side.

“Mom.” Lexa said looking at Becca as Clarke trailed behind her holding her hand even more loosely, letting go as Lexa went to give her mother a hug. Lexa turned towards Indra who was standing next to her with a stern look.

‘Mama” Lexa said with a light smile.

“Don’t mama, me.”

“You told me to call you Mama.”

“Yeah, as in all the time because I am your mother too, not as in selectively when you are trying to weasel out of something.”

“I’m not trying to weasel out of anything. I did nothing wrong and I call you Mama all the time ask Clarke.”

“Oh yeah, Clarke is an authority on the truth.” Indra said.

“Where’s your sister, Lexa?” Becca asked.

“Gaia? I haven’t even seen her. I swear I had nothing to do with it.”

“I meant Raven. Where is Raven?”

Raven opened the door coming out of her room. “Hi Mom, hi…”

“Don’t you dare Mama me either unless you mean it.”

Raven saddled up to Indra giving her a kiss on the cheek, “Why of course I mean it. Lexa is the one who wouldn’t say it. I always called you Mama from the get-go. Remember that.”

“Thanks for throwing me under the bus again Raven.”

“Oh come on I took so much heat for things you did growing up. Give me this one.”

“Ok so where is Gaia?”

“She’s in my room and..” Raven grabbed onto Indra’s arm as she headed into the direction of Raven’s room. “I think you should listen before you go in guns blazing.”

“And maybe not blame Lexa for Gaia’s decisions.” Clarke said backing up her girlfriend.

“Clarke,” Becca began coldly, “nice to see you again. How long has it been? I mean a few months before you broke my Lexa’s heart and my girls started fighting?”

“Ummm.”

“Mom, be nice to Clarke. Raven and I are adults and responsible for ourselves. Just like Gaia is an adult and responsible for her own decisions.”

“Nice segue,” Clarke muttered under her breath to Lexa.

“Yes,” Raven added, “not everyone is meant for college and just because I went to college and Gaia has always looked up to Lexa and sure Lex always had Titus’ dough to …”

“Raven how are you helping? Is this you helping?” Lexa muttered to her.

“Oh Lexa, Raven has been helping you for far too long now, it’s time for you to take responsibility for your actions.” Indra said.

“My actions?” Lexa said in a high-pitched voice.

“Oh come on when do you call your mom?”

“I mean I …”

“And did you see Gaia last time you were out there when she was in school?”

“I had a lot going on okay?”

“No not ok. Not ok to abandon your family, Lexa.”

“I didn’t abandon my family! Gaia isn’t your little bitty baby girl anymore Innnndra! She doesn’t need her step-sister to come in and rule her life. An overbearing, overstepping mom is enough.”

“Lexa.” Becca said giving her the eye, “don’t talk to your mother like that.”

“Oh my God! Am I 16 again? Tell me I’m 16 again!”

Clarke grabbed Lexa’s arm and pulled her back from her moms to get her to relax as Raven muttered under her breath, “Maybe we are 16. I mean this does feel a lot like that time you got caught finger fucking Costia in…”

‘Oh my God, Raven! What the fuck!”

“Seriously Raven, your language and..”

Raven rose her hands up and backed away, ‘What I was just taking a stroll down memory lane. I mean if you also remember that was the time Lexa flipped out left the house shouting that Indra wasn’t her mother and never would be and…”

“Raven! How are you helping?” Lexa asked.

“Oh yeah, so I was getting there.”

“Get there faster! Skip the me being a teenage asshole parts.”

“Well that’s going to be hard you were…”

“Fucking hell Raven!”

“Lexa!” Indra and Becca shouted with disapproving looks.

“She’s the one…” Lexa began pointing at Raven.

“Yes, I’m the one who ran after Lexa and found her at..” Raven began.

Lexa gave Raven a hard look.

“Well that part doesn’t matter. But convinced her that Indra was indeed her mother and that we made a pretty cool family and that she makes the best big sister and that Gaia thought she was the coolest person in the world and how this thing that seemed so negative to her might be a great thing. And it was. Because you’re a pretty great Mom, Indra and Lexa is the best big sister. And Gaia knew that Lexa would always be there for her and I would always be there for her. And she is here because she knows the path you saw won’t work for her. So maybe we can take this negative thing and see it as a positive and maybe understand where Gaia is coming from.”

Indra looked at Raven and then Lexa sternly. “Fine, I’ll listen.”

“Good. And remember if all else fails, Lexa is loaded not just with Titus money, I mean rock star money is no joke, and she can take care of Gaia.”

“Well you are going to be loaded to Raven, marrying into money, so you can.”

“Marrying?”

Lexa looked over at Raven.

“You didn’t tell her?”

“Well not yet genius.”

“Payback for..”

“Oh telling Mom that you are back with the girl you’ve been pining after for like three years is such a spoiler.”

“Okay then telling Mom you are engaged to the girlfriend you’ve had for like three years is such a spoiler too. I mean what were you waiting for? And mom loves Anya. I mean she was her step-daughter. So it’s like her daughter marrying her daughter?”

“Ewww, Lex.”

“Girls,” Becca began.

“Mom, aren’t you happy? You get to deal with Titus again and not just at my wedding.”

“You two aren’t getting married too are you?” Becca said dripping with disdain.

“Oh noooo!” Lexa said.

Clarke looked at Lexa, “Well, thanks Lex.”

Clarke said dropping her hand and walking away.

“I mean, no, like not now, nooooo. But like maybe, definitely later, ya knooooow.”

“That’s your save?’ Raven asked.

“Hey moms remember that time Raven got engaged and didn’t tell you or Gaia dropped out of college and didn’t tell you?” Lexa asked as she walked away after Clarke into her room.

Clarke was still standing waiting on Lexa.

“You can’t honestly be mad at me about that.”

“Oh no, but your mom is super scary and I wanted to escape her you broke my little girl’s heart glare asap, and that’s just Becca, didn’t want to hear Indra go, and I got you an excuse to leave Raven hanging too.”

Lexa stepped forward putting her hands around Clarke’s waist, “God, I love you.”

“You better. And you have a lot of making up to do.”

“I don’t know if I do, but if it is fun enough I could be game.” Lexa questioned before she kissed Clarke who smiled into the kiss and laughed as Lexa pushed her back onto the bed. Lexa continued the kiss, putting her knee in between Lexa’s legs until Clarke pulled away from the kiss.

“Should we maybe talk about last night?” Clarke asked.

“I mean that out there kind of took the wind out of me. Nothing like the fear of Indra to put life in perspective. And I wasn’t joking about keeping it for a session. I am sorry for being a bit much though. I know you weren’t being shady with Roan. I am just more bothered by that kind of thing than before. But enough about that. Let’s makeup. I mean makeup sex is the best sex, so let’s just skip a bit.” Lexa said looking down at Clarke. 

“We did that before, and it didn’t work out to well.”

“This is just a little skip not a giant leap.” Lexa said moving back in for a kiss, before Clarke put her hands on her shoulders pushing her up gently.

“As much as I want you to make things up to me, your moms are in the living room.”

“I mean you just heard they caught me finger fucking…” 

“First, never refer to finger fucking another girl again."

Lexa's eyes perked up, "I thought I was the jealous one now and you were all...."

"I'm trying, but not that there. But also ewwww, we are not having sex with your moms in the living room.”

Lexa laughed as she flipped over onto her back. “And Maya says I’m boring.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the entrance of Becca and Indra and it helped explain more of the Raven/Lexa relationship.


	24. When you know, you know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More characters appear... I hope you enjoy. Oh Lexa has a rant... I’m a fan of those.

Lexa leaned back into Clarke’s bed, “So if we can’t have sex And well I’m not going out there. What are we going to do?”

“I’m going to read a book,” Clarke said as she rolled over in bed to grab the book she was reading.”

“Ya boring!”

“Lex, stop hanging out with Octavia.”

“Why? Ya scared she’s going to be team Lexa from here on out?”

Clarke rose an eyebrow at Lexa, “and here I thought we were a team together.”

“We could be,” lexa said grabbing the book from Clarke and leaning over her then firmly kissing her. 

A loud high pitched alarm went off causing Lexa to jump back from Clarke. 

“What the hell is that?”

“Shit! That’s my mom,” Clarke said reaching towards her phone. 

“Hey mom, what’s up?”

“We’re here, honey.”

“Here, where? Morocco?”

“No, here as in your place?”

”Wait! What?”

“Yes, it was meant to be a surprise honey but Raven isn’t answering her phone so..” 

“Oh it’s still a surprise..”

“Oh wait Raven just buzzed us in. See you in a second love.”

Clarke sat up abruptly as Lexa leaned back again.

“So your parents are in Morocco?”

“No Lexa, my parents are here.”

Lexa’s eyes grew wide as she jumped up. “Like here as in the city?”

“No here as in about to walk into my apartment”

Lexa jumped up, “holy hell I am hung over and your cheating ex and well fuck!”

“Don’t worry my parents don’t think your my cheating ex.”

“Oh you told them then.”

“No.”

“So why don’t...”

“I never told them you cheated, I just well turns out I told them the truth.”

“Which is?”

“We couldn’t handle the long distance and I’d rather have you as a friend than nothing.”

“But you told everyone why not them?”

“I mean well I guess my mom well you and her..”

“Didn’t get along?”

“Yeah and I didn’t want her to not like you..”

“Why’d you care if she liked me?”

“Well I mean what  if..“

“Abby, Jake, so nice to see you again...” Lexa and Clarke could hear Becca greeting Clarke’s parents.

“Well it’s game time.” Clarke said getting up. 

“Wait, what did you tell them about us getting back together?” Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hand. 

“That we grew up and I’m still crazy in love with you so I stopped being an idiot and now I have an amazing girlfriend.” Lexa pulled Clarke into her while grinning. “Oh yeah an amazing girlfriend?”

“Well that was before yesterday... now I have an annoying ass girlfriend.”

“One you’re still crazy in love with?”

Clarke leaned into Lexa planting her lips on Lexa’s while wrapping her arms around Lexa’s waist. 

“I’d have to be crazy in love to deal with her.” She said word by word in between kisses. 

Lexa pushes Clarke back into her door deepening the kiss.

“Jesus! Both sets of your parents are here and your little sister, Lex! Could you leave the makeup sex for later?!?!” Raven yelled from the living room.

“She really is an asshole.”

“I told you, Clarke.”

“Wait, you’re having sex! Raven said you were fighting. You haven’t even said hi to me yet.” Gaia squealed.

Clarke banged her head back on the door. “You have too many sisters and they are assholes, Lex.”

“Yup, now lets go greet your parents before someone else says something about us having sex in front of them. Who knows maybe Anya will show up yet. That’d be fun.”

Clarke turned around opening the door and pulled Lexa out with her being immediately tackle hugged by Gaia pulling both into her.

“Ahhh, I’m so happy y’all are back together! Clarke you’re going to be my sister-in-law after all!” Gaia squeaked.

“You need to calm down with the marriage stuff.” Lexa said as Clarke side eyed her again.

“Yes, you do.” Abby and Becca said in unison.

“Gaia, all you’ve done today is manage to get me in trouble. You’re lucky I love you kid.”

As Clarke and Lexa managed to get out of Gaia’s grip, Jake quickly approached the pair first hugging Clarke and whispering in her ear. Lexa felt her heart pound against her chest as Jake looked towards her and stepped out of the hug. 

“Lexa, you’re looking good. Glad to hear my daughter wised up.”

“You are?”

“Of course. I never understood why you broke up in the first place.”

Indra and Becca looked at each other and Lexa quickly looked towards them with a glare she learned from them to silence her moms.

“Yeah well, we were young and...”

“Jake and I were married for two years by that age. When you know, you know.” Abby said while hugging her daughter.

“Yeah well my mom and dad were married that young too and then turns out mom is a lesbian so...”

“Bi-sexual, Lexa.”

“I know. But the joke isn’t funny that way.” 

“No, it’s just bi-phobic,” Clarke says, “and really your mom and girlfriend..”

“Yes, I respect both your sexualities. Ok less so when I have to say sexuality about my mom,” Lexa says with a grimace, “and when yours means you dated Roan. Like gross.”

“Are we really bringing up, Roan?”

“It’s a joke. Octavia gets away with this all the time. I try it and noooo.”

“Anyways Lexa, it’s nice to see you again. I’m surprised you’re not in LA or on tour.” Abby said.

Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand giving it a squeeze reminding Lexa to relax. 

“Nice to see you too Abby. I hear you’ve enjoyed quite a bit of traveling yourself with the new position.” Lexa said skipping over the obvious provocation.

“Yes, Jake and I made it a priority to make sure he could accompany me on my longer placements.”

Lexa could feel the judgement rolling off of Abby. “That’s lovely. It would be nice if Clarke was able to go on tour with me. But she refused last time. So...”

“Abby, Jake,” Raven interjected after seeing the look in both Lexa and Clarke’s eyes, we were just discussing that we should all go for a family lunch. How about we make it an extended family lunch?”

“Yes, that would be nice. It has been a while since we’ve chatted Abby. I’d love to hear about your work.” Indra added purposely easing the tension for her daughter.

“Camden’s?” Raven asked.

“Camden’s it is.” said Jake.

“I just need to change.” Clarke quickly said, “Lex and I will meet you all there, right babe?” 

“Yeah sure,” Lexa said flatly as Clarke drug her into her room.

“You ok? you know my mom...”

“Blames me for everything, no matter what? I mean even in this version, I’m the bad guy.”

“You’re not the bad guy.”

“Ok why don’t you tell her that? I mean Jake and I made a priority Bla Bla bla. I mean shit I’d love if you made a priority to..”

“That’s not fair, Lex.”

“Isn’t it? I asked you and you..”

“Couldn’t drop everything to follow you around? My dad is in a much different position in life. He can take consultant jobs and I..”

“Yeah, I know you..”

“Lex, stop.”

“Stop what? You wanted to know my feelings.”

“Yes, but this feels like a giant step backwards. This was settled. It’s in the past.”

“Yeah, but it’s not in the past. What if I want you to go on tour with me this time? What if I ask again? And you say no again? And the same thing happens?”

“It won’t.”

“How can you be so sure?” 

Clarke moves towards Lexa lightly placing her arms around her neck, “Cause I know.” Lexa looked at her with a furrowed brow.

“I know that I’m not that insecure anymore and I wont jump to conclusions. I know that you’ll talk to me like you are doing right now. I know that I’m not going to fly off the handle. I know that you’ll make time for me and when you can’t you’ll shoot a quick message telling me why. I know that I will be more understanding that you are really busy and touring is exhausting. I know that you’ll keep me in the loop. I know that I’ll ask if you don’t. I know that you need friends on tour too. I know that I trust you. I know that I love you so fucking much. I know we will do whatever it takes to make us work. Because I know that we have the same dreams now and whether I come on tour with you which I would love or only come when I can make it work with the gallery. Either way, I know we will make it work.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And now after that grand speech, you are supposed to kiss the girl.”

“Am I?”

“Yes, Le...” 

Lexa cut her off by pulling her in by the waist and kissing her pouting every emotion she had into Clarke.

Pulling away Lexa said, “I’m glad we both know then.”

“When you know, you know.” Clarke said with a wink.

  * \- - 

The brunch had been going fine with Jake and Indra diplomatically navigating the conversation for the first 30 minutes, until Abby managed to ask Lexa, “So Lexa will you be going on tour again soon? I know that was a problem in the past...”

“Mom, it’s really..” Clarke began before Lexa cut her off with a quick head shake and thigh squeeze suggesting she could handle it. 

“Well, I just finished up recording, but I will likely be going on tour again after the album is released.”

“And how long will this be? Will Clarke and you..”

“Lexa and I will discuss this when the time comes, mom. But whatever the plan is, we will do a much better job of communicating and I won’t fuck it all up again by wrongly accusing her of cheating and by me being a selfish bitch again.”

“Clarke!” Abby snapped with surprise, while Jake fiddled with his fork.

Lexa, Raven, and Gaia all seemed shocked by Clarke’s out burst, but Becca began clapping. 

“Mom!” lexa began.

“What? I can’t applaud your girlfriend for finally taking responsibility for her actions?”

“Can I say something?” Raven asked.

“No you may not say something!” Lexa snapped.

“Sheesh, ok need I remind you I’m firmly in your corner.”

“Lexa,” Clarke said softly putting her hand on Lexa’s. 

“No, here’s the thing. Clarke well yeah, she fucked up. And you know your right Abby, it was tough being in a relationship with me. There was so much happening, but it was happening to me too. That was hard for both of us. And it’s been hard for a while. But now it feels like we’re getting to where there are more easy parts than hard parts. And sure we take steps back. Like I was a jealous idiot last night and going to the stri...” Raven cleared her throat. 

“Sure ya didn’t want me to say something?”

Clarke looked up at Lexa as she paused.

“Any we will both make mistakes. But we’ve worked real hard in therapy to trust each other and we finally do. And I love Clarke so much, I’d do anything to make her happy Abby. Isn’t that what you want for your daughter? And mom, I’m the one Clarke hurt. And I forgave her. So you need to get on board that I am completely in this again. And one day in the near future, she’s going to be your daughter-in-law and I’m going to be your daughter-in-law Abby. And you too better be crying happy tears at our wedding, because your daughters are so fucking happy and love each other so fucking much. And..”

“I think we got it, Lexa.” Abby interrupted.

“Mom” Clarke began ready to step in.

“And when the time comes you have our blessing.” Abby continued, “because well after that speech what can I say?”

“And here I thought I was bringing the drama today.” Gaia said with a smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y’all enjoyed. May have lots of mistakes cause with less time to write, I did it in my phone. :-) But forward we go...


	25. Dramatic?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short but hopefully sweet. Also, I’m back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter count may be inaccurate. There was supposed to be more to this chapter, but it’s been so long I wanted to give you something. :-)

“So can I plan a sudden trip to La?” Lexa asked playing with Clarke’s hair as her head laid in her lap.

“Lexa!” Clarke and Raven snapped in unison.

“It’s ok babe I’ll take you with me.” Lexa said leaningdown to kiss Clarke. 

“Lexa, I swear to god I’m not putting up with YOUR family on my own. You two bitches will be at my engagement party, which is completely unnecessary might I add. But YOUR sister had to have one.” Raven said without even a hint of amusement. 

“Oh I see they are MY family now. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.”

“Babe lay off the tv.” Clarke said with a laugh.

“The half I don’t want to deal with are.”

“Don’t worry Dad will just ignore you like he does the rest of us.”

“Oh bullshit Lex.”

“I second that,” Clarke added raising her hand. “Titus is a complete overbearing bore to anyone that dates his daughters.”

“What all three times you have to interact with him? Don’t be dramatic.”

“Dramatic? You want to plan a trip to LA so you don’t have to answer questions to your moms about the status of our relationship. But news flash to you if we went to LA together I’d manage to have that awkward conversation myself.”

“What would be awkward between us? We have that conversation every week in therapy.”

“Sure we do.” Clarke said with a scoff.

“Take that tone all you want Clarke doesn’t make it true.”

“Oh my God! This isn’t about you two and your drama!”

Lexa and Clarke snap there heads up to look at Raven.

“We weren’t making it about us!” Clarke defended as Lexa asked, “What drama?”

“Lexa, Clarke, I’m going to take a brief hiatus from this letting y’all do your thing.And if you get mad just blame it on bride stress.”

“Ok..” Lexa said cautiously.

“Ok Lexa, Clarke is all in her feelings because well she thinks it should be you and her at this stage and the whole grand girlfriend pronouncement was a while back and she doesn’t feel like y’all have taken any steps forward, but she doesn’t want to say anything cause she thinks it’s her fault y’all aren’t where Anya and I am.”

“Is that right, Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“Oh my God, Lexa of course it is. And I don’t have time for your stumbling response so I’m going to just do this on your behalf. Clarke, Lexa wants to take the next steps she just doesn’t want to overshadow Anya and I or make any official decisions until the album is out and your scheduled so she doesn’t make you any promises she can’t keep. But she’s ready to get here too.”

“Is that right, Lexa? Clarke asked.

“Of course it is! Now be happy. Be patient and back to my crisis!!!”

“Ok fine, Raven. I will keep Dad away from you.” Lexa said.

“Again you are only doing that because you don’t want to deal with your moms.” Clarke added.

“Clarke, you just had your moment. Shut it. Lexa is hanging with Titus.”

“But I don’t want to have to hang with Titus too.” Clarke sighs dramatically. 

“Well that’s ok he doesn’t know we’re together, so just ignore me and all is well.”

Clarke sat up and raised her eyebrow at Lexa, who immediately started laughing.

”Is that supposed to be funny?”

“It is a little bit. Raven, did you see how rigid her back went? She was ready to fiiight.”

“Raven, can you tell Lexa she isn’t funny?” Clarke said, as she stood up. Then threw a pillow at Lexa’s face as she walked to the kitchen.

“Clarke, Lexa can ya both maybe stop being so annoying?”

Clarke grabs two beers out of the fridge hanging one to Raven. “Here you go Raven. Have a seat, relax, enjoy your beer and worry about a Titus and all that tomorrow.”

Raven plopped down on the chair as Clarke leaned back into Lexa in the sofa.

“Wait, where’s my beer?”

“In the fridge, babe. Have at it.”

“You know you were nicer to me when we were on a break.” Lexa said as she grabbed at Clarke’s beer before Clarke swung it away and jokingly elbowed her. 

“Keep it up, Lex.” Clarke warned.

“No, no, wait and keep all this for Titus. Keep him nice and busy.” Raven said as she tipped her head back taking a long swig of her beer.

“See this is why I’m eloping.” Lexa added and kissed the back of Clarke’s neck.

“No dealing with family drama.”

“Yeah cause y’all two make enough of your own.”


	26. Two problems with that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Engagement party stuff...

Clarke stood in the corner unable to hide her clearly annoyed face. Lexa walked over to her handing Clarke a champagne glass and dumping her own drink back in one go. 

“I’m sorry, Clarke.”

Clarke looked at Lexa with a furrowed brow, “you’re sorry?”

“Yeah, I mean I..”

“Lex, I only had to put up with him for a few hours, I’m sorry you had to deal with Titus your whole life.”

“Well to be fair he was only around here and there. Anya mostly watched me during the summers and then at 13 no one could make me go, not that old man Warbucks cared, well except now when he wants to question my life choices.”

“Well, he’s an idiot. I for one think you are perfect.” Clarke said as she walked into Lexa’s space and kissed her gently. 

“He’s a lot though and sorry you have to deal with that.”

“what with his... You know Lexa, if you would have asked me when you were young, I would have thought you’d been the steady one.” 

“But I guess Becca always has had her wild flair and I mean look at your Aunt Alie.” Clarke continued in a mocking deep voice, “Your mom probably let you around her too often as a kid and it rubbed off.”

“That’s why Anya’s so steady.”

Just at that moment, Anya rushed over to Lexa jumping on her back in excitement, “Lexaaaa!”

“Umm yes, stranger who is nothing like my sister.”

Raven caught up and wrapped her arms around both Anya and Lexa.

“Lexa, I don’t know what you did to make Titus all sweet but he’s giving us the private jet. Maybe this silly engagement ement party was worth it.”

Lexa shrugged herself out of the grip of Raven and she stepped behind Clarke laying her chin on Clarke’s shoulder, “So Clarke and I had to be chaperones for three hours and you two get the private jet? Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.”

“Nope, we all get the private jet, thanks to you.” Anya said.

“Which means Veeeeegas!!!!” Raven added wrapping up both Clarke and Lexa in her arms. She stepped away and put her hands around her mouth to create a megaphone in the now almost empty room, yelling “O, Lincoln, Echo, Bellamy, y’all we going to Vegas! Pack your bags!”

“When are we going?” Clarke asked finally getting a word in.

“Now, we going now.” Raven squealed.

“Ummm,” Clarke raised her eyebrow and Lexa gave heran intense glare. 

Anya calmly said, “Tomorrow. We can get our stuff together and be ready to go. Just need the plane back for Monday when Dad heads home and us normal folk head to work.”

Lexa pulled Clarke closer on giving her a kiss on the neck, “Vegas could be fun babe.”

“I’m in.” Clarke smiled.

“Vegas will be fun. Oh my god! Lex, do you remember the last time we went to Vegas? That was wild!” 

“Alright then, it’s been a long night and we apparently need our rest. Text me details and see you in the morning.” Lexa said pulling Clarke away. 

The couple hollered their goodbyes to the rest of the gang and headed out. It wasn’t until they were in the car that Clarke asked, “So what happened in Vegas?”

“It’s in the slogan, babe.” Lexa said with a smile as she gently tuggedClarke so her head fell softly into Lexa’s shoulder and she wrapped her arms around Clarke. “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” 

* * *

Lexa kisses behind Clarke’s ear as her hand slipped under Clarke’s dress, “You’re so fucking hot,” she said in a low whisper before sliding her hand further up Clarke’s thigh. Only to hear a slight shriek and Clarke’s hand sway her away. 

Lexa looked at her with a smirk.

“What seems to be the problem, Clarke?”

“We are not having sex with Gustus up there.”

“That’s what the screen-thingamajig is for.” Lexa said going back in for a kiss as Clarke put her hand in front of her lips. 

“Nope. If the screen is up he knows something is going on and what if he hears us? Can he hear us Clarke said with panic in her eyes?”

“I don’t know. I’ll ask him if he ever heard me before? Will that make you feel better, babe?”

“No that will not make me feel better. And before? Did you..”

Lexa leaned back into the car’s leather seat disentangling from Clarke. Readying her for a fight.

“I was just having fun with you. Is this going to be a thing? Earlier with Vegas and now this. Are we going to go back to this shit?”

“Whoa! Whoa! Lexa slow down.”

Lexa looked at Clarke, clearly unimpressed.

“It’s not going to be a thing, but I can have moments of vulnerability.”

Lexa nodded, “You’re right.”

“Look at your being the quick to go hothead on me. The roles have reversed.”

“You like it?” Lexa said with her eyebrows quirking up.

“Not really, total pain.”

“That’s what I’m saying, babe.” 

  
Clarke smiles softly, “I guess dealing with Titus prepared you for dealing with me, huh?”

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke, “Nothing could prepare me for dealing with you.”

“Nice,” Clarke smiles before turning her eyes towards Lexa seriously, “But hey can we talk about this for a moment because I want to be clear that I am doing better here but I still don’t like the thought of you having lots of sex with hot girls just like you don’t like the idea of me dating Roan and Niylah even a few times.”

“Alright then let’s make a deal, I will never again have lots of sex with a hot girl and you don’t date any dorks ever again. “

“Two problems with that.”

“So you want to date again then...” Lexa said mock raising an eyebrow.

Clarke ignored her, “One, I’m not a hot girl?”

“Oh you’re a hot girl, the hottest even, but you said lots of sex and you’ve been putting the kabash on sex quite a bit.”

Clarke playfully swatted Lexa’s shoulder, “Oh I’m sorry getting freaky with your moms in the next room, or in the bathroom when your dad is waiting for us to grab him a drink from the bar or with Gustus right up there doesn’t do it for me.”

Lexa laughed playfully. “All fair points. So what’s your other problem?”

“I’m clearly dating a dork now.”

“Well I could just wife you up and change that. You could be married to a dork forever then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided that I didn’t even want to bother showing Titus because he’s the worst. Hope this fic is still enjoyable. It’s in its final go. Not sure how many chapters yet but soon. Oh and Vegas!!!!! Kind of a set up chapter... wanted to get going again.


	27. Yes, we are going to the chapel!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vegas!!!

Clarke came out of the chapel holding a bouquet as Lexa was wrapped around her giggling. 

“I can’t believe that happened!” Lexa said laughing loudly as a Raven and Anya walked by holding hands, before Raven did a double take and dragged Anya back roughly.

“Ummm what happened?” Raven gasped.

Clarke and Lexa looked up quickly with shocked expressions as they met the gazes of Anya and Raven. 

“What are you doing here?” Lexa asked loudly.

“What are you doing here?” Raven matched her volume but in a higher pitch.

“You got married!” Anya and Clarke yelled at the same time. 

“Without me! So much for the blood oath.”   
“We made a blood oath! You can’t just get married without me there!” Lexa and Raven yelled simultaneously as they stepped towards each other.

Clarke looked at Lexa as Anya looked at Raven, “What the fuck is wrong with you two?” Anya asked.

“Seriously, blood oaths?” Clarke added.

“Yes, seriously!” Raven and Lexa said as they went chin to chin.

\+ + +

  
Clarke and Lexa were hanging in the hotel room after arriving in Vegas.   
  


“One rule for the weekend, Lexa.”

“There are no rules in Vegas, Clarke.” Lexa said mocking Clarke’s tone.

“I’m serious, babe.”

“Fine, miss serious.” Lexa said with a giggle causing Clarke to raise her eyebrow. “Ok fine. What’s the rule?”

“No, getting impulsive and getting married.”

Lexa started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“You really think I can’t handle one weekend in Vegas with you without wife-ing you up?”

“You just said yesterday...”

“I mean yeah but...”

“Oh so now you don’t want to wife me up?”

“Clarke if you want me to wife you up I’ll wife you up.”

“I just said no wife-ing up this weekend, Lex! It’s the one rule!”

“I’m getting whiplash here! Do you want me to wife you up or not?”

“Yes! I want you to wife me up!”

\+ + +

Bellamy approached Lexa and Clarke’s room and heard yelling. He hesitated but decided to knock anyways.”

The door swung open to an exasperated Clarke, “Yes?!”

“Well hello, Clarke.”

“Bellamy,” Lexa said beside Clarke sliding her arm around Clarke’s waist and pulling her in causing Clarke to roll her eyes, “can you tell Clarke, she’s being ridiculous.”

“Clarke, you’re being ridiculous”

“Bellamy, can you tell Lexa that she’s being obtuse.” Clarke said with an over the top smile.

“Lexa, you’re being obtuse.”

“Bellamy...”Lexa began as Bellamy interrupted.

“Clarke, can you tell Lexa to suit up cause we have plans.”

“Lexa,” Clarke began.

“We do?”

“Yes, we are going to the chapel!”

“And we’re going to get married!” Echo added appearing from nowhere.

Lexa looked at Clarke with perked up eyes as Clarke said, “We have one rule, Lex. One rule!”

“Octavia and her hunk of burning love are in the lobby. Sadly, Raven and Anya are MIA but that’s fine.”

“Yup, that’s about right. Alright then we will suit up and meet you in the lobby.” Lexa said.

“Yeah, you will.” Bellamy said grinning widely as Echo leaned into him with a matching grin.

As Lexa shut the door, she turned to Clarke grabbing her around the stomach and pulling her into a wandering kiss. “Have I ever told you how much I hate rules?”

“Since when?”

“Since you started the weirdest fight of our relationship yet.”

“I did not start a fight, Lex.”

Lexa kisses along Clarke’s neckline not letting go of her waist and slowly walking her back towards the bed, “Yeah you did, but don’t worry I’m starting the makeup sex.”

“You just said we’d meet them in the lobby.”

“I’m a rebel and a rule breaker, babe.” Lexa said as she pushed Clarke back into the bed.

Clarke fell backwards with wide surprised eyes abs a huge grin, “you did not just push me?” 

“I’m a bad girl, babe. Whatcha going to do about it?”

Clarke reaches up pulling Lexa down by her collar, “Oh I’ll show you what I’m going to..”

Loud knocks on the door interrupted them followed by Echo yelling, “were not idiots! Get dressed!!! Leave the sex for after the wedding, heathens!!!”

\+ + +

“Oh goodie! Are you recreating the night I first met y’all!” Echo yelled as her and Bellamy spilled out of the chapel.

Bellamy slung his arm around Lexa, “Raven you can’t be mad at my best man, drinks are on her tonight!”

“Wait? You had a double wedding?” Raven asked, “that’s even worse, Lex.”

“Oh my god, we did not get married.” Clarke groaned.

“Oh thank God because that would be a nightmare...”

“Well thanks for the vote of confidence.” Lexa said. 

“Oh no, I just mean moms are already mad enough...”

“With you two eloping. They are going to be livid.”

“Which is why we didn’t elope...” Anya said. 

“Plus, I was kind of hoping you’d,well I was serious with the blood oath...” Raven said awkwardly.

“Yes!” Lexa squealed as she jumped into Raven giving her a hug and almost knocking her over.

“Did she just squeal?” Echo said.

“How drunk are you all?” Anya asked.

“What the fuck is up with these blood oaths?” Clarke asked.

“umm are we all ignoring squealing Lexa?” Echo asked looking around, “and hugging?”  
  


“Where’s my blood oath? I should at least get one!”

“So those two are good again?” Echo asked, “anyone?  I’m so confused.”

“So wait! We are the only ones who got married right?” Bellamy asked?

“Yes.”

“Cool then tonight is about us.” Bellamy said.

“And we want to drink!!!!” Echo yelled.

Lincoln walked out of the chapel with a garter belt around his head and red lip stick all over his neck matching Octavia’s, who was hanging off his arm.

”what’d we miss?” Octavia asked as she watched the group walking away.

\+ + +

Clarke flopped two drinks in front of the newlyweds and fell into the booth beside Echo. 

“I come baring gifts for the love birds.” 

“Clarke, you make one hell of a maid of honour. I hope one day I can return the favor.”

“What if she chooses Raven?” Bellamy said.

“Nah blood oath and whatever that is....” She said motioning to Raven and Lexa who were at the bar throwing backshot followed by an elaborate handshake.

Bellamy furrowed his brow then said, “Didn’t they just hate each other?”

“Sisters are complicated.” Clarke added.

“Ok then speaking of complicated sisters,” Bellamy said motioning to where Octavia was dancing with Lincoln, “Octavia, they’ve known each other longer.” 

“I’ll say this, she dirty dances with the best of them. But when two souls meet, time means nothing, love. And sorry to break the news on our wedding night but Blonde Hotzilla and I, we are soulmates. It’s me.” Echo said as she put her arm around Clarke and pulled her in kissing her cheek.

“Well then I want to be Lex’s best man” Bellamy said with a pout. 

“Don’t worry Bell, I haven’t even asked her yet. You have time to lay the groundwork and make your case over Raven. But better get started.”

“Wait!” Both Bellamy and Echo turned to Clarke.

“You’re going to ask Sexy Lexa to marry you?”

Clarke nodded with a blush, “Yeah, I have it all planned out. Have for a while now.” 

“Ahhh, I’m so excited!!! You know in a way you have me to thank. If I never blew into the scene and angry Lexa never came out and...” 

“Yeah, we kind of do.” Clarke interrupted and continued with a broad smile, “Maybe I’ll make you my maid of honour after all.”

Echo wrapped both arms around Clarke and squeezed, “hell yes, you will soulmate!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was fun to write. Hope it was fun to read. :-)


	28. What’s the rush, babe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Vegas and a question...

Lexa saw Clarke sitting with Bellamy and Echo in the booth, so she rushed over. But instead of sitting by Clarke she fell into the booth beside Bellamy.

“What are you kids talking about?”

The three looked at each other awkwardly, before Echo said, “Oh you know wedding stuff.”

Lexa shrugged, then turned to Bellamy, “Want to come grab a drink with me bro?”

“I have a full drink here, Lex.”

Lexa grabbed the drink tipped it back and chugged the whole thing. “Oops, I think you need a new one.”

Bellamy shrugged and began to stand up as Clarke said, “Maybe slow it down, babe.”

“Don’t worry it’s happy drunk Lexa, I promise. But just one more to celebrate my guy.” She said smiling at Clarke and dragging Bellamy away.

“Did you just call me your guy?”

“Yeah, super weird. Sorry.”

As Bellamy and Lexa stood at the small private bar to the side, she looked at him seriously, “You want to know a secret?”

“Always.”

“I’m going to follow your example.”

“And that is?”

“I’m going to ask Clarke to marry me.” Lexa said grinning.

Bellamy grinned widely, “Great minds think alike.”

“I love you bro, but I’d hardly call you a great mind.

Bellamy shook his head and chuckled as he said, “Me either.”

\+ + +

Raven and Lexa strolled up to the cabana where Echo, Clarke, and Bellamy were sunbathing. Raven was wearing short jeans with a black tank, while Lexa was wearing a small black bikini, which drew Clarke’s attention.

Echo slapped her leg, “Down girl.”

“You’re finally here. But Where’s Anya?” Bellamy asked.

“Napping because and I quote she said you two exhaust me. Please go back to that not talking fighting.”

“Just wear my extra bikini and be done with it.” Lexa said her voice dripping with frustration.

“It’s weird isn’t it that when they were fighting, they were actually fighting less.” Clarke said with a furrowed brow like she was solving a complex math problem.

”Umm seemed to me they were pretty vocal then.” Echo stated.

“No, I want to go shopping you know I am particular about swim suits and your extra was too thin on the hip.” Raven said with a stern look directed to Lexa.

“This is ridiculous.” Lexa said plopping down on the beach chair beside Clarke, “You’ve been hiding that thing for a decade already! Who cares who sees it? You should have just gotten the silly tattoo on your arm like I did. I don’t know why you always had to be the good one.”

“Two things. First, watch your step. You are getting close to breaking the bloo..”

“Blood oath!” Echo jumped in, “we all get it you two are weird and close and weirdly close. You know Anya and me well I never felt a connection but she’s reading my mind. This pairing,” She said motioning between Lexa and Raven, “is the worst.”

“Echo, shush the hotties are fighting.” Bellamy said. 

“You are right babe. Sorry, hotties please continue.” Echo said motioning grandly with her hands.

“Okay, you are a very weird couple, but back to this nonsense. What’s the second thing?” Lexa asked.

“The good one? I mean really. You just made it so easy.”

“Pshaw!” Lexa huffed.

“And I’m glad I was terrified of moms or I’d be stuck with a green fucking dinosaur on my arm! I mean Ravens are cool. You should be thankful.”

“A dinosaur?” Echo asked.

Ravens eyes grew wide as she realized what she said.

“How’d I never see this?” Clarke and Bellamy asked at the same time.

  
“Whimpy goody too shoes!”

“And if I remember correctly, I was right! They grounded you for like ever! In fact I think you may still be grounded!”

“Ummm excuse me, you have a green dinosaur tattoo?” Echo asked.

“And I didn’t notice a green dinosaur?” Bellamy asked with a stomp.

“It was a drunken quickie Bellamy! I barely noticed you!”

“Ouch! I’m not memorable.”

”You’re memorable enough, love.” Echo said kissing his cheek.“But if you don’t mind, Raven, can we talk about how you have a dinosaur tattoo?” 

“No, we cannot!”

“Can we just ask what kind of dinosaur?” Echo continued.

“No!” Lexa and Raven shouted at the same time.

“Right because blood oaths.” Bellamy stated, “Lex, I need to get in on that action.”

Echo turned to Raven with raised eyebrows and a twinkle in her eyes, “Ok, but it’s a T-Rex isn’t it?”

“I said we can’t talk about it.”

“Right because you wouldn’t want anyone to know that your silly green dinosaur tattoo represents..”

“No, no, no!” Raven yells jumping towards Echo and covering her mouth. 

“Oh my God!” Bellamy began before Lexa jumped to cover his mouth.

But Bellamy and Echo both yelled though the hands muffling them straight to the ears of Clarke.

“Oh my God! Lexa T-Rexa!” Clarke shouted with a laugh. Lexa and Raven immediately dropped their hands causing Echo and Bellamy’s robust laughter to come falling out.

“Traitor!” Lexa and Raven yelled at Clarke.

“Clarke you’re my girlfriend!”

“You told her to get it on her arm! Now you don’t want people to know.”

“They can know she has a stupid dinosaur, not that it’s named after me.”

“You mean Lexa T-Rexa!”

”I hate that nickname!”

“This is why minors shouldn’t get tattoos.” Echo stated. 

\+ + + 

Back in their room after an afternoon poolside, Lexa and Clarke sat on the bed watching a tv show when Clarke suddenly turned to Lexa, “I think you should move in with me.”

“What?”

“Raven will probably be moving out soon and...”

“I don’t want to live in that apartment again.”

“Good, I don’t either.”

“You said you want me to move in with you though.” Lexa said.

“Only cause it’s weird to say I want to move in with you.”

“How is that weird?”

“It’s just really assertive.” Clarke said.

“Since when aren’t you just really assertive?”

“Oh my god Lexa, I just want to move in with you ok?!?”

“Ok.”

“Like ok, ok?”

“Yeah like ok.”

“Like ok yes?”

“Yes.” Lexa said.

“So you want me to move in with me?”

“No.” Lexa said with a smile.

“No?”

“Jesus Clarke! I thought we got better at this whole communication thing. I just said I want you to move in and with me at the warehouse. Don’t you remember that like Uber intense therapy session where I shared all my hopes and dreams?”

“Like your dream of me moving in with you?” Clarke said with a giant grin.

“Yes that dream.”

“Awesome!” Clarke clapped and sat up onto her knees going into intense planning mode, “So if we time this right and get started ASAP! The renovations will be done by the time Raven moves out and we can sell the apartment or if she wants to stay and Anya....”

“We don’t need to worry about selling the apartment or Raven.”

“What?”

“I signed the papers and it’s Raven’s place now.”

Clarke ran her hands though her hair in frustration, “You sold the apartment I live in without telling me?” She asked in a confused voice as her voice grew more agitated she continued, “Why did you not tell me? I know it’s technically you’re apartment...”

“What? No! It’s not like I think it’s mine. I never did. I just kept it in my name cause it was easy and bringing it up would be. Well. Yeah. But, It was just never a thing. And well now, I just knew where we were headed so I transferred the title to Raven last month.” Lexa said not sure where this was going.

“Last month, when I’ve been a bit hung up about you not being clear on our...”

“Yes, Clarke last month and yeah you’ve been  Bla Bla bla but can we be clear this wasn’t a me being secretive and not open thing.”

“Ok, then what was it?”

“It was me being romantic and surprising thing and I knew that because you have changed and I have changed I could make that move without worrying you’d freak or think I was keeping things from you.”

”ok, I won’t be mad because you’ve been pretty clear this weekend and well I really want to live with you again.”

”So I should also tell you I hired a contractor to start on renovations this week. “

“This week!”

“Ok that part was less thought out. I may need a place to stay.” Lexa said scrunching up her nose, “Can I stay with you babe?” She asked one a silly sweet voice.

“Well I’ll have to check with my landlord first.” Clarke said with a giggle before her eyes got wide when she thought about the timeline. “Wait! This week? What’s the rush?”

“I think we’ve waited long enough to start living the lives we’ve imagined.” Lexa said with a soft smile.

“Jesus Lex!” Clarke said drawing our each syllable. 

“Ummm what? Is there a problem?” Lexa said furrowing her brow.

“You sure know how to make a girl swoon.” Clarke said smiling as she laced her hands with Lexa’s and pulled her hand up kissing it softly.

“That’s all I get? That was a pretty grand gesture, Clarke.”

“Well next time leave the grand gestures for me. I’m better at them anyways.”

“You are terrible at them.”

“Uh no, last one was amazing!”

“That bizarro therapy thing?”

“Well I meant the first date with all the works, but yeah that was amazing.”

“How was that goofiness amazing?”

“Cause it got us here, Lex.”

“Yeah that is pretty amazing.” Lexa added before softly touching Clarke’s cheek and lowering her lips to softly touch Clarke’s. Keeping her lips just ghosting Clarke’s, Lexa whispered, “I think you’re pretty amazing, Clarke.”

“I think you’re so getting laid,” Clarke said pushing Lexa back onto the bed and straddled her waist. Quickly pulling her shirt above her head and tossing it on the floor. 

“What’s the rush babe?”

“I think it’s time we’ve started to live the lives we’ve imagined. And I have a very active imagination.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are in the final sprint here.... maybe two more chapters.


End file.
